Forums Closed
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As of January 1, 2019, we have closed our forums. This is a decision we did not come to lightly, but it is necessary. The software our forums run on is just too out-of-date and it poses a significant security risk. The server software itself must be updated, and it cannot be without removing the forums.
So it is with a heavy heart that we say goodbye to our long-running forums. They came online in 2000 and brought together so many wonderful Disney fans. We had friendships form, careers launch, couples marry, children born ... all because of this amazing community.
Thank you to each of you who were a part of this community. You made it possible.
And a very special thank you to our Guides (moderators), past and present, who kept our forums a happy place to be. You are the glue that held everything together, and we are forever grateful to you. Thank you aliceinwdw, Caldercup, MrsM, WillCAD, Fortissimo, GingerJ, HiddenMickey, CRCrazy, Eeyoresmom, disneyknut, disneydani, Cam22, chezp, WDWfan, Luvsun, KMB733, rescuesk, OhToodles!, Colexis Mom, lfredsbo, HiddenMickey, DrDolphin, DopeyGirl, duck addict, Disneybine, PixieMichele, Sandra Bostwick, Eeyore Tattoo, DyanKJ130, Suzy Q'Disney, LilMarcieMouse, AllisonG, Belle*, Chrissi, Brant, DawnDenise, Crystalloubear, Disneymom9092, FanOfMickey, Goofy4Goofy, GoofyMom, Home4us123, iamgrumpy, ilovedisney247, Jennifer2003, Jenny Pooh, KrisLuvsDisney, Ladyt, Laughaholic88, LauraBelle Hime, Lilianna, LizardCop, Loobyoxlip, lukeandbrooksmom, marisag, michnash, MickeyMAC, OffKilter_Lynn, PamelaK, Poor_Eeyore, ripkensnana, RobDVC, SHEANA1226, Shell of the South, snoozin, Statelady01, Tara O'Hara, tigger22, Tink and Co., Tinkerbelz, WDWJAMBA, wdwlovers, Wendyismyname, whoSEZ, WildforWD, and WvuGrrrl. You made the magic.
We want to personally thank Sara Varney, who coordinated our community for many years (among so many other things she did for us), and Cheryl Pendry, our Message Board Manager who helped train our Guides, and Ginger Jabour, who helped us with the PassPorter-specific forums and Live! Guides. Thank you for your time, energy, and enthusiasm. You made it all happen.
There are other changes as well.
Why? Well, the world has changed. And change with it, we must. The lyrics to "We Go On" for IllumiNations say it best:
We go on to the joy and through the tears
We go on to discover new frontiers
Moving on with the current of the years.
We go on
Moving forward now as one
Moving on with a spirit born to run
Ever on with each rising sun.
To a new day, we go on.
It's time to move on and move forward.
PassPorter is a small business, and for many years it supported our family. But the world changed, print books took a backseat to the Internet, and for a long time now it has been unable to make ends meet. We've had to find new ways to support our family, which means new careers and less and less time available to devote to our first baby, PassPorter.
But eventually, we must move on and move forward. It is the right thing to do.
So we are retiring this newsletter, as we simply cannot keep up with it. Many thanks to Mouse Fan Travel who supported it all these years, to All Ears and MousePlanet who helped us with news, to our many article contributors, and -- most importantly -- to Sara Varney who edited our newsletter so wonderfully for years and years.
And we are no longer charging for the Live Guides. If you have a subscription, it's yours to keep for the lifetime of the Live Guides at no additional cost. The Live Guides will stay online, barring server issues and technical problems, for all of 2019.
That said, PassPorter is not going away. Most of the resources will remain online for as long as we can support them, and after that we will find ways to make whatever we can available. PassPorter means a great deal to us, and to many of you, and we will do our best to keep it alive in whatever way we can. Our server costs are high, and they'll need to come out of our pockets, so in the future you can expect some changes so we can bring those costs down.
Thank you, thank you, thank you for your amazing support over the years. Without you, there's no way us little guys could have made something like this happen and given the "big guys" a run for their money. PassPorter was consistently the #3 guidebook after the Unofficial and Official guides, which was really unheard of for such a small company to do. We ROCKED it thanks to you and your support and love!
If you miss us, you can still find some of us online. Sara started a new blog at DisneyParkPrincess.com -- I strongly urge you to visit and get on her mailing list. She IS the Disney park princess and knows Disney backward and forward. And I am blogging as well at JenniferMaker.com, which is a little craft blog I started a couple of years ago to make ends meet. You can see and hear me in my craft show at https://www.youtube.com/c/jennifermaker . Many PassPorter readers and fans are on Facebook, in groups they formed like the PassPorter Trip Reports and PassPorter Crafting Challenge (if you join, just let them know you read about it in the newsletter). And some of our most devoted community members started a forum of their own at Pixie Dust Lane and all are invited over.
So we encourage you to stay in touch with us and your fellow community members wherever works best for you!
Best wishes for a wonderful and magical new year!
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Welcome! We're happy you've found the PassPorter Community -- the friendliest place to plan your vacation to Walt Disney World, Disney Cruise Line, Disneyland, and the world in general! You are now viewing the PassPorter Message Board Community as a guest, which gives you limited access. As our guest, feel free to browse our messages by selecting the forum you want to visit from the list below.
To post messages and ask questions, join our FREE community today and you'll get access to tools and resources not available to guests, such as our vacation countown timers, "living" avatars, private messaging system, database searches, downloads, and a special PassPorter discount code. Registration is fast, simple, and completely free. Just click the Join Our Community link.
If you think you've already joined, log in below now. If you don't remember your member name or password, please visit our Member Name and Password Recovery page. You are also welcome to contact us.
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10-25-2002, 12:21 AM
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#1
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Mrs. Jack Sparrow
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: Aboard the Black Pearl
Concierge Level: 7
Posts: 21,228
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Stupid Stuff to make you Smile : )
1. Only in America......can a pizza get to your house faster
than an ambulance.
2. Only in America......are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.
3. Only in America......do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
4. Only in America......do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.
5. Only in America......do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.
6. Only in America......do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.
7. Only in America......do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.
8. Only in America......do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight. (THIS ONE ALWAYS BUGGED ME!)
9. Only in America......do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.
10. Only in America......do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.
EVER WONDER ~~~~
Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?
Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?
Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?
Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?
Why is it that to stop Windows 98, you have to click on "Start"?
Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid is made with real lemons?
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?
Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?
Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?
If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?
If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?
~~~~~
In case you needed further proof that the
human race is doomed through stupidity,
here are some actual label instructions
on consumer goods.
On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. ( and that's the only time I have to work on my hair.)
On a bag of Fritos: ..You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special?)
On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that would be how??...)
On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it's "just" a suggestion.)
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down."
(well...duh, a bit late, huh!)
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (...and you thought????...)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me more time?)
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine:"Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)
On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (and... I'm taking this because???....)
On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (as opposed to...what?)
On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)
On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (talk about a news flash)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
"Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)
On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)
On a Swedish chainsaw:"Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals." (..was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)
Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread the stupidity and send this to someone you want to bring a smile to (maybe even a chuckle)...in other words send it to everyone. We all need to smile every once in a while.
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10-25-2002, 07:09 AM
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#2
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Community Rank: Legend 
Join Date: Mar 2001
Posts: 17,365
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Re: Stupid Stuff to make you Smile : )
Quote:
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On a Swedish chainsaw:"Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals." (..was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)
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<font size="2" face="Comic Sans MS, Arial">I just woke up the majority of the metro Richmond area with my laughter! ROTF! |
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10-25-2002, 09:04 AM
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#3
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Faith, Trust, Pixie Dust
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: Sasquatch Territory, Pacific Northwest
Concierge Level: 8
Posts: 17,166
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Re: Stupid Stuff to make you Smile : )
Quote:
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9. Only in America......do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.
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<font size="2" face="Comic Sans MS, Arial">OH, man how TRUE this is!!!!! |
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10-25-2002, 09:18 AM
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#4
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Wannabe Snowbird
Join Date: May 2002
Concierge Level: 7
Posts: 34,137
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Re: Stupid Stuff to make you Smile : )
Quote:
You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?
On a Swedish chainsaw:"Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals." (..was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)
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<font size="2" face="Comic Sans MS, Arial">Aw, geez! There's coffee all over my screen! Who's got the monitor cleaner? Pass it over, please! [img]images/icons/grin.gif[/img] |
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10-25-2002, 09:43 AM
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#5
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Community Rank: Trekker 
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Arkansas
Posts: 1,798
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Re: Stupid Stuff to make you Smile : )
Was it number 4, the thing about the diet coke? Soooo true! I used to work at TCBY and we made our own waffle cones using an entire pound of real butter in every batch of batter. Dieters came in and ordered a diet coke and sugar free/fat free yogurt in a waffle cone. [img]images/icons/confused.gif[/img]
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10-25-2002, 09:48 AM
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#6
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Community Rank: Adventurer 
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Michigan
Posts: 785
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Re: Stupid Stuff to make you Smile : )
Quote:
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On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)
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<font size="2" face="Comic Sans MS, Arial">Oh darn. I guess that would apply to the adult costume too. I hope I kept my receipt. [img]images/icons/wink.gif[/img]
I am a bit curious as to what else people are putting in food processors.....
Jessi |
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10-25-2002, 10:42 AM
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#7
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Community Rank: Jetsetter 
Join Date: May 2002
Location: Geogia
Concierge Level: 5
Posts: 2,549
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Re: Stupid Stuff to make you Smile : )
Quote:
On a Swedish chainsaw:"Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals." (..was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)
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<font size="2" face="Comic Sans MS, Arial">Okay, I'm sitting in a computer class full of shrieking third-graders (helping out a colleague who has to teach a computer class as part of her license renewal), and they're all wondering what I'm laughing at! I'm sure not gonna tell 'em! [img]images/icons/shocked.gif[/img] [img]images/icons/grin.gif[/img] |
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10-25-2002, 11:45 AM
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#8
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Community Rank: Trekker
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: Long Island, NY
Posts: 1,959
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Re: Stupid Stuff to make you Smile : )
Quote:
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On a Swedish chainsaw:"Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals." (..was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)
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<font size="2" face="Comic Sans MS, Arial">I cannot believe they actually "warned" people about this. I was cracking up! The mental image that followed didin't help me out any.
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10-25-2002, 03:08 PM
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#9
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Community Rank: Trailblazer 
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Tuscaloosa, AL
Posts: 5,641
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Re: Stupid Stuff to make you Smile : )
These are so good, Marcie. I've got one more for you from one of my favorite comedians, James Gregory:
On a Preparation H package - "not to be taken internally".
Gregory goes on to explain... you know why they had to put that on the outside of the box. Because somewhere, sometime, somebody said, "Ethel, I wonder how this would taste on a Ritz?"
[img]graemlins/yuma.gif[/img] [img]images/icons/grin.gif[/img]
Debbi
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10-25-2002, 03:44 PM
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#10
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Community Rank: Explorer 
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: The Jersey Shore
Posts: 7,249
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Re: Stupid Stuff to make you Smile : )
That reminds of the woman who sued a UK Pharmacuetical company a few years back. She had used their contraceptive jelly and got pregnant. Her claim was that the directions never said it would not work if she ate it on toast [img]images/icons/shocked.gif[/img] [img]graemlins/dizzy.gif[/img] [img]images/icons/confused.gif[/img] !
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10-25-2002, 04:00 PM
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#11
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Community Rank: Adventurer
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Kyle, Texas
Posts: 601
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Re: Stupid Stuff to make you Smile : )
Quote:
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On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me more time?)
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<font size="2" face="Comic Sans MS, Arial">I know someone that did this. It was pretty obvious because she was rather buxom always wore low cut blouses. One day she comes in with a VERY large bandage just below her collarbone. I asked her what what happened and she said she burned herself while ironing her dress. Needless to say I was a little confused until she micked the action of ironing her dress while she was wearing it.
Craig |
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10-25-2002, 06:09 PM
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#12
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Community Rank: Explorer
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: In the state of Disney Dreaming!
Concierge Level: 6
Posts: 10,572
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Re: Stupid Stuff to make you Smile : )
[img]images/icons/grin.gif[/img] [img]images/icons/grin.gif[/img] [img]images/icons/grin.gif[/img] [img]images/icons/grin.gif[/img] [img]images/icons/grin.gif[/img] [img]images/icons/grin.gif[/img]
All right Marcie...you have my entire family cracking up!
Thanks for the laughs!
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