Tell me I'm not crazy About This Page:

[Kruggie]

Okay gang,
My DH no longer allows me to watch the news. I fear that he may have the right idea. I left the t.v. for the first time really since the disaster today to drive him to pick up his car at the Garage. (huge bill...but another story.) Anyway, I was driving as for I dont care to have him drive my car..he moves my seat and stuff and I can never get it back to the right spot. I am driving along and we are not talking, just being quiet, as we all have been the last few days. I suddenly hit the brakes, just for a second, didn't come to a complete stop or anything, just a little jolt of the brakes. Then I just silently cried.
Why you ask? Well this is the part where I am questioning my sanity.
You see, for a split second, one measely second as I was clipping down the highway, I saw myself in the cockpit of a plane about to crash into the World Trade Center. As clear as day, for that split second. I was sick to my stomach.
DH says I have been watching too much, I guess he is right, so I am banned from the t.v. for now. I guess I have left this get too far into my brain. But honestly it is all I can think about, DH is rather angry with me but he knows I tend to dwell. I am hoping that I am not the only one out there who has watched to much t.v.

I am now making a resolution to continue to pray for victims, and focus my worries on what the future holds instead of rehashing the terror of it all. Which as of yet I havent seemed to be able to get past.

So there is a ban on the news at my house for now, I am allowed to watch the presidential addresses, but DH thinks it's wise if I discontinue viewing the families looking for their loved ones and the likes.

I would love it if someone out there could tell me that this is normal, and that I will never have that split second of terror again because honestly I feel guilty about being that terrified even if for only that second.

Tell me I am normal!
Sheesh, now you all will think I'm nuts.

[AKLRULZ]

I don't think the group will think that you are nuts - more normal than anything. This is the single worst event in the history of United States and the stories of the people lost and those left behind are just incredibly heartbreaking - in fact, heartbreaking is too mild of a word. Our life as we know it has been shattered - we have ALL been impacted, some more directly than others. I would certainly suggest you talk to a professional grief counselor and to make an appointment now, as I'm sure that their calendars will book up quickly now. If you are an employee, perhaps your employer has an Employee Assistance Program - I know that we reminded all of our employees that they can access this for free if they need to talk about their feelings.

While we haven't banned TV in the house, we are being more conscious of how long it is on. It's important to be informed, but we don't care to see anymore replays of the initial destruction and the mayhem that followed.

So, take care of yourself and I'll be praying for you. I think you are perfectly normal. Hang in there!

GOD BLESS AMERICA!

[ 09-15-2001: Message edited by: Dadtojbj ]

[LilMarcieMouse]

Yes I agree with Dadtojbj we all handle things diffrently.Who knows how I would react livivng close to one of the events.It wont hurt to talk to a proffesanle.Good luck and some pixie dust to help.

[Belle*]

You are NOT crazy. But you may be having some Post-Traumatic Stress symptoms. This is to be expected after an event of this magnitude. If you watch West Wing, they did some excellent episodes dealing with this topic last season. Here is a link to a good decription that also has links to other sites: Anxiety Network.

Please feel free to come here and vent if you need too. We are always here to listen!!

[mcneal]

I know how you feel! I think they need to back off on the 24-hour coverage. How can we get back to normal otherwise. You hang in there and if you think talking to someone will help then by all means find someone. Try to do normal things and concentrate on happy, productive things. mary

[pinkerbell]

You are not crazy. On Tuesday afternoon we heard military planes outside, and people were actually crying at their desks out of fear. I personally reached my breaking point last night, after arriving home from work at the end of such a sad and heartbreaking week. I couldn't stand to watch one more minute of tv or even to go online. I finally just cried myself to sleep around 8:45 last night.

TV is getting out of hand. Now they are at the point where they are reporting a lot of things only to come back later and say that they were rumors. I just can't stand to watch that plane crashing into the World Trade Center one more time, or to see the buildings collapsing.

[Sue W]

You are absolutely not crazy.I am having the trouble. All I can think about are those poor familes that will never know what exactly happened to their loved ones. My husband came in and turned the TV off today and it was such a relief. Last night a shopping plaza very near us had a scheduled fireworks display that I forgot about. I almost jumped out of my skin when it started and all the peolple on my street came running out of the house. It will be a long time for us I am afraid. Let's help each other through this.

[Las17]

Yes, everyone handles things differently. I dare anyone out there to say they haven't been deeply affected by this tragedy! I've been very scared and depressed myself. On Wednesday, there was a bomb threat at the daycare center about 1/4 mile from where I work. I also work at a daycare(my room is infants). We volunteered to take in all of the children and staff until the squad had checked their building out(nothing, thank God). They were actually surprised to hear that we would offer to take in the competition! I said to my director that we're all in this together-especially when it comes to protecting our innocent children!
Anyway, I think the no more news is a good idea. I've had the t.v. off since my hubby went to work this afternoon. I just can't watch anymore.
Take care of yourself and come talk to us whenever you want.
Laura

[Kruggie]

Thanks so much gang, I have had the news off for days now, and the internet too for that matter, but, I cant stay off the net for long!
I have to say that the lack of news has helped alot, I can focus on things better now and I am not so consumed with this mess. Fortunatly, I havent had anymore terrifying driving experiences, though I must admit that the strange looking van parked outside of the WalMart surly contained a dozen or so machine gun carrying terrorists, or perhaps just a bomb. I supprisingly wasnt disturbed by this thought, nor did it stop me from entering the store. I was actually rather pleased, from a saftey stand point, that I was so aware of my surroundings.

I think I am feeling more guilty now for having such strange reaction, simply because there are so many out there that witnessed this terror first hand. I have come to the conclusion that perhaps God has dissapated some of this anguish upon us all so that those who witnessed this hell first hand wont have to suffer all of the pain alone, for it would be too much for one person to bear. Prhaps I am taking just enough pain off of someone els, and allowing them to get through another day. Kind of like a shot of Demerol to the woman in active Labor. It really doesn't help, but for some reason, it helps her go on.

I am so glad for this place and for the people here.
Disney Lovers are the best! [img]images/icons/grin.gif[/img]

[WildForWD]

Hi Kruggie,
Glad to hear you are doing better!
We to needed a break from all the coverage this weekend!
I think it has helped us all to get a break from the constant coverage!
We are glad to have you back on the boards! [img]images/icons/wink.gif[/img]

[Jolin]

At work I finallyn got sick of the news and switched the big screen tv at the dorm grill to Fox and lo and behold! the nutty professor was on! I were very glad there were actually something else to watch! [img]images/icons/shocked.gif[/img]

[Wild4Diz]

It's a tragedy and we have all lived it. I think your reactions even in the store's parking lot are perfectly normal. I would think that we will all start to wonder about something or someone that we feel is suspicious, but we have to try to remember that it is still a free country and we shouldn't judge someone by their looks alone. Good luck on your continued healing and remember we're all here for you if you need us.

[Cruella]

I belive that we all have been changed in many ways due to this tragedy. I know how you feel. I have been trying to get back into my normal routine and do what I have to do, but several times every day I will flash back to what happened and where I was and what I saw and I just start to cry. I have to believe that this is normal and that I am strong and this will pass. I think about today, knowing that I will be returning to work on Thursday and driving into the city I loved so much before this happened. I know I will be crying as I approach the skyline and notice the absence of buildings that I knew so well and think of the people who are forever lost to us beneath them.

No, you are not crazy - you are a human being who has been touched by act of hate. With time and love, we will all recover but, I hope, never forget.

[MJW1960]

You are definately not crazy. My dh doesn't understand how this has affected me. He comes home at 7:30 at night and goes right to the news channels because he hasn't seen it all day. At that point, I need to escape from it all and I can't stand to be on the same floor of the house. Last night I took my two youngest boys up to my room and we watched whatever we could find that made us laugh. And boy, did it feel good to laugh again. Meanwhile, I have an appointment with my dr tomorrow, because some of the physical symptoms I'm having, I'm afraid I'm creating in my head. So don't feel "out of it" I think there are many of us with the exact same feelings.
God Bless,
Mel

[Kruggie]

I want to thank you guys so much for hearing me and understanding me. It is so good to know that I am not the only one who has such a difficult time dealing with this. In my thirty-some years of life I have never seen such a horrific event, hope I never do again.

What eats at me now is simply this. I saw this on t.v. It hurt me so deeply. What about those who have witnessed this first hand? It makes me feel guilty for letting it get to me so badly so I can shake it off easier.

Cruella, I continue to keep you in my prayers, you are a strong, beautiful person, you mean so much to us here. I can't immagine how deeply this has affected you, for I only watched it on t.v. You will be in my thoughts this Thursday and I know you will find the strength to stand tall, I am sure there will be a thousand pixies behind you just in case!

Thanks again guys!
If I cant be at Disney, This is the next best place!