Question about a bride's request??? - Page 3 - PassPorter - A Community of Walt Disney World, Disneyland, Disney Cruise Line, and General Travel Forums
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I'd talk to her and if she won't budge then step down. If she can't afford to do both (wedding/reception) then she better alter her plans. If you can’t afford it then don't do it. It amazes me that she had the nerve to ask this from you and the other bridesmaids.
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and then she told me that each person in the bridal party is going to have to make a breakfast, lunch, or dinner for 20 PEOPLE or more.
I wanted to say that you should talk to the rest of the bridal party, too. I am sure that the others are feeling a bit shocked as well. Think about the people she assigned dinner for 20+ to.....
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I wanted to say that you should talk to the rest of the bridal party, too. I am sure that the others are feeling a bit shocked as well. Think about the people she assigned dinner for 20+ to.....
I actually thought the same thing; she got the luck of the draw with breakfast; because lunch and especially dinner will really be costly
Kara, I will add a few more of my own cents to the mixture (and this even being from studying Wedding Consultation), what she is making you do is not only tacky, but down right rude, and certainly poor Bridal Ettequette(even to save her money from her own Wedding Budget). I could see if you as the Bridal Party were throwing her a Bridal Shower or Bachelorette Party then yes, feeding those guests would be appropriate, but not for the whole weekend, one meal or not.
I will even say from personal experience from my DH's and my own wedding which was probably more on a tight budget than what your friend is having in
TN for 20+ Guests, sincewe knew we couldn't afford to put at least a tasteful
reception together to thank our immediate families only to spend more than what we could put together that we didn't invite anyone and kept it just as a dinner to ourselves (which was a gift from a co-worker). I wasn't going to serve speghetti, garlic bread, & salad as a Wedding Reception meal (cheap I know), since I knew they deserve better than that, and wasn't expecting my mom or DMil to do the cooking. That's why we are waiting to do something bigger with family and friends at Disney and pay for the whole thing ourselves and appreciate every hard earned penny into it and truely thanking our guests for being there and appreciated.
I think Wedding Guests, Bridal Party/Immediate Family/etc. deserve
better than that, and more importantly should feel appreciated for being there
by the Bride & Groom If not the parents if they're hosting it, not that is's an obligation of the Bridal Party to cook for the Wedding, unless
it is a gift on your part.
Uh - NO. Actually, what I want to respond is a resounding "Heck No", but in other language not looked upon well on this board! (for good reason).
Okay - let me get this straight:
1. You live in Indy.
2. The bride/bridegroom/both live somewhere in Indiana
3. The wedding is a "Destination" wedding - Tenn.
4. The bride not only wants you to buy your own dress, shoes, etc. (which is standard - and don't buy that "you can use it again later" stuff, you can't), but she wants you to feed HER guests so she can afford the destination wedding??????
5. She will then have a reception later so that people who she didn't care enough about to invite to her wedding may come and show their adoration with gifts?
Here's your options:
1. say no thank you. I signed on to be a participant, not a provider. The wedding couple usually feeds the wedding party.
2. Do it, suck it up, and plan a nice breakfast casserole and fruit, etc.
3. Do it, but be mean about it and buy some granola bars and a gallon of milk. Maybe some donuts?
Personally, I don't get the whole "I have to travel away somewhere to get married and then everyone has to show me how much they love me by caving to my demands, crazy though they may be."
Unless Grandma is elderly and lives where the wedding is going to be, I just don't understand the whole thing.
I honestly was going to go get donuts and milk!!! Yes, you hit the nail on the head!!!
You asked me to be in the wedding. You didn't have to go somewhere for your wedding!!!!
I wanted to say that you should talk to the rest of the bridal party, too. I am sure that the others are feeling a bit shocked as well. Think about the people she assigned dinner for 20+ to.....
Yes exactly!!!
The only bad part is one of her bridesmaids is her cousin that lives in Michigan, her aunt which lives in Ohio, and two other people I don't know!! I want to see what they think about it but I know it would get back to the bride!!!
I just don't get it. It's rude. A bridal shower, her "wedding" then her reception. I hate to say it but she's milking it for all it's worth at the EXPENSE of her friends.
Do you also have to pay your Way to Tennessee & your lodging?
I must have been a silly bride to have paid for my maid of honor's dress & having her hair done for the wedding.. Didn't have bridesmaids..
We also provided for all other expenses like tux rentals for the beat man & ring bearer.. Silly us..
I would have to tell her sorry, I can't afford to be in your wedding, It is costing me way too much.
(Like the cost of a trip to WDW that I would rather be spending the money on)
No, we don't have to pay we are all riding down together. Yippee. We are all staying together in a chalet. I think I'm going to go . But, she made the decision to go to Tennessee she can't complain about money. I bet a lot of people would love to go to a destination wedding, but it cost $$$$$
I just looked through my copy of Etiquette by Emily Post and NOWHERE did it describe the bridesmaid duties as feeding the wedding party...oh...that was under responsibility of the Bride and Groom...
I just looked through my copy of Etiquette by Emily Post and NOWHERE did it describe the bridesmaid duties as feeding the wedding party...oh...that was under responsibility of the Bride and Groom...
I would have to respectfully decline the request.
Thank you for looking that up!! She told me about this a week ago and I've been asking people about it. They all agree with what my fellow Passporter's have been saying. She should've been on the Bridezilla's TV show. I can still contact them probably.
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As a very recent bride -
We paid for our guests "welcome evening" - which was hors derves and non-alcoholic drinks; we paid for our rehearsal dinner for all bridal party members, significant others, children and out of town guests; we paid for the reception for 120 guests (w/beer and wine) - but every other meal - we expected our guests to get their own food (although we did make arrangements to be at hotels where breakfast was available as part of the block of rooms) and even provided a map of local restaurants near the hotels in the welcome bags. I paid for my bridal parties hair and mani/pedis too. I would say your friend is a little off her rocker and my polite response would be "have a wonderful wedding, however, unfortunately I won't be able to attend".
How close are you to this friend? I would just let her know that you won't be
able to do the duties assigned to you and that you hope her wedding is everything
she hopes it will be. If she presses you then I would tell her that you are spending
x amount already and don't feel like you can help with the meal.
Sometimes it's better to be up front and if you are going to back out you should
do it sooner rather than later.
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. But, she made the decision to go to Tennessee she can't complain about money. I bet a lot of people would love to go to a destination wedding, but it cost $$$$$
Danielle Harmon
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