The Great Disney Do-Over—PTR for Aug 2010 - UPDATED 8/2 - Page 10 - PassPorter - A Community of Walt Disney World, Disneyland, Disney Cruise Line, and General Travel Forums
As of January 1, 2019, we have closed our forums. This is a decision we did not come to lightly, but it is necessary. The software our forums run on is just too out-of-date and it poses a significant security risk. The server software itself must be updated, and it cannot be without removing the forums.
So it is with a heavy heart that we say goodbye to our long-running forums. They came online in 2000 and brought together so many wonderful Disney fans. We had friendships form, careers launch, couples marry, children born ... all because of this amazing community.
Thank you to each of you who were a part of this community. You made it possible.
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There are other changes as well.
Why? Well, the world has changed. And change with it, we must. The lyrics to "We Go On" for IllumiNations say it best:
We go on to the joy and through the tears
We go on to discover new frontiers
Moving on with the current of the years.
We go on
Moving forward now as one
Moving on with a spirit born to run
Ever on with each rising sun.
To a new day, we go on.
It's time to move on and move forward.
PassPorter is a small business, and for many years it supported our family. But the world changed, print books took a backseat to the Internet, and for a long time now it has been unable to make ends meet. We've had to find new ways to support our family, which means new careers and less and less time available to devote to our first baby, PassPorter.
But eventually, we must move on and move forward. It is the right thing to do.
So we are retiring this newsletter, as we simply cannot keep up with it. Many thanks to Mouse Fan Travel who supported it all these years, to All Ears and MousePlanet who helped us with news, to our many article contributors, and -- most importantly -- to Sara Varney who edited our newsletter so wonderfully for years and years.
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So we encourage you to stay in touch with us and your fellow community members wherever works best for you!
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I do applaud your decisions with your children and their allegries, about teaching them the world will not bend to them. They have to learn to function in the world.
...I went to a Special Education meeting at the beginning of the school year. ...I felt the whole meeting was about planning how to make the world understand and "bend" for their children. I feel my job is not only advocating, but also teaching my DD to live within the world we already have.
So sorry for the long reply and maybe at times somewhat seemingly unsensitive responses. But I dont mean them that way, by any means!! I just thought our views seemed similar and I don't find many parents out there who think as I do. I feel alone sometimes with that, and I can imagine you do sometimes as well.
Thanks for your thoughtful reply! I did not hear any of your words as insensitive. I love how you wrote that your job as a parent is to not only advocate for your child, but to also teach her to function in the world we already have. That sums up my perspective perfectly. All 3 of my kids have "issues" (ADD, ASD and allergies) that require us to do advance planning, to alert others of the concerns, and require them to have an understanding of their challenges and to anticipate them in situations. We will not always be there.
We are also very fortunate that their issues are "minor" enough that they do not require accommodations in every setting. (With all three areas, our kids could be much more impaired). We are grateful for the support DD has had in school (for ASD) and feel she would not have progressed as far as she has without it. We know that careproviders and schools will need to be extra-vigilant about other DD's dairy allergy. DS with ADD (thankfully) does not require any accommodations (besides meds at home) and parents who work very hard to keep him organized.
Thanks again for reading my TR. It makes me feel amazed that people are reading with such detail that they connected to things I write.
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Yw!! I agree with your planning ahead, alerting others, and making them aware of their challenges. I loved that last part. I do as I can to make accomidations for my DD but sometimes you just have to cuz you have to and thats the way the world is. While I believe that we have come a long way when it comes to any special needs, I also believe there is a point when parents become so accomidating they are actually hurting their children (unbeknowst to them). Just as I imagine children who have sight problems, if their parents accomidate every single thing, and are always helping...instead of teaching and make self reliant, that is a shame. Or (totall different note here) but my cousin with his tatoos and piercings, he believes that the world shouldnt be so judgemental and not stereotype him. While I agree, to a degree, I also have said to him, "Thats all well and nice, but that isnt realistic. That is the world we live in, you have to live in it or accept what comes with your "forward" thinking." I dont believe it's a perfect world, but it's the one we live in.
I have come to realize and do the same growing up with an illness. I have Chronic Lyme Disease. I push myself, but at a certain point I know and accept my limits and do what I can.
Your TR has made me connect with so many points. Very well done!
[QUOTE=OneLittleSpark;3301694] I do as I can to make accomidations for my DD but sometimes you just have to cuz you have to and thats the way the world is. While I believe that we have come a long way when it comes to any special needs, I also believe there is a point when parents become so accomidating they are actually hurting their children (unbeknowst to them). Just as I imagine children who have sight problems, if their parents accomidate every single thing, and are always helping...instead of teaching and make self reliant, that is a shame. Or (totall different note here) but my cousin with his tatoos and piercings, he believes that the world shouldnt be so judgemental and not stereotype him. While I agree, to a degree, I also have said to him, "Thats all well and nice, but that isnt realistic. That is the world we live in, you have to live in it or accept what comes with your "forward" thinking." I dont believe it's a perfect world, but it's the one we live in.
QUOTE]
I completely agree with you... and understand just how UNPOPULAR that opinion can be.
Piggybacking on your cousin's tattoos---Working with teens, I know many kids who believe "freedom of speech" and "freedom of expression" should mean "freedom from consequences." Just because you have the right to do something, does not guarantee you that others will react they way you wish them to. I want kids to weigh their choices while considering the reactions/consequences and decide if they want to express themselves more than they want acceptance. You may not be able to have it both ways. Funny how that can apply to many situations...
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DH came up with a list of reasons why this plan may not work, including, that it seemed silly to leave DHS now that the crowds had dissipated and it would be hard to wake up early enough to make the am EMH. I agreed, but we would have to give up something…In the end, we decided to try it. We would have an early wakeup call, but if anyone NEEDED to stay in bed, we would visit a different park that next day.
With his support, we presented the idea to the kids. They were all on board with leaving DHS to try to make the goal of an early wake up for MK. DS was bummed that he never got to do any of the “fun” rides at MK and DD(5) just wanted to be where the princesses are. (The littlest happily goes along with anything). They knew their part in this was following directions, not bickering, and getting to bed as soon as we returned to the resort.
We passed the double stroller to another family as we exited DHS and made our way to the buses (which were very manageable at this time of evening!).
The kids complied beautifully with bedtime and went to sleep quickly.
DH and I, however, stayed up late to “process” the day…(we call it “processing…” others may call it “arguing…”). I was not the only one who was having tough feelings that day. While I was anxious about our kids, he was feeling stressed about keeping up a façade with his family that he is laid back (he is not) and that are kids are perfect (because if they aren’t, it means that we are bad parents). To him, I seemed controlling and anxious. To me, he seemed dismissive and willing to “throw me under the bus” to save face with his family.
We both had our pressures, and those pressures where often in direct conflict with the others’. We were not operating like the strong couple/team that we usually are. We were both trying to manage the behaviors and needs of our kids, but in different ways. It had been hard to really communicate during this trip and we were (both) making lots of assumptions. Although two hours of “processing” (with lots of tears) would not make it any easier for us to wake up in the morning, by the end we had a better understanding of each other.
Next: Will 3 hours of sleep be enough to make the plan work?
Hello fellow Minnesotan! Wow, it seems like you had quite the first trip last year. I am sorry it didn't turn out so well, especially since you had done research and were trying to do the right things.
I am very happy to hear about meeting your "fairly godfather." I think we all need the reminder to relax and enjoy sometimes. I wish we had done more of that on our last trip. It was busy and I was determined to make sure we did all that we wanted to do and sacrificed some of my sanity to do it.
I hope your upcoming trip is so much better. Looking forward to hearing more!
Reading your report is reminding me of what a friend once said to me: At Disney with kids, you have some really high "highs"" , but also really low "lows", too. It can be a trip full of emotional extremes depending on factors like heat, hunger, sleep, dehydration, family "togetherness", and just general frustration. Sounds like you are in a low spot. Hope as I read on it gets better! MK at Thanksgiving can put the heartiest to the test. More please!
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15 total family trips with stays at the Poly, AKL, Wilderness Lodge, Beach Club, Swan, Dolphin, POFQ, Pop Century, All Star Music, Movies & Sports, and Coronado Springs.
[QUOTE=stubekis;3302351]Reading your report is reminding me of what a friend once said to me: At Disney with kids, you have some really high "highs"" , but also really low "lows", too. It can be a trip full of emotional extremes depending on factors like heat, hunger, sleep, dehydration, family "togetherness", and just general frustration. QUOTE]
Maybe your husband and mine are related! He has a hard time recognizing Nick's limits. Nick is not typical and never will be. He has learned many coping strategies and can "blend" in more easily now with others but his problems have not magically disappeared. It is very frustrating when you seem to be the only one who gets this....
Maybe your husband and mine are related! He has a hard time recognizing Nick's limits. Nick is not typical and never will be. He has learned many coping strategies and can "blend" in more easily now with others but his problems have not magically disappeared. It is very frustrating when you seem to be the only one who gets this....
Agree. I feel I work very hard to make sure Hannah can "blend" and so sometimes she appears "normal." I am thankful for this, but it does not allow me to drop my guard.
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He has a hard time recognizing Nick's limits. Nick is not typical and never will be. He has learned many coping strategies and can "blend" in more easily now with others but his problems have not magically disappeared. It is very frustrating when you seem to be the only one who gets this.... 
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