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Old 12-28-2011, 09:52 PM   #1
mickeyforlife
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AM I A BAD WIFE!

my husband does not like DW at all. don't know why but he doesnt. but he's also a workaholic. I have went to DW the last four years with my sister. my husband joined us on our last trip but wind up flying home early because he didn't like it. now here's the thing. my husband is building the huge work shop because its his dream. he's paying for it as he goes, has been working on it for 7 years. he has spent thousands of dollars on it. I never spend money on anything. save my money to go to DW each year. now some of my family members is telling me I need to take a year off and just do what ever he wants to do. and I don't want to be unfair, but we have took a cruise, he didn't like that. gone to the mountains, he didn't like that. the beach he stayed in room watching TV most of the time and took him to DW and he didn't like that. Now to my question, am I being a bad wife that I still want to go back to DW with my sister next year? I look so forward to that. but I know I'll catch alot of flack from my husband as well as my family. what's your opinion's. thanks guys.
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Old 12-28-2011, 10:46 PM   #2
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I don't see a problem with taking a vacation without your DH. If his "vacation" is working on his workshop, then you get to have your own kind of vacation. For the last few years, I've taken a short trip to WDW by myself. I feel so much better when I get back, and I'm not so grumpy about the day to day trials of family life. I think I'm a better wife and mom because I get a chance to get away and reflect on how lucky I am. And it gives DH a chance to miss me a little so he appreciates me more when I come back.

Don't feel guilty. You deserve a little vacation as much as anyone. And if someone doesn't like it, it's their problem, not yours.
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Old 12-28-2011, 11:26 PM   #3
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I don't see a problem with taking a vacation without your DH. If his "vacation" is working on his workshop, then you get to have your own kind of vacation. For the last few years, I've taken a short trip to WDW by myself. I feel so much better when I get back, and I'm not so grumpy about the day to day trials of family life. I think I'm a better wife and mom because I get a chance to get away and reflect on how lucky I am. And it gives DH a chance to miss me a little so he appreciates me more when I come back.

Don't feel guilty. You deserve a little vacation as much as anyone. And if someone doesn't like it, it's their problem, not yours.
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Old 12-29-2011, 04:37 AM   #4
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I don't see a problem with taking a vacation without your DH. If his "vacation" is working on his workshop, then you get to have your own kind of vacation. For the last few years, I've taken a short trip to WDW by myself. I feel so much better when I get back, and I'm not so grumpy about the day to day trials of family life. I think I'm a better wife and mom because I get a chance to get away and reflect on how lucky I am. And it gives DH a chance to miss me a little so he appreciates me more when I come back.

Don't feel guilty. You deserve a little vacation as much as anyone. And if someone doesn't like it, it's their problem, not yours.
I agree!
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Old 12-29-2011, 08:51 AM   #5
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I'm sorry if your DH is starting to give you a hard time about taking vacations without him. (Not much you can do about others family members). It sounds like going places is not his thing but it shouldn't stop you, if you like to vacation and you can afford it. But, you guys have to have a heart to heart and get on the same page about it. Tell him how you see his hobby being similar to your vacation in terms of time and money spent on it. See if he sees it that way as well.

I take trips to WDW without my husband. I go with my DD16 at least once a year. He is often the one suggesting it. He likes WDW just fine, but it's not a place he wants to go every year. He likes the beach better....and we do that every year (timeshare in HHI).
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Old 12-29-2011, 09:20 AM   #6
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I see nothing wrong with some alone time/vacation time. DH does not like to go to Disney every year. Why I on the other hand would go every chance I could. We have already said. When the girls get old enough, I will more than likely take them myself. Don't feel guilty doing something you enjoy,
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Old 12-29-2011, 09:42 AM   #7
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My DH is not a fan of Disney either, but he has come with me a couple of times. He likes that I go alone with my DSis a couple times a year, because it gives him alone time for his music. It also makes me happy and a better wife / mother when I get home! It sounds like it is more the extended family giving you grief. Don't listen to them!! Work it out with your DH what works best for the two of you! Let him know you are happy for him that he has his outlet in being able to build his dream workshop and you know he needs "his" time there, and that you appreciate that he is happy for you to have your alone time too!! It is no one else's business how the two of you enjoy your marriage!! It is important to spend time together yes, but if that time is at home together because that is where you are both happy, then so be it!
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Old 12-29-2011, 12:11 PM   #8
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I would go where you want to go!
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Old 12-29-2011, 12:18 PM   #9
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It sounds like he is doing his "thing" and you are doing yours. Your vacation and how you spend money is your business - not the entire family's.
(Does HE have a problem with it or are you just thinking that he will because family members seem to?)
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Old 12-29-2011, 01:58 PM   #10
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He doesnt said much about it except when we are around family i think one of the things that bothers him even though he doesnt say much about it, is the fact i take my sister with me and i pay for it. But my sister has had a hard life and stuggles every day just to survive so this is the only thing she gets to do all year and couldnt do that if i didnt pay is that so wrong
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Old 12-29-2011, 02:13 PM   #11
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Is there a place he's ever mentioned that HE'D like to go? Have you asked him to really think of someplace? Maybe things are fine the way they are and he's happy. But maybe not. Maybe in having him really figure out what HE'D like to do you might both discover something totally wonderful you could do together! Does he like sports? Maybe take in a pro game, maybe hunting or fishing? Visit a LL Bean or Cabelas or something. My Dh doesn't have hobbies, so it was hard. He hated the idea of WDW for years til he went and I'm lucky in that he loves cruising with me. But he also LOVES to hike, which I don't especially love, but will do it because he loves it. We feel like the time spent together is what makes the vacation, not the destination.
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Old 12-29-2011, 03:14 PM   #12
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Ask him if there is somewhere he'd like for both of you to go. Would he like going to WDW if you did the parks and he went golfing, did the Richard Petty experience, fished, or any of the other things available?
I'd look for a compromise - and remind him that he gets his stress relief and happiness in his workshop, while you get it in WDW.
The heck with the rest of the family - who cares what they think? It's between you and your DH.
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Old 12-29-2011, 05:20 PM   #13
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If vacationing is not his thing, I see no problem with going to Disney by yourself.
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Old 12-29-2011, 05:26 PM   #14
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Another vote for going to WDW if he doesn't want to go
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Old 12-30-2011, 08:12 AM   #15
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I say, go for it!!!
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