Scary or a great idea? Invisible Boy/Girlfriend, a new online service enabling you to create the ideal lover and text him/her even About This Page:

[Her Dotness]

I think I'm embarrassed that this wildly popular service which allows singles to create an "invisible" perfect lover is based in St. Louis. Just when I think Missouri is a pretty nice place to live, I learn something unsettling about the state--like this.

For $25 a month, you can create characteristics, interests, appearance and even name your ideal romantic partner. The service originated as a means for adult singles being nagged by family to settle down to provide relatives with "proof" of a supposed romance. Since you get so many texts per month with the service, when parents or acquaintances hassle you about having no marriage prospects, you can show them your texts from Mr. or Ms. Invisible. Presumably, this will lead to their leaving you alone about your lovelife.

Rather than the texts being computer-programmed, they come from actual people employed to reply according to your specifications. In short, to be the perfect person for you. Except, you may be texting several different people since the service contracts with various workers. For your safety, your cell number is not directly accessed by any of those playing the role for you but rather is handled similarly to PayPal.

I find the idea somewhat weird even though this kind of service might have been really helpful to me after being divorced when I was years out of practice at meeting and dating. Such a service might offer a good way to revive rusty flirting skills.

See what you think here:I paid $25 for an Invisible Boyfriend, and I think I might be in love. - The Washington Post

[jimmymac]

I think it's pretty scary but I bet an awful lot of people sign up, even at $25 a month

[Thomhazel]

I think this is mega creepy and sad

[Her Dotness]

Then again, I'm wondering how this is all that different from Cast Members acting as Disney characters.

Creating your ideal lover and having people play the part for you really is pretty much the same sort of fantasy relationship. Just as you know that the handsome guy you meet as Prince Charming is a roleplayer, you'd certainly know that your "Jennifer Aniston" or "George Clooney" isn't any different. Even if you gave the person a believable name like Cassie Thompson or Justin Snyder.

Except, I'm wondering if doing this might be emotionally hazardous for people with psychological problems. It seems like something that could become as addictive as alcohol or drugs.

[SheLovesAriel]

From your description it sounds like the modern form of Party lines or those call in phone numbers where you can talk to "sexy", "beautiful" people that they use to (still do?) advertise at 2:00 AM --- so I imagine it will attract the same sort of clientele. Instead of making phone calls and paying by the minute, you get texts and pay monthly. In all cases, you have absolutely no idea who you are really interacting with - it is all inside your head. Also similar to meeting people over the internet and getting hot and heavy with a stranger in a private chat room somewhere. Or even those psychic call in numbers.

Plus it seems sad that you have to go to that extent to silence your family and friends -- deception? Really? That is some healthy family dynamics going on there....

I do not agree it is similar to character meet and greets at Disney. That is live theater. You are interacting with an artist in a professional capacity face to face.

Now if Disney offered a service for a monthly fee where you could "chat" virtually with a fairy tale character 24/7.....

[Her Dotness]

Originally Posted by SheLovesAriel

Now if Disney offered a service for a monthly fee where you could "chat" virtually with a fairy tale character 24/7.....

Yup, that's my point about Invisible Boyfriend, really no notable difference. It, too, is interacting with an anonymous person pretending to be a character.

I do agree, however, that it says something unpleasant about family functionality if an adult feels it necessary to deceive relatives in this fashion.

[PhilsEagles08]

It reminds me of when Raj was falling for Siri on Big Bang Theory.

I don't find it any more disturbing then the 1-900 #'s that were out there. Actually, I find it really scary when I think more about it.

What if a man/woman started using it & to tick off their husband/wife/girlfriend/boyfriend/etc. & their significant other began to get extremely jealous not knowing it was just a service?! God forbid the angry spouse got wrapped up in jealousy & murdered their love one over it?! I can totally picture regarding something crazy like this online.

[EddieCVS]

Something is really wrong with this!

[JackieB]

I'm single and find this very creepy.

[GingerJ]

It doesn't sound scary to me, but kinda sad.

[DebiDebiDebi]

Originally Posted by GingerJ

It doesn't sound scary to me, but kinda sad.

I agree. It's just sad to me that people feel they have to make someone up rather than telling relatives and friends "I'm single and I'm fine with that, so, back off."

[luvnwdwgal]

It's scary in the sense that "what is this world coming to that we're inventing fictional people and pretending to be in relationships with them". How weird is that!

[Teresa]

Originally Posted by GingerJ

It doesn't sound scary to me, but kinda sad.

This. Yes. I don't understand why people can't just tell their family "Look, I'm single right now and it's okay with me. Just be happy I'm not seeing a different person every night!"
I'm always telling my girls that you can't decide what your loved ones are like, you have to decide for yourself what you like about them and what you're willing to accept as part of them, even if you don't like it. The idea you can now make a customized boy/girlfriend is sad. How are those same people going to be able to then find and form relationships with real people when they have this 'real' person that is perfect? I can see it impeding some people in forming real relationships.

I'd never pay for that -it's a huge waste of money and resources.

[Huntermom]

I think it is sad and still speaks to the fantasy that marriage is all important. I was married for 40 years but don't feel my children need to get married or have a relationship until they are ready (both my boys married at 29).

I was always very discouraged to hear mother's brag about their too young daughters having a boy friend. To me, the longer you wait, the more likely you are to marry the right person. At 21, I had no idea what a good spouse entailed.

[Her Dotness]

I guess I'm in the minority in regarding this service as possibly very helpful to someone widowed or divorced who feels unsure about dating again. Having a fake relationship that is safe could be a way to ease back gradually into dating again.

I think the service might offer very necessary self-protection for people whose families refuse to accept them as they are, whatever their reasons for not marrying. Yes, it would be deceiving the family, but it might offer a smokescreen enabling such a person to have some peace.