New parenting issue: deceitfulness (same DD and DH may have been right!) LONG - PassPorter - A Community of Walt Disney World, Disneyland, Disney Cruise Line, and General Travel Forums
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Old 05-17-2004, 01:19 AM   #1
graygables
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New parenting issue: deceitfulness (same DD and DH may have been right!) LONG

Which I *hate* when that happens!

I have recently learned that my 15yo DD has been being extremely deceitful, sneaky, and under-handed. Her DBF called *me* a few weeks ago to ask me about her talking to another boy from their virtual school everyday for 2 weeks (he found out thru the school grapevine). Apparantly, she has been calling this other guy late at night (and e-mailing and chatting online which is a *HUGE* no-no for her). When he brought it to her attention, DD told DBF that he "talks to other girls" which he said there was one who was just a friend and he quit talking to her when my DD told him it bothered her.

I had no idea this was going on until our $600 (yes, you read right....$600) cell phone bill arrived. Granted it was for 2 months, but $400 of it was hers. I hit the roof (needless to say) and she is paying for it, but *still*! I told her no more conversing with this other person (I don't even know him, we have rules about these things) esp since she has a boyfriend.

She has been caught in several serious lies over the years (bipolar,type II) so DH and psychologist suggested that we try a keylogger program. We ran it for an hour while she was supposed to be doing schoolwork yesterday and not only did my honors history student get a 54% on a history exam, but she spent 50 minutes (of an hour) in 4 different chat rooms (frequently using her real name and the name of our school district! ) as well as checking e-mail accounts I didn't even know she had (set them up at my parents' over the summer, I've learned) She knows that all of these things are strictly verboten (due to prior offenses) and to make matters worse, she is selectively deleting her computer history (doesn't know about the keylogger yet).

I knew she could lie, but I didn't realize that Little Miss Holier Than Thou (another long story!) was being quite this deceitful. I feel so sorry for her DBF b/c they are going to have to break it off before he gets in any deeper, since she is clearly still "hunting" and using him as a boyfriend "cover" until she finds something else, which is just *LOW* to me (she sent this other boy an e-mail just today about how jealous she is that he's interested in another girl...she's going to be a stalker before it's over with!)

She lost the use of her laptop computer months ago and is now limited to the "kid computer" in my office, but with homeschooling the other 2 as well, I can't be in there hovering all the time. I'm at a loss. I told her tonight that if she ever goes in another chat room, I'm closing her cell account and she will have no phone. I also told her that she would lose driving privileges, the ability to purchase a car, and even her job if the deceit continues, but she just pretty much sent me on a mission trip to Hell (you know the look I mean!)

I never even *thought* about sneaking out or doing anything like this in high school and my oldest is certainly nothing like this. I have no experience dealing with it, nor does anyone in my family, so does anyone have any suggestions? Ideas? What would you do in this situation?

I appreciate any and all feedback (and you can send me on a "mission trip", too if you think I need it! )
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