Survivor Amazon Week Two Recap About This Page:

[Moley]

The PMS Story: The Worst Three Days You Can Imagine

Couch Passportatoes! Survivor could use a good dose of the Learning Channel tonight. So let's marshall up our favorite daytime shows and help these gals and guys out. They are not doing well out there in the jungle with no TV and no Ty Pennington and Amy Wynn to build their huts. So let's look in on these bad three days and see who had the worst case of The PMS Story. [img]images/icons/frown.gif[/img]

The Bedding Story

It doesn't get any better this week for the Women of the JumbleDew Tribe. They have made no progress on their shelter. Pouring rains threaten their fire. They have no food except for burnt "maniac flour" as Jenna the Swimsuit Model calls it. Meanwhile the men have an acceptable roof over their heads and are clearly winning in tonight's episode of the Bedding Story. Their tree limbs are tightly bound and raised from the ground, while the women's platform is sagging in the middle. Yep,that goes along with a really bad case of PMS. So what's to look forward to in the first reward challenge?

The Baiting Story

Soggy JumbleDew women and high and dry TopBookie Men gather round Jeff as he tells them what they are playing for in this very first reward challenge. Will it be a Thai style feast? Will it be a nice flock of chickens and their tasty popcorn feed? Will it be a hot shower and seeing your Mom over dinner on a yacht on the river? Unnh-uhhh, this is a big reward! Tonight, Mark Burnette, producer of Survivor, is pulling out all the stops and offering up a jar of bait. Good old fish entrails replaces the nachos and Mountain Dew of old Survivor episodes. Will this PMS story never end?

The challenge consists of blindfolding all the survivors except for one 'guide' who will shout out instructions for their team to go fetch giant puzzle pieces in the brush. Joanna is chosen for the JumbleDew Women and Butch the motivational principle is chosen for the TopBookie Men. They're Off! Joanna's voice is loud and clear as she herds those sistahs through their paces and brings it on home. Butch is struggling with names and that is pretty bad when "Hey You" fits most every guy in a blindfold. He does shout out the 'hey you' in a very cheery voice, however. The women gather their pieces and put them together before the men can say 'great big gobs of greasy grimy grouper guts.' Mmmmm doggies, take home the bait, girls. [img]images/icons/grin.gif[/img]

Trading Faces

Now that the first challenge is out of the way for tonight, it's time for the really good stuff of fights, intrigue and who can be the dumbest by ticking off the most people. Back at the TomBookie Tribe Roger is debating with fellow straight guy Alex about gay people. Who knows how many gay people are looking on in their tribe while they are doing this? Rob comments on camera that he is looking for possible alliances against Roger. Aha! I knew Rob was scheming to get all the 'leaders' out of his way. The men's debate pales in comparison to the PMSing over in JumbleDew.

Joanna's loud and clear guide voice is now keeping everyone awake at night as she freaks out over the Immunity Idol and its sacrilegious implications against her faith. We now know Joanna is watching Friends instead of Survivor each week or she would have known an idol was involved before she tried out for the show. While Christy tries to catch up with the nighttime chatter, she doesn't know Joanna is walking by when Jeanne tells Christy about the Idol Gossip. Christy exclaims, "That's so stupid!" And Joanna hops over to her faster than a tree frog on a blue tail fly. She immediately raises her loud and clear guide voice to even higher decibels and just in case Christy's aid isn't picking up that sound, she waves a large hand in Christy's face. That did it. Christy starts shouting back and it is a clear verbal mud rasslin' moment.

Junkyard Bars

Just when you think Christy's boat is sunk, fate steps in and plants something at the bottom of the women's crate. The Mystery Item we all saw in previews is *gasp* a Granola Bar!



One of my best chuckles from last week was when Lil Marcie Mouse said maybe Kel from the Outback sneaked into camp and put it there! The sight of even a smidgeon of carbs sends the JumbleDew clan into a frenzy. They blame and deny and interrogate and spy. Jeanne plants the notion that Janet must have done it. One of them grabs the wrapper with tasty granola gummy still inside and throws it on the FIRE! What are they thinking?! [img]images/icons/confused.gif[/img] They're hungry and the only meal to date has been burnt maniac flour and an eighth of a goldfish. Richard Simmons would not be proud of this carb burning effort.

Full Mental Challenge

Tree Mail reveals that tonight's immunity challenge will be a game of recall. The humbled men, with two big L's emblazoned on their foreheads, trudge into the challenge with two losses behind them. The women don't look like big winners all muddy and cranky. Jeff tells them they have two minutes total to go into a mock-up of an Amazon native village and memorize as much of the surroundings as possible. When time's up, Paige comes out to reveal Hildy has covered all the walls with grass. Oh, oops, sorry, wrong show.

When time is up, Jeff starts into ten questions about the village. A member of each team comes up and has to answer on their own with no help from their teammates. The men take the lead by knowing how many pigs and how many rungs on the ladder there were. The women never catch up, even when they can show they know how many hammocks there were and how many maniac cakes were fryin' in the pan. TopBookie wins the Immunity and the women get to go back and think about who they will send packin'.

Trauma

Just when Christy is safe as all suspicion is on Janet for the Great Granola Sneak, she starts in with annoying all her tribe again. She decides to get busy when the others are taking a break and then accuses them of being lazy. This makes even Jeanne and Deena mad at her. And Jenna and Heidi, who really are lazy, are really steamed.

Christy's Bad Day continues at Tribal Council when Jeff asks her to speak out and the poor, foolish girl really does. She says she feels excluded all the time, making Jenna really defensive because she truly has excluded Christy all the time. Finally, the meow mix subsides and the vote begins.

While You Were Voted Out

The typical Survivor tease commences so that we see the written vote of Christy who votes for Jenna. We see Joanna has voted for and misspelled "Krystie." We see Janet hold up her accuser Jeanne's name and Heidi selects Janet. So we know 4 people got at least one vote apiece. It could be any one of them. Do any of the rest of you wonder how it is Jeff picks the exact votes we just saw on camera as the first votes out of the pot? He's better than Penn and Teller! It comes as no great surprise that the Granola Packin' Granny has to go packin' herself. Janet gets 3 more votes and out goes her torch. Jeff says grimly to the women, "I hope tomorrow brings a much needed change."

With Janet and Ryan now gone we have to say goodbye sadly to the Couch Passportatoes who traveled along with them. [img]graemlins/wavin.gif[/img] (Psssst, Janet45, sweetie, that's your cue). Although we will miss all y'all so much, we know you will be out there at the Amazon Hyatt Regency burning up Jeff Probst's Visa card for all of us! And maybe you can even have lunch with Jeff himself. We'll call that the -

Yeah, Baby Story!



Kisses! [img]graemlins/love.gif[/img]

[ 02-21-2003, 12:05 AM: Message edited by: Moley ]