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Old 09-13-2005, 08:02 PM   #1
disneyknut
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uneasy feeling

WARNING LONG VENT & ADVICE REQUEST..

As some of you may recall I was VERY hesitant letting Jamie go on a 6th grade school trip to Washington DC last year .. it was NOT school sponsored but was sponsored by a teacher.

Well, we did let Jamie go & he had a great time except for NOT buying any of his family souveniers ( did you know all items in DC cost $30???.. according to Jamie that is!! ) He still talks about seeing the president, going to Arlington cemetary etc..

Jim & I have a VERY open relationship with our kids & they usually are very open & tell us everything.. ( We are proud to say all 3 are star students & very respectful kids ) Anyway, Jamie came home from school about 2 weeks after the trip & told me that he heard Tyler & Kristi were kissing in one of the hotel rooms at the DC trip.. I told him to not believe rumours but I was concerned.. I asked several other parents & their kids too had heard that rumor.. I was upset but still didn't have confirmation until a few days later one of the girls that roomed with Kristi told me & her Mom that indeed they WERE kissing.. I was ANGRY then but I didn't know what to do AFTER the fact & I knew several parents confronted the teachers who went on the trip & they assured them it was handled...

During the last month of School Jamie came home with MORE news from the famous DC trip.. rumor has it Tyler wasn't only kissing he ordered Pornography on the TV in the room.. I find this hard to believe as I would think the hotel would be able to put some kind of block on the TV & wouldn't he need a Credit card??

Fast forward to yesterday, Brendan is now in 6th grade & brings home the paper for the DC trip... He really really wants to go & I would like for him to go.. but I would like to confront the teacher/sponsor about what happened last year & see what his response is.. do you think I should??? He's kind of gruff & hard-nosed & I think if I bring up the kissing he will deny it happened & make me angry..

BUT.. today Brendan comes home from school & tells me that Mr K ( the sponsor) told the kids that if anyone acted up on the DC trip he would leave them there.. I know he is just trying to put fear in the kids to behave but Bren takes things literally & is now a little upset I assured him that Mr K would be in lots of trouble if he did leave ANYONE even tho it's not school sponsored the school is aware of it & allows him to hold the parent meetings in the school (meeting is tomorrow)

Now what do I do??? Bren really wants to go & I know his group of friends are all great kids AND we did let Jamie go last year but I'm worried of the lack of supervision last year..


thanks for letting me vent a little...
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Old 09-13-2005, 08:20 PM   #2
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Re: uneasy feeling

You could bring up your concerns at the parent meeting. Maybe no one thought to put a lock on the movie purchasing in the kids rooms.

Would you or your DH be able to be a chaperone on this trip?
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Old 09-13-2005, 08:53 PM   #3
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Re: uneasy feeling

I would suggest being a chaperone also. I have on MANY trips.
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Old 09-13-2005, 10:02 PM   #4
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Re: uneasy feeling

I would try and chaparone on the trip and discuss your concerns at the meeting. that things work out!

Amy
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Old 09-13-2005, 10:06 PM   #5
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Re: uneasy feeling

I think it would be a shame to not let him go, but at the same time I can certainly understand your concerns! Before I had Josh I would have thought worrying about something like that was just plain silly, but now I can't imagine sending him off on a trip like that even though I know one day I will have to. I agree with the others that perhaps you can check on being a chaperone. If not, I think it is definitely something I would discuss at a parent meeting. I know my 7th grade S.S. teacher took a group to DC and there were several parent meetings prior to leaving to discuss how everything would be handled. If this is something your sons teacher does I think it would be a great opportunity to bring it up. I think I would have a hard time turning my child loose if I didn't know that all my concerns had been answered.
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Old 09-14-2005, 07:18 AM   #6
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Re: uneasy feeling

[ QUOTE ]
I would try and chaparone on the trip and discuss your concerns at the meeting. that things work out!



[/ QUOTE ]
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Old 09-14-2005, 08:10 AM   #7
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Re: uneasy feeling

[ QUOTE ]
You could bring up your concerns at the parent meeting. Maybe no one thought to put a lock on the movie purchasing in the kids rooms.

Would you or your DH be able to be a chaperone on this trip?

[/ QUOTE ]
My thoughts exactly. And I'd be surprised if Tyler had acutally ordered up porn on the hotel TV. It's rather expensive and definitly would have shown up on the hotel bill. And most hotels would turn off that feature for any room that a child is in. Good luck with your decision.
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Old 09-14-2005, 09:28 AM   #8
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Re: uneasy feeling

If you are concerned about the lack of supervision and are unable to chaperone, you shouldn't send him.
I would do the same thing if it were my kids.
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Old 09-14-2005, 10:55 AM   #9
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Re: uneasy feeling

I agree with the others on bringing up the concerns and possibly gling on the trip if it's possible. Good luck Ann and let us know what happens.
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Old 09-14-2005, 11:53 AM   #10
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Re: uneasy feeling

I wouldn't worry so much. Any time you get kids together, there are bound to be a few who do things that they wouldn't ordinarily do, just to show off. The most you can do is try to make sure that your son is not one of them.

The thing to do, though is talk to your son. Make sure he knows what is and is not acceptable behavior. Let him know that he also needs to report any misbehavior to the chaperones. (most kids won't though, they don't want to be known as snitches)

When my daughters go on trips with their school, the understanding is that if a child mis-behaves, the parents will be called and they are responsible for coming and getting that child, that day. When the kids went to Europe in 5th grade, that was a huge threat!
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Old 09-14-2005, 12:06 PM   #11
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Re: uneasy feeling

If it were my child, I'd be chaperoning the trip. I always go on their trips that take them any distance away from our school district. They actually like it that I do that (at least for now). Is that an option for you?
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Old 09-14-2005, 12:28 PM   #12
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Re: uneasy feeling

Another vote for chaperoning!!! (if it's possible)

Good luck, Ann!
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Old 09-14-2005, 12:48 PM   #13
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Re: uneasy feeling

Chaperoning would be my first choice. If that's not an option, I would definately speak with the teacher about your concerns. If he can't put your mind at ease, your son shouldn't go. One of the hardest things I've ever done is allow Zoie to go to Australia and New Zealand this past summer (She'd just completed sixth grade.). I was able to send her in good conscience because the trip's leaders answered everyone of my silly and not so silly questions and had a system in place for every type of thing you can imagine. Even romance...and yes they even discussed pornography as well, in hotels, the channels were not available to rooms housing the delegates. If the chaperone of this trip doesn't have a routine in place for such things, I'd be concerned. The kids were also given very clear guidelines as to their behavior. And I'd want to know what would have to happen for a child to be sent home from the trip...I've chaperoned our school's sixth grade trip out of state, and it's a wonderful way to bond with your child and enjoy kids this age. They are so much fun!
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