GRRRR DH vent! Seriously, I'm responsible for THAT to? - PassPorter - A Community of Walt Disney World, Disneyland, Disney Cruise Line, and General Travel Forums
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GRRRR DH vent! Seriously, I'm responsible for THAT to?
DH's insurance at work is changing. Last week, I had to attend their employee meeting as DH was helping at another location and could not be there at 6pm. I had to leave MY work early to attend. Their insurance is going from 4 plans to 2 with one being like the one we currently have, but higher deductible and a Health Savings account, which is new. We have to choose one, and I said to stay with the one that was like what we currently have. I thought that was the end of it and he would go into work and do whatever he needed to choose the plan.
Today, I get
DH "Hey, don't we need to choose a plan?".
Me: Um, yes!
DH: Well did you choose it at the meeting?
Me: No.
DH: Why didn't you! Where's the paperwork?
Me: By your papers. (of course it's not there now.)
DH: It's not "my" insurance, it's ours.
Me: It's your company. I do not know how you enroll for your programs. But, I think you have to go online.
DH: grumbles
All this drama and all he had to do is go online. Registration does not start until Mid Nov. He didn't even go over the paperwork they gave me and it was sitting by his stuff for over a week.
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Michele
I'm living the dream 20 minutes from Disney! Next trip...tomorrow. Follow me on instagram at ShirtsByShell
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Sounds typically male to me. I got DH to sign up for on-line access for his (as he is the only one who can do so) and then give me the access information, so I can manage it. It's just easier than constantly asking him if he's done it. With his plan, you have to choose each year at the end of November for the following calendar year, what coverage you want.
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I hate to say this, but it sounds like the problem is of the "male" variety. I was just having this discussion with a friend of mine yesterday because it seems every one of my married girlfriends has the same exact issues that I do. Here's the real question though...why should we have to accept these, let's call them hiccups, just because they're men???
I hate to say this, but it sounds like the problem is of the "male" variety. I was just having this discussion with a friend of mine yesterday because it seems every one of my married girlfriends has the same exact issues that I do. Here's the real question though...why should we have to accept these, let's call them hiccups, just because they're men???
They do it because they're used to us coming along and fixing it or doing it for them.
My theory - if you tell your DH he isn't loading the dishwasher correctly, doesn't fold the towels the way you like, doesn't care for the kids like you - why do you expect them to make ANY decisions on their own? My sister's husband had to take one of their kids to the doctor for the first time ever a few weeks ago because Dsis was out of the country - and their oldest is 18! Why hadn't he ever done it before? Was he incapable of understanding "Child sick, take to doctor, make better."? No - DSis just always thought she was better at it than him. He also doesn't load the dishwasher, wash clothes, clean tubs or toilets, or mop floors - because DSis says she does it better and it's easier to just take care of herself. They both work 40-80 hour weeks and always have.
I'm not saying that is the case here, I'm just saying that it seems to be a trend I see a lot in marriages.
Does my DH clean, do the laundry, or care for the kids the way I'd like him to? NO. But I just let it go. The house is livable, the clothes are clean, and the kids aren't dead or maimed.
That said: I'm the one who signed us up for DH's company's insurance because he isn't as computer literate as I am (and that's saying a lot). However, WE made the decision about what plan to go with, including a few questions HE had to take back to the rep. and ask.
We're a team, and we work together for the good of our family.
They do it because they're used to us coming along and fixing it or doing it for them. I'm not saying that is the case here, I'm just saying that it seems to be a trend I see a lot in marriages.
While I'll agree that your theory doesn't fit the case here, it definitely fits the mold of a lot of marriages out there. With that being said, my DH and I both split the house duties because just like you said, we're a team, and that works well for our family. I'm not going to lie and say I've never questioned how he cleans the bathtub, because I have, but for the most part I'm just happy to have a husband who's willing to help around the house. However, I do have a problem with the fact that because he's a man his memory seems to fail him all of the time.
Just like Michele said, she told her husband to go with the insurance plan that was similar to what they have now, but when it came time to actually select it, he seemed to forget what they had previously discussed. Here she's thinking it was being taken care of while he's wondering why she didn't sign up for it at the meeting even though they had a whole conversation about it. A lot of arguments could be spared if they would just listen to everything we are saying instead of tuning us out when they get the little bit of information they think they need to get by.
During my 33 years of marriage, I always handled the insurance even though it was often through ex's company. I do think it is a male thing not to do it. To me it wasn't worth arguing about. And when he left, he "forgot" to do the paperwork to keep DD on so I have been paying for private insurance. He does help with the expense and will have contributed half.
When I suspected his enrollment might be open again, I sent him an email to look into it. He just emailed me this morning that she will be back on 1/1/12. Did I have to remind him? No. But I'd rather put in the two minutes than pay for the next 12 months.
Michelle, I understand what you are saying, but be glad someone is on top of it.
Just like Michele said, she told her husband to go with the insurance plan that was similar to what they have now, but when it came time to actually select it, he seemed to forget what they had previously discussed. Here she's thinking it was being taken care of while he's wondering why she didn't sign up for it at the meeting even though they had a whole conversation about it. A lot of arguments could be spared if they would just listen to everything we are saying instead of tuning us out when they get the little bit of information they think they need to get by.
Exactly. Then to get mad at me because I'm not privy to how to sign up for HIS company's insurance. He didn't even bother to look at or even read the packet I brought home which listed the changes and both plan breakdowns. ---"Did I know that the deductible went up?" Yes! I told you!!!!!!
As to tuning us out, I have a funny story. When DH watches TV, When I ask him something, I can count to 10 before he turns and focuses on me. It's so noticeable that I have started counting out loud and he never asks or notices that I'm counting. Men!
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Michele
I'm living the dream 20 minutes from Disney! Next trip...tomorrow. Follow me on instagram at ShirtsByShell
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He didn't even go over the paperwork they gave me and it was sitting by his stuff for over a week.
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I was just having this discussion with a friend of mine yesterday because it seems every one of my married girlfriends has the same exact issues that I do. Here's the real question though...why should we have to accept these, let's call them hiccups, just because they're men???
With that being said, my DH and I both split the house duties because just like you said, we're a team, and that works well for our family. I'm not going to lie and say I've never questioned how he cleans the bathtub, because I have, but for the most part I'm just happy to have a husband who's willing to help around the house. 
However, I do have a problem with the fact that because he's a man his memory seems to fail him all of the time. 
A lot of arguments could be spared if they would just listen to everything we are saying instead of tuning us out when they get the little bit of information they think they need to get by. 
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