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As of January 1, 2019, we have closed our forums. This is a decision we did not come to lightly, but it is necessary. The software our forums run on is just too out-of-date and it poses a significant security risk. The server software itself must be updated, and it cannot be without removing the forums.

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We want to personally thank Sara Varney, who coordinated our community for many years (among so many other things she did for us), and Cheryl Pendry, our Message Board Manager who helped train our Guides, and Ginger Jabour, who helped us with the PassPorter-specific forums and Live! Guides. Thank you for your time, energy, and enthusiasm​. You made it all happen.

There are other changes as well.

Why? Well, the world has changed. And change with it, we must. The lyrics to "We Go On" for IllumiNations say it best:

We go on to the joy and through the tears
We go on to discover new frontiers
Moving on with the current of the years.
We go on
Moving forward now as one
Moving on with a spirit born to run
Ever on with each rising sun.
To a new day, we go on.

It's time to move on and move forward.

PassPorter is a small business, and for many years it supported our family. But the world changed, print books took a backseat to the Internet, and for a long time now it has been unable to make ends meet. We've had to find new ways to support our family, which means new careers and less and less time available to devote to our first baby, PassPorter.

But eventually, we must move on and move forward. It is the right thing to do.

So we are retiring this newsletter, as we simply cannot keep up with it. Many thanks to Mouse Fan Travel who supported it all these years, to All Ears and MousePlanet who helped us with news, to our many article contributors, and -- most importantly -- to Sara Varney who edited our newsletter so wonderfully for years and years.

And we are no longer charging for the Live Guides. If you have a subscription, it's yours to keep for the lifetime of the Live Guides at no additional cost. The Live Guides will stay online, barring server issues and technical problems, for all of 2019.

That said, PassPorter is not going away. Most of the resources will remain online for as long as we can support them, and after that we will find ways to make whatever we can available. PassPorter means a great deal to us, and to many of you, and we will do our best to keep it alive in whatever way we can. Our server costs are high, and they'll need to come out of our pockets, so in the future you can expect some changes so we can bring those costs down.

Thank you, thank you, thank you for your amazing support over the years. Without you, there's no way us little guys could have made something like this happen and given the "big guys" a run for their money. PassPorter was consistently the #3 guidebook after the Unofficial and Official guides, which was really unheard of for such a small company to do. We ROCKED it thanks to you and your support and love!

If you miss us, you can still find some of us online. Sara started a new blog at DisneyParkPrincess.com -- I strongly urge you to visit and get on her mailing list. She IS the Disney park princess and knows Disney backward and forward. And I am blogging as well at JenniferMaker.com, which is a little craft blog I started a couple of years ago to make ends meet. You can see and hear me in my craft show at https://www.youtube.com/c/jennifermaker . Many PassPorter readers and fans are on Facebook, in groups they formed like the PassPorter Trip Reports and PassPorter Crafting Challenge (if you join, just let them know you read about it in the newsletter). And some of our most devoted community members started a forum of their own at Pixie Dust Lane and all are invited over.

So we encourage you to stay in touch with us and your fellow community members wherever works best for you!

Best wishes for a wonderful and magical new year!

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Old 10-14-2002, 01:02 PM   #1
TiggGrrrl
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Re: May I vent?

I agree with what everyone else here said. It's time he took responsibility for his life.

{{{hugs}}} and pixie dust to you Amy [img]images/icons/smile.gif[/img]
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Old 10-14-2002, 01:06 PM   #2
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Re: May I vent?

I'm so sorry you're having to deal with a difficult situation. I have a family member in a similar situation, and I have learned this: As long as you continue to bail him out, he will never take responsibility for himself.
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Old 10-14-2002, 01:13 PM   #3
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Re: May I vent?

So sorry to here you are in such a gut wrenching situation! My sister has been the same way her entire life. She would come begging for money to pay her auto insurance or buy groceries for her daughter to eat (in that case I'd go buy her the groceries and deliver them to her house, at least then I knew that my niece was getting nutritious food), but she always had the money to go out and to buy cigerettes. We had to quit "loaning" money to her and guess what? She got over it.
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Old 10-14-2002, 01:15 PM   #4
A. Monster
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Re: May I vent?

Thanks guys for your thoughtful and caring responses. I feel like I should find a way to get him the money, but it's true... if I keep taking care of him, he'll keep taking advantage. It drives my husband nuts because when we first got together, he worked 3 jobs so we could pay our bills and he doesn't understand how people can be so irresponsible with their money. It seems that since he and I both have really good jobs now and can take nice vacations our families think we're rolling in money, just waiting to lend them some. [img]images/icons/rolleyes.gif[/img] I just have a hard time telling people no, especially when I care about them. Thanks for lending me some back-bone. [img]graemlins/blush.gif[/img]
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Old 10-14-2002, 01:17 PM   #5
A. Monster
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Re: May I vent?

ARRRGH! Double post.

[ 10-14-2002, 01:41 PM: Message edited by: adonenko ]
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Old 10-14-2002, 01:36 PM   #6
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Re: May I vent?

I feel your pain. DH's whole family does this to us. We would only hear from them when they needed money. After 3 years, we have finally had enough. We are no longer their personal bank.(It's hard for us because there are kids involved)

Keep strong. They won't change unless forced to.

{{hugs}}
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Old 10-14-2002, 01:51 PM   #7
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Re: May I vent?

Amy, I truly feel your pain. The advice everyone gave you is right on...and I can tell that you know that you can't keep giving your dad money (I'm not even going to say loan...as it's obviously never coming back). At this point, it's really just a matter of coming up with the backbone to refuse him, and having the resolve to stick with it and take the fallout--no matter what.

It also sounds like this is becoming a problem issue between you and your husband, which is a MAJOR problem. We've had similar issues with family members and now we make a point to always sit down and discuss what--if anything--we're going to do. It makes it a lot easier to say that "we" decided, and drives home the point that you and your husband are a family and are ultimately accountable primarily to each other.

Good luck.
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Old 10-14-2002, 02:09 PM   #8
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Re: May I vent?

Amy, It's so difficult when it's family! Sending pixie dust for the wisdom you need!
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Old 10-15-2002, 12:14 AM   #9
A. Monster
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May I vent?

My father is 58 years old and behaves like a child. He is constantly borrowing money from my DH and I for rent, car payments, etc, and then when we visit him, he's got a new DVD, stereo equipment, and so on. He always promises to pay us back, but it never seems to happen. When I was growing up, he wasn't around much, and my mom's sister helped her support us kids. I've tried to maintain a good relationship with him, and we visit with him often, but any time we go out, we have to foot the bill for him. He wrote us a bad check as a wedding gift. But I must reiterate, he never fails to have new toys for himself. Well, this morning he emailed me to call him at home as it was an emergency. Turns out his car insurance was dropped for non-payment and he's afraid they're going to repossess his car if he doesn't get a new policy today, and he needs $400. Right now, we just paid for our trip and went through the bill basket on Sunday, so we don't have it in cash at the moment. He sounded like I was lying to him when I told him this. I'm at my wits end with this man! We went out to dinner and bowling on Saturday and paid for him!

ARRRGH!!! I just needed to get this out. [img]images/icons/mad.gif[/img]
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Old 10-15-2002, 12:29 AM   #10
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Re: May I vent?

Yipes, what a tough situation to be in. Logically, it sounds like it's time to tell him money doesn't grow on trees for you either. And now he's upset with you?! He's depending on you to be his emergency piggybank. Emotionally, however, it's a whole other ball game isn't it? [img]images/icons/frown.gif[/img] You want to keep a good relationship with him so how do you tell your father that his free ride is over? [img]images/icons/frown.gif[/img]

I'll send some Pixie Dust your way to try to soothe any ruffled feathers. ~*~*~*~*~*~*~
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Old 10-15-2002, 12:32 AM   #11
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Re: May I vent?

Well, not to sound cruel, but at 58 I think it is about time your dad took responsibility for something. If you continue to bail him out he will continue to take advantage of you. It is not your fault that he is not paying his bills and you should not feel guilty about not bailing him out this time.
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Old 10-15-2002, 12:34 AM   #12
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Re: May I vent?

Oh man, blessings to you in this case - typically money and family don't mix well. I'd be quite frank with him in letting him know that it's hurtful to lend money to him for emergency bills and then see new toys present in the house. Honesty is the best policy in this case - and always remember that tough love is sometimes the called for - it's how our Lord works with us sometimes to teach us lessons.

GOOD LUCK! You have my thoughts and prayers!
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Old 10-15-2002, 12:42 AM   #13
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Re: May I vent?

Gotta go with everyone else here. You are not responsible for your father. If he cannot disciple himself enough to pay his bills before he buys toys that is not your problem. If he needs money to pay for his auto insurance, you might suggest a pawn shop for some of those toys. DO NOT feel guilty because you cannot bail him out. Remember his lack of planning and budgeting does not create an emergency on your part. Tell him you love him, but the money is not available this time and probably won't be the next.
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Old 10-16-2002, 11:55 AM   #14
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Re: May I vent?

Amy,
Definitely a tough situation that your father is putting you in time and time again. I have to agree with the rest here --- he will continue to ask as long as you continue to give.
I know it is hard to say "no," but it sounds like you have more than surpassed your own breaking point with him. Just be strong and firm with him.
Sending pixie dust to you to help you get through this ordeal with him
Michelle
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Old 10-17-2002, 12:15 AM   #15
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Re: May I vent?

Amy, sending pixie dust your way!! I can't say anything that hasn't already been sent. But TINKN has a good point - if you do give him money, give or send the money directly to the place he says he needs it for. In this case, send the check to the Insurance company with his account number on it. But I agree with everyone else, you're his daughter not his bank.

{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}}
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