Question About Table Rules About This Page:

[krisk11]

It's just my dd & I and I must admit we usually only eat breakfast at the table and that is only during the school year. Every other meal is eaten on the coffee table.

[coffeechef]

No kids .. but I do have nephews that I have spent lots of time and meals with. WHen they were little, the rule I most often had to remind them of was ... Sit like a human .. not like a monkey. When oldest nephew was 4 yrs .. we were eating in Friendlys when he loudly burped. When I said ..... "you need to say "excuse me" .....he replied that you are suppose to say " Nice one, Pumba"
No rules on the foods we don't like... but manners are important and learning proper manners keeps them from being embarrassed when manners will count in the big wide world.
Have you ever had to eat at a table with an Adult who smacks their food, eats with their Mouth open, talks with a mouthfull of food and generally has poor table manners.
Oh and this is one that totally eeks me out.... blowing your nose at the table OMG.. please go do THAT in the bathroom.

[HiddenMickey]

Now you guys have me thinking I am a horrid example of a mother.
We eat most of our meals away from the kitchen and hardly ever at the table. We used to be kitchen table and everyone eat together people, before we moved into our current house 4 1/2 yr ago. I may have to rethink our new habits.

[Fortissimo]

Originally Posted by coffeechef

No kids .. but I do have nephews that I have spent lots of time and meals with. WHen they were little, the rule I most often had to remind them of was ... Sit like a human .. not like a monkey. When oldest nephew was 4 yrs .. we were eating in Friendlys when he loudly burped. When I said ..... "you need to say "excuse me" .....he replied that you are suppose to say " Nice one, Pumba"
No rules on the foods we don't like... but manners are important and learning proper manners keeps them from being embarrassed when manners will count in the big wide world.
Have you ever had to eat at a table with an Adult who smacks their food, eats with their Mouth open, talks with a mouthfull of food and generally has poor table manners.
Oh and this is one that totally eeks me out.... blowing your nose at the table OMG.. please go do THAT in the bathroom.

[Marybeth]

As a child, we always ate at the dining table or kitchen bar. Now that I am an adult and live in my own home, I tend to eat on a tray in front of the TV (I know, me bad)

[Gin]

We have an eat in kitchen, no dining room, so I ask my family to:
-Eat in the kitchen. (DH is the worst, always taking food into the living room!!)
-Use a napkin!
-Eat at least one fruit and one veg with PM meals--usually carrots and apples at lunch but for dinner we have cooked vegetables and whatever fruit is in season.
-Use the bathroom and wash hands before eating.
-Use utensils.
-Refrain from "bathroom humor", rude noises, and talking with food in one's mouth.
They are also expected to help set and clear the table and often to assist in food prep. <---This is something that I take for granted and I am surprised when I visit other families and "Mom" is the one doing all the work--food prep, setting, serving, and clearing the table. Are you kidding me? You wanna eat? You'd better work!

[OneLittleSpark]

Originally Posted by HiddenMickey

Now you guys have me thinking I am a horrid example of a mother.
We eat most of our meals away from the kitchen and hardly ever at the table. We used to be kitchen table and everyone eat together people, before we moved into our current house 4 1/2 yr ago. I may have to rethink our new habits.

Finally someone who makes me feal not alone.

My rules for eating are very different. My DD-6 eats a lot of meals somewhere other than the kitchen. Although, we do have dinner at the table probably 3-4 times a week. The determination on whether we eat at the table depends on these:
1.) We have company over. Which is at least once a week.
2.) DH is home for dinner. He works landscaping part time and those nights (especially summer) he is home at 8-9pm, works as long as there is daytime.
3.) I made a special or fancier dinner.
We eat breakfast and lunch at the table depending on what is served for the meal and who is there. I don't always eat breakfast, I know I am bad, so if DH isn't home and DD is having a bagel or english muffin or cereal, not a big deal to me. If I make bacon and eggs, pancakes, french toast or something, it's table time.
If DD is home at lunch time, again the same applies, like breakfast.

When we do sit at the table there are rules. Such as...
1.) using a napkin, which my DD has no problem with...though I need to work on putting it on your lap.
2.) Sit in your seat, which isn't such a problem either
3.) use your silverware, which is something we are working on. My DD has developmental delays including fine motor skills, so this is something we work on.
I am sure there are others too, that I am not thinking of off hand, "potty" humor isn't an issue with my DD.

Part of my reason for these lax dining rules, is that I do not have a particularly messy DD. I guess our few family meals have gotten her to a nice point with eating at a table. I have had strangers in restaurants come up to our table before they left, just to tell us what a wonderful DD we have, very polite, quiet and a joy to eat with. So I guess I am doing something right. Though, I do feel I need more table meal time.

As far as DD eating foods, I also have a lax approach with this as well. Eating in general has never been an issue. She would eat all day if I let her! After much thought, discussions with WIC and DD doc, the way I handle her meal is to make what I want, modify some if necessary...I.E. DD doesn't like Tacos, so when I make them I take out a little hamburg before I add seasonings and she has hers plain. That sort of thing.

I put a little of everything on her plate...but....I don't say a word about what she is eating on it until she says she is done. If I feel she hasn't eaten enough, I will "encourage" her to have some more. But if she is still resistant, I wrap up her plate and when she is hungry she can have that, NOT something else. As far as new foods or foods I know she doesn't like or seem to like. I put it on her plate and don't say a word. This has worked out marvelously! I count the amount of times I put something on her plate before she finally eats it. Let me tell you it took 16 times of putting one brussel sprout on her plate, until she finally tried it. Now she loves them!

It is honestly easier to list the things my DD won't eat, as she eats A LOT of things most kids won't. In fact, she was VERY bored with the DDP kids choices at WDW. Here is a sampling of her likes...

Beets, onions, mushrooms, black olives, brussel sprouts, brocolli, salad, fish, clams, scallops, yogurt, chicken, steak, pork,

She basically likes almost any vegetable and every fruit! Black olives are her fav! When I order pizza, she doesnt want plain cheese, she 99% of the time requests black olives and the other 1% asks for pizzaroni (her word for pepperoni).

I have adopted these rules as Dr. Phil says "Eating is the ONE thing parents can NOT control" you would have to physically force them to and at that, that is not exactly possible. So, I figure if I don't say a word, there is no power struggle and when she is ready she trys something. (Though, like I said I do use encouragement and she is honestly an awesome eater and likes to try foods).
I have also been told and read, no child will starve themselves. When they are hungry they will eat, when they are thirsty they will drink. So if I make dinner and DD says she isn't hungry, ok. Her plate is there when she is ready. (also, I must say she has never missed a dinner, bc of bedtime, she always eats it before then.) I give her milk and she doesn't want it. Ok, when your ready...your milk is in the fridge.
I am overweight and a lot of my family is overweight. I know part of my problem is overeating. I am working on that, but in the meantime...I prefer for my DD to use her own internal fullness scale. She knows when she is hungry and when she is not. Once those fat cells are formed they are there for life. Once you start overeating, it's very hard to stop.
I prefer to make scheduled healthy meals, for her to eat when she is hungry and offer nutricious snacks between meals when she requests something. I do not have set snack and meal times only approximations.
Breakfast- between 7:00 and 8:00, when she asks usually (like I said I dont eat breakfast)
Lunch- between 11:30 and 1:00
Dinner- between 5:30 and 7:00

When we eat in these times, depends on everyones hungerness level. If I make dinner at 5:30 bc I am hungry and she is not, she might not eat her plate until 6:30. I think it helps my DD likes lots of foods at room temp or cold. Hahaha!

[mcneal]

I am glad to see so many families "sitting down to dinner". When we were raising our 5 kids, dinner time was the best time to share our thoughts and feelings. I wish more parents would work on gracious manners. WHen you go out, kids are running around and using the chairs like jungle gyms. I am on my DGD for smacking and talking loud all the time. I personally don't mind eating anywhere in my house. But most of the others rules I've seen here I also try to do.

[mrsbruhaha]

Originally Posted by Teresa

"I don't like that" is not allowed. You will try it. You will try it every time it is set on the table, no matter what. (kids are required to try at least a tablespoon full of everything on the table)
If you try something and find it objectionable, you may not spit it out onto your plate, your napkin, the floor, or the table itself. Swallow.

[my 2 cents] i find these two rules in particular highly objectionable to me. my mom tried them with me, and the result was i became a very picky eater that's caused no small amounts of frustration in my adult years. i am not a parent and don't know how it works with others, but with me it's never a good idea to brute force me into doing something. asking nicely, and rewarding me we praise has had some outstanding results (my friend has discovered this, and thanks her her i am much more open to trying new things). my mom even tried the 'going to bed with no supper' trick on me...i opted to go hungry, which in my head was preferable to whatever it was she put on my plate. [/my 2 cents]

[RoslynStorm]

My grandparents got me to try loads of foods when I was a kid. My parents were far more lax on my younger siblings and now I'm dealing with trying to fix their awful eating habits before we take them to Disney.

I refuse to cater to "I only eat processed foods and tomato soup with ranch dressing." I'm willing to give my baby brother all the ranch dressing he wants, so long as he eats what is on his plate, but it certainly will not be chicken nuggets and fries the whole time.

To combat this, next week he is coming to my house for the whole week. We'll plan out all of our meals for the week and then go shopping for the food. I've found he eats new things more readily when he helps prepare them.

I do have table rules at my house: napkins on laps, chew with your mouth closed and don't you dare talk with it full (I hate this with a passion as I have relatives that do it and I find it revolting) and try everything at least once. The biggest rule is "This isn't a hotel". I make one meal and one meal only. Even my dh has learned I won't cater to him like his gramma did. If you don't like it, oh well!

I won't force my siblings to eat if they don't want to but I do request that they at least TRY it. Also, no dessert if you can't be bothered to attempt to eat the meal set in front of you, no snacks either.

[tkm1005]

Originally Posted by DisneyDana

Sounds perfect to me. As for the eating fruit at the table...totally agree. I had that same rule but my step son decided to ignore it and stood there in the kitchen eating his apple and the core slipped and fell on the floor where my little pug was standing and of course she grabbed it and ran, step son chased her, she swallowed and by the time I jumped up to see what was going on, I got there just in time for her to lose control of her bowels and go limp in my arms. She died because I couldn't dislodge the apple core. If he needs to know why fruit has to be eaten at the table, tell him about my little Suzy. It was the worst day of my life and still takes my breath away when I think about it. I'm crying even now. She was sooo sweet. She was only 2...I miss that little dog so much.

Wow - that is soooo sad and such a terrible chain of events.... Your step son must have felt terrible. I am so sorry for your loss.

[Ashli]

Originally Posted by OneLittleSpark

Black olives are her fav! When I order pizza, she doesnt want plain cheese, she 99% of the time requests black olives and the other 1% asks for pizzaroni (her word for pepperoni).

Your DD, me, and my DS need to go out for pizza sometime! We are black olive ADDICTS. Seriously, when people do that "What one food would you choose if you had to eat the same thing for the rest of your life?" question...I pick black olives. Every time.

[mcneal]

So very sad about your little pug! We just lost our grandpuppy in a house fire. He was my DD life and she is taking it hard but every day is a little easier.

I agree that children need to be encourage to try new and different foods. I don't think they should be sent away hungry if the taste something and hate it. When DS was 5, DH forced broccoli on him and it came right back up with everything else! He was always picky, we made him taste things and if he did not want it, he had a peanut butter sandwich. As an adult he eats more things but still is not very adventerous. The rest of my kids are pretty good eaters. My youngest DS will try most anything but is not a fan of many vegetables. I think they must have subliminal message either at school or in kids TV about yucky veggies! Why do so many kids dislike them?!? We have DGD (4yr) try everything. SHe is not picky but just doesn't like to eat period except candy. At my house, no candy unless you eat the healthy stuff first. I think that if we are exposed to many different flavors early in life we develop better taste buds. Kids should be offered more than nuggets and pizza and burgers. Just my humble opinion!