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If you miss us, you can still find some of us online. Sara started a new blog at DisneyParkPrincess.com -- I strongly urge you to visit and get on her mailing list. She IS the Disney park princess and knows Disney backward and forward. And I am blogging as well at JenniferMaker.com, which is a little craft blog I started a couple of years ago to make ends meet. You can see and hear me in my craft show at https://www.youtube.com/c/jennifermaker . Many PassPorter readers and fans are on Facebook, in groups they formed like the PassPorter Trip Reports and PassPorter Crafting Challenge (if you join, just let them know you read about it in the newsletter). And some of our most devoted community members started a forum of their own at Pixie Dust Lane and all are invited over.

So we encourage you to stay in touch with us and your fellow community members wherever works best for you!

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Old 05-21-2010, 04:28 PM   #16
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It is part of a standard greeting but if its family they possibly really do care. But just know if they stop asking you how you are....you can't start having hurt feelings that nobody cares. I have a family member that would get so upset with you for asking how they were but when we started getting tired of the attitude we were getting and stopped asking....she got all pissy. You can't have it both ways.
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Old 05-21-2010, 08:25 PM   #17
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Honestly, I appreciate it. It's not me personally usually, but every so often people will ask about my autistic brother. It means a lot that people actually care enough to take the time to ask, so try and think about it that way--maybe it's the only way they can try and understand or let you know they have you in mind.
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Old 05-22-2010, 11:19 AM   #18
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I agree, Things are getting a bit intense..
I don't think anyone really understood my question..
My Dad has many health issues & never stops talking about them.
I'm not one to constantly discuss my fibro, my pain & all the stuff that goes
with it. So when I am asked how are you feeling today I think about my Dad & his never ending complaining & I don't want to be that way..
That's it
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Old 05-22-2010, 04:07 PM   #19
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Originally Posted by Eeyore Tattoo View Post
I agree, Things are getting a bit intense..
I don't think anyone really understood my question..
My Dad has many health issues & never stops talking about them.
I'm not one to constantly discuss my fibro, my pain & all the stuff that goes
with it. So when I am asked how are you feeling today I think about my Dad & his never ending complaining & I don't want to be that way..
That's it

There are a lot of emotions that come with feeling chronic pain and you should never feel guilty for having any of them!! It is a valid question. Your intuition will kick in and you'll be able to figure out who is looking for the long and who is looking for the short answer. Also consider, is it a time that you could use a listening ear or would you prefer to move on to a different topic.

I remember getting upset when people asked because I spent so much of my energy dealing with my health that I just wanted to talk about something else. It was like they were raining on my parade by bringing it up. There were times when I was embarassed too because I felt like when people looked at me they only saw my disease. It took a lot of work for me to come around to being simply grateful that they cared and not read more into it.
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Old 05-22-2010, 05:48 PM   #20
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Really? I am still Loved????
Absolutely! I agree that it's great to have a place where you can ask the question and be cranky and still loved.
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Old 05-22-2010, 11:49 PM   #21
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There are a lot of emotions that come with feeling chronic pain and you should never feel guilty for having any of them!! It is a valid question. Your intuition will kick in and you'll be able to figure out who is looking for the long and who is looking for the short answer. Also consider, is it a time that you could use a listening ear or would you prefer to move on to a different topic.

I remember getting upset when people asked because I spent so much of my energy dealing with my health that I just wanted to talk about something else. It was like they were raining on my parade by bringing it up. There were times when I was embarassed too because I felt like when people looked at me they only saw my disease. It took a lot of work for me to come around to being simply grateful that they cared and not read more into it.
That is it ! You totally get it...
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Old 05-22-2010, 11:49 PM   #22
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Absolutely! I agree that it's great to have a place where you can ask the question and be cranky and still loved.
Thanks
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Old 05-23-2010, 12:21 AM   #23
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Old 05-23-2010, 08:39 AM   #24
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Old 05-24-2010, 12:05 PM   #25
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I'm just curious here and have a small question. For those of you who have Fibromyalgia, how would strangers know you have the ailment? I worked for a rheumatologist and was involved in a very large fib study and, unlike RA and OA, fib generally has no visible factors involved. So I guess I'm not understanding how a stranger would know you have the ailment and why they would feel compelled to comment on it. Is it something someone is hearing you discuss with perhaps family or friends? If so, they are probably just trying to show support and compassion. I know when I have a customer, not necessarily a friend, just a customer, who I know has an ailment I will ask how they are doing b/c I think its the nice thing to do. I don't think of it as overstepping my boundaries or being rude or nosy. And yes, if I ask, I do care about the answer. If I didn't, I wouldn't ask. I certainly would have never guessed I might be offending someone by showing concern for their well being. Now, would I walk up to a total stranger in a wheelchair and ask how they are feeling? No. But would I make a comment to someone in a large foot cast who is discussing the ordeals of trying to get through DW with those around her? Yes, I probably would say something like, "bless your heart, that has to be a chore. I hope it doesn't hurt too much". But only b/c it was being openly discussed around me. I suppose it just comes down to my thought that if you don't want people to comment, don't discuss it in public. And if it's an invisible ailment like fib, a stranger wouldn't know you had it unless it was mentioned. Just my humble opinion, though. I will be more careful in the future!
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Old 05-24-2010, 12:25 PM   #26
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Jodi,
To clarify, I am not talking about strangers, but friends & family (that I also clarified in post #19) that are well aware of my illness..
I know Fibro is one of many invisible illnesses, & as for people that don't know about my illness I don't have a problem with the "How ya doing" question..
I feel this is a excellent discussion here & we are all learning a lot of great info about how people feel..
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Old 05-24-2010, 01:00 PM   #27
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Jodi,
To clarify, I am not talking about strangers, but friends & family (that I also clarified in post #19) that are well aware of my illness..
I know Fibro is one of many invisible illnesses, & as for people that don't know about my illness I don't have a problem with the "How ya doing" question..
I feel this is a excellent discussion here & we are all learning a lot of great info about how people feel..
Gotcha!! And I agree, good discussion! It's nice to be able to discuss stuff like this in an open way and be able to clarify things w/out anyone getting upset or whatever. Very nice!
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Old 05-25-2010, 01:03 AM   #28
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That is it ! You totally get it...
Yup I agree too! I know family and friends care and that they are concerned but I don't wanna be "debbie downer" with my problems. My health brings me down enough so to keep being reminded how bad i feel just brings me down further. If I hurt and i am having an issue I will be the first to let you know until then please know I am as okay as I can be and leave it at that. After a while I give them the "bus" lingo (post # 10) and it dies down for awhile because they get I just don't wanna talk about it! LMAO
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Old 05-29-2010, 05:40 AM   #29
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A very interesting discussion!

I don't think that people who haven't any disabling illnesses or injuries CAN have much awareness of how difficult it is to live with such things day after day knowing you're never going to get better (or gradually worse.)

Hubby shattered one knee and the opposite foot in a fall off a scaffold some years ago. He walks with difficulty using a cane.

Over ten years later, his parents FINALLY get it that he doesn't want to go to buffet-only restaurants, because it's such a pain for him to have to explain which foods he'd like, how much and so forth to someone who loads and carries his plate for him. Not to mention that he feels less disabled if he's sitting at a table being served along with everyone else.

I think it took his mother's becoming unable to walk easily herself before either of them began to understand that having someone else dish up and carry your buffet plate for you is more difficult and demeaning than it's worth.

While I'm sure it was hard indeed for his parents to comprehend that their son's injury rendered him little more able than his arthritic 80-year-old grandmother, having to say over and over again, "No, we don't want to go to a buffet place," was annoying.
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Old 05-29-2010, 06:27 PM   #30
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If someone is sick or has long term health issues then I want to here the bad stuff if that makes them feel better in venting. I will listen and hope God is listening also. I will listen and send up prayers for that person. I hear someone who cannot do something and think that I should thank God for what spoons I have and what health I have. Maybe that person you talk to has someone in their life who told them something that will make your life better. A person on Facebook has an autistic kid, a lady has lupus, and one has family that has quirks like my family.

If they do not want to know then they can stop me. I try to keep everything bottled up tight as I been told that I am a liar and that I make up things about my health. I had a lady tell me that I know nothing about TMJ, snort, had it for nearly 30 years and won't tell everything here, TMI and downer to boot. For me I hide everything I can because people think you lie or you are not an expert because you are not as bad off as they are.

Summation is that I will listen and will answer when people close to me are genuinely asking much like they ask how your family, pets, and job are doing.
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