All this talk about the way children are... About This Page:

[mrsmaup]

dressing nowadays has me wondering...

Is it just me, or have you all noticed that parents seem to no longer be parents, but best friends to their minor children? Not in a good way. I have a very friendly relationship w/my 12 year old daughter. We have alot of similar interests. I sit through movies I dont particularly like because I enjoy spending time w/her, etc. HOWEVER, I am NOT her friend. I am her mother and I make sure that there is that line in the sand...

I have a cousin, who is a TOTAL wimp w/her 3 children. They are spoiled brats who have little respect for others and their entire self worth is wrapped up in their clothing brands, from their socks to their underwear to their jackets. EVERYTHING must be trendy and expensive. They are in so many different activities and have EVEYR NEW THING.

My 84 year old grandmother got dragged down there AGAIN to babysit and chaufeur a few of the children back and forth, because the parents could not be in the 4 different places required of them....

I asked my cousin once why she allowed them to be in so many things and why she spent so much money on them if it bothered her so much. Her answer was essentially that she was AFRAID OF THEM????????


WHAT??????????

Are we just weirdo's up here or what?? My cousin lives in So. CA and they are very into the "keeping up w/the Jonses" mentality, especially when it comes to their children... She was not raised that way, so im confused as to where it has come from w/her children.....

[AKLRULZ]

Nah, I don't think you are a weirdo. It's too difficult to be a best friend and a parent at the same time, but along they way I think we can ultimately become best friends with our kids when they reach adulthood if we bring them up properly and with love. I know I had a great relationship with my parents growing up - very loving, but also very instructional, structured, and I knew the rules to play by. Now I've got the most fantastic relationship with my parents - like you would a best friend - and it's the model we use in raising our three great kids! [img]graemlins/love.gif[/img]

[SarahJ]

I'm so with you guys on this. My parents were not my best friends growing up. They taught me values and respect and they disciplined me. And I think we had a good relationship and we spent a lot of time together as a family. What I don't get is parents who won't discipline their kids and let them get away with everything because "its cute" or "its a phase" or the dreaded "not my kid". Its not our job to be friends to our kids, its our job to raise them to be responsible, caring and respectful adults.

BTW - my parents and I have a great relationship now that I'm all grown up.

[mrsmaup]

You both are speaking my mind exactly!LOL!!

I am very close to my mother. I always have been, but up until the time I married and even when I have needed a motherly kick in the hinney since then, my mother was my MOTHER.

Now I can say that my mother is a very close friend, but I think that is because she was my mother and NOT my buddy when I was growing up; doubly hard for her because she was a widow at the age of 29 w/2 children(the same age mine are now [img]images/icons/shocked.gif[/img] ). She had to work a full time job and was heart sick over my dad's death for a long time. She could have taken the easy route and been our "buddy", but she decided to stick it out and raise us right. Im so thankful for that!!!

BTW, my above mentioned cousin, does not have a very good relationship w/her mother. Something to think about I guess.......

Im glad that we had this discussion. We are firm, but we think loving and fun parents. I was about to wimp out on the last week of my son's grounding, because one of the other boys who also got into trouble got off restriction this weekend and my son is the only one left w/a week of restriction. I felt bad for him, but my resolve has now been firmed up!LOL!!

I really wonder if we are not setting up our next generation as a bunch of crybaby wimps who dont like to be told no about anything.......

[chezp]

I'm not a parent, but what I have noticed with our teenage niece and nephew is that we still listen to similar music, watch the same movies at the cinema etc. I think the generation gap is getting a lot smaller than we were growing up - can you imagine listening to the same music as your parents did? I certainly can't! [img]images/icons/grin.gif[/img]

[Dumbo]

Our 2 were not raised to keep up with the Joneses. We gave them what we felt was important and that was attention. Keith swam, did track, and was basketball mgr. Scott tried track but found he liked being in the school play more. Both were in band. We went to every home and away swim meet, every home football game (had to support the band), home basketball games, the plays, band concerts etc. I did more than my share of away activities. DH did a lot of Boy Scout things with them. So many parents used the I work excuse.

Children are a product of how they are raised. I remember talking to one of the Boy Scouts. He was getting a pair of the "in" jeans. He thought that by having them he would fit in.

Scott did not fit in but he knew we supported him. He should have been named least likey to succeed at high school. He has succeeded. He has a college degree. Some of those that thought Scott was a looser haven't gone to college and have dead in jobs. Scott had a hard time in school but always knew we supported him.

Having all the toys does not a happy home make. Children need love and support more than all the toys. Never say you're to busy to get involved. Your children will thank you later and you'll meet some really great kids along the way.