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Old 08-30-2008, 11:46 PM   #1
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Guess who wants to join me in Jan at WDW?

Since hubby will most likely be working, it will be DDs and I on our own at WDW again in Jan (hopefully, I will be working). So...my MOTHER has decided that she needs to come with us. : Almost a month in a 1BR on the sleeper sofa at AKV? I don't THINK so. How do I get out of this one???
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Old 08-31-2008, 12:34 AM   #2
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Old 08-31-2008, 01:11 AM   #3
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Maybe tell her that between the girls schooling and your working, there won't b e enough room for another person.
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Old 08-31-2008, 05:49 AM   #4
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Relaxing on board the Magic. The trip report for our back-to-back cruises on the Disney Magic has started!
My Countdown Counting down to: 2019
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Old 08-31-2008, 08:16 AM   #5
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Old 08-31-2008, 08:19 AM   #6
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Old 08-31-2008, 09:27 AM   #7
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getting out of this one!!
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Old 08-31-2008, 09:29 AM   #8
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Tell her no. Good luck with whatever approach you decide.
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Old 08-31-2008, 09:38 AM   #9
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Tell her there is no room for her in your room and that she will need to get her own. If she is willing to do that , then let her . At least you will have your own space. Is there a reason why she feels she needs to join you. Does she enjoy Disney? Does she want to take you DD's to the Parks? I would just let her know that it would be too cramped for her to join your room. I know it will be tough and awkward. Think of things that would make her change her mind about going. Maybe invite her to come down the last couple days or something.
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Old 08-31-2008, 11:05 AM   #10
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Originally Posted by graygables View Post
Since hubby will most likely be working, it will be DDs and I on our own at WDW again in Jan (hopefully, I will be working). So...my MOTHER has decided that she needs to come with us. : Almost a month in a 1BR on the sleeper sofa at AKV? I don't THINK so. How do I get out of this one???
Well, you might decide to include her just to make her happy, but be sure you are OK with that.

I don't quite understand how someone can think they are able to invite themselves on your vacation. I'm sure she means well, and I guess she thinks she will be helping, but we have a right to choose who we vacation with.

Can you imagine deciding you are going along with someone else when they tell you they are taking a trip without being invited? "Oh, I'm coming along and, by the way, I'll be staying in your hotel room too!" I'd NEVER do that. I wonder, if she is that pushy with inviting herself, if she is pushy in other ways, which does not sound like fun travel to me!

People have plenty of reasons for why they choose who to vacation with. Sometimes plans happen and everyone can't be included for one reason or another. If others take those reasons personally when they are not intended to offend or be hurtful, we just can't control that! I'm sure this is not about HER personally. You probably don't intend to invite ANYONE along to share your one bedroom accommodations, right?

Don't be emotionally blackmailed if she reacts to the fact that you have made a choice that is reasonable. People who claim entitlements that aren't due them can leave others in a constant state of turmoil. You may have to deal with some pouting, some stories about what a selfish daughter you are, some retaliation or punishment. Honestly, if that is what you get, you made the right choice. If she were the type that took your feelings into account, I am guessing you'd be inviting her without being asked...could that be true?

Just be honest and be nice. Compromise if you can, but don't make an extended family gathering if that isn't what you'd intended.
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Old 08-31-2008, 11:05 AM   #11
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Old 08-31-2008, 11:19 AM   #12
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Just say no ( as the saying goes)
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Old 08-31-2008, 01:31 PM   #13
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I woudl suggest that she wait until you are settled and you have room for her to stay. As ti is is will be too uncomfortable in such a small space with an additional person. Thank her for her offer and tell her you are open to the idea (if you are) but that you'd appreciate it if she would wait until you can accomodate her. OR suggest she is welcome, so long as she creates her OWN living arrangements. And stress that she make them BEFORE she leaves, not wait until she arrives and gets settled on your couch.
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Old 08-31-2008, 01:54 PM   #14
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Seriously, Dawn, just tell her no, whats she going to do? Ground you? (JK) If she pushes the issue, tell her it really wont work out this trip- you are an adult- think of your kids and what is the better trip for them- she cant make life more miserable for your father and siblings, it sounds like she does that already-- come on- be strong ( and not codependent)
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Old 08-31-2008, 02:11 PM   #15
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Seriously, Dawn, just tell her no, whats she going to do? Ground you? (JK) If she pushes the issue, tell her it really wont work out this trip- you are an adult- think of your kids and what is the better trip for them- she cant make life more miserable for your father and siblings, it sounds like she does that already-- come on- be strong ( and not codependent)
I completely get that. My Dad and brothers and I have always danced around to keep her balanced. Even now, my Dad will call and ask me not to say something on a subject if he thinks it will set her off.

Here's the latest...she wants me to drive to OK after Christmas and pick up her and my Dad to take them with me to Florida (they will pay all the extra expenses, of course) so my Dad can "see all his girls together". He will then fly home to start back to school and she will fly home when she's "done". I just hemmed and hawed and will call Dad at work on Tuesday to work on a war plan to divert this ship! At least I have learned creative problem solving and diplomacy from my experiences with my mother...
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