Parenting Rant About This Page:

[poohmaine]

I am so angry and upset and depressed about my daughter's behavior, I need to rant a bit.

I cannot believe my daughter is such a self-centered, mean, greedy, horrible person. I love her very much, but to be blunt, I don't like her. She is very unpleasant to be with. Somewhere along the way, she has lost her moral compass, and I can't help but feel somehow responsible. I am her mother, after all.

She is 15, old enough to know right from wrong, old enough to know better, but instead she always seems to make the wrong decisions, and never seems to learn anything from the bad consequences of those decisions.

I know that in order to learn life's lessons, I have to let her make her own decisions, I have to let her fail. But I can't help but feel that maybe there was something more I should have done, that I could still do, to make her be a better person.

*sigh* The joys of parenting a teenager.

[Colexis Mom]

[poohmaine]

Thanks. I needed that hug!

[LBAK]

Tons of pixie dust heading your way. Boy, do I know what you're going through. When my DD was 15 I was at my wits end. To say she was tough was an understatement. Don't blame yourself, it wasn't you and it doesn't help. She is going to have to learn the hard way. By the time my daughter turned 17 she was human again and a pleasure to be with I still don't agree with some of her choices but I guess that's what makes up individuals. It really does get better. Hang in there...

[Belle*]

Well, I don't have a teenager but I was a horrible one myself. My Mom says if she could have sent me away when I hit 13 and gotten me back around 19 it would have been great! Not to scare you but just a thought - a lot of my problems and attitude during those years was because I had severe depression. You may want to consider having your daughter screened if her behavior seems completely off base, it may be something chemical at the root. Good Luck and continued either way!

[graygables]

I am *SO* right there with you!!! My DD just turned 16 and the one thing I've learned is that ITS NOT MY FAULT!!! I've done everything I know to do and all I can do now is sit back and watch her take the hits and offer guidance along the way. She has started saying, "I hate it when you're right" every so often, so I'm hoping she will return to our planet soon and get off the one where the sun revolves around her! She's always telling me how life "su@&$", but I'm the first to admit that it does...WITH her!!!

BTW, another thing I have learned on my parenting journey is that these people, who are our offspring, are indeed, "people" and we don't necessarily *LIKE* them, although we do love them. We don't like everyone we come in contact with, and as awful as it sounds, just b/c we share genes with someone doesn't change that. My 18 yo DD gets on my nerves. Many of her life choices annoy the heck out of me, and no, I don't have to "accept" the fact that she's a loud, rude, and obnoxious DIVA, even though I never raised her to be that way. My point is that you may never like your DD per se and that is completely normal and does not make you a bad parent! Here's some for you to feel better!

[vsonnier]

While I don't have kids of my own, I can sympathize because of what I put my mother through. She has told me so many times that she has always loved me because I was her daughter...but there were times when she straight up didn't LIKE me. Your daughter will learn to be responsible for herself...all you can do is point her in the right direction and punisher her when she gets too far off base.

[mouseinthehouse]

"This too shall pass." As a parent of a now 21yr old DD, been there done that. On the bright side, your daughter is developing normally! It really helped me to connect with other moms and dads with kids the same age---everybody is in the same boat. Hang in there and remember your a parent first-- maybe a best friend in the future.

[snoozy]

poohmaine, I have a 15 year old daughter and a 17 year old son, plus I've been working at our local high school for the past 8 years. Its not you. You said the most important thing you love her, so that means you are there for her through thick and thin. It does get better. I know so many teenagers sorry to say that don't have parents who love them or care for them in anyway, or the kids that are the parent to the parent, or parents that think that once a kid gets into high school they don't need them anymore, these kids want the kind of parents you are, loving and who give their kids boundries. It sounds to me like you are doing the right thing, hang in there.

[AngelOn9]

I agree with everyone here...you are doing the BEST you can. It is in fact VERY normal to not like your child at this age.

While I have no children, my mom was very clear to tell me on more then one occasion "I love you Am, but right now...I do NOT like you." As long as you let her know you love her...she will(hopefully)come back around.

Between the hormone changes, my self-consciousness, friendship fallouts, school, boys, and the constant peer pressure its a wonder I made it out of highschool half sane. Everything is the end of the world for her now and often times I'm sure she can't even see that in two years what she just "loves" now won't even be a thought.

She's a whirl of so many things right now. Just hold on for dear life as the teenage whirlwind spins. Hopefully the collateral damage is minimal.

[chezp]

I hope things soon improve for you.

[BritDisFan]

hang in there, it will get better .

Karen

[poohmaine]

Thank you all so much for your support. You have no idea how much it means to me. I really truly appreciate it!

[buckysmom]

Another ... and I'll add my voice to those who say this is normal-how she's acting and how you're feeling.
Just hang in there, be there for her (even if she says she doesn't want you to be ) and know that your DD will return once the hormone/teenage alien is gone

[Joanne929]

I don't have any special words of wisdom (luckily my DD is only 6 and I've not experienced any of this yet, and not with the boys either) but I do hope you both get through this difficult time!