a minor pity party; all invited!LOL!! About This Page:

[mrsmaup]

I know that God has a plan and that is why I am a military wife, and I am a proud wife who think my husband is a very honorable man who has sacraficed a great deal for a mostly ungrateful nation...

Its the pay thing....... He makes a decent wage compared to what he made 5 or 10 years ago and we have never gone w/o basics....

Sometimes I just wish he made alot more money. I am TIRED of bypassing a few things I really want in teh grocery store because I have a budget to stick too.

I wish I could just walk into a store and buy something w/o it being on clearance.

I wish I could go to a fancy salon and have my hair cut and colored instead of going to supercuts, coloring my own hair and having my 12 year old do my manicures!LOL!!

Logically I know full well I am being an unappreciative brat...I have more than most and lack nothing that I need.....After 15 years, we have finally made it solidly into the middle class and im thrilled with that.

Sometimes I just want a little more and it breeds discontent.....

I want a good room at Disney w/o worrying about saving for it; I want to let my kids buy whatever they want in the parks...I want to eat at a resturaunt more than a few times a year(vs a fast food joint)........

I find myself getting envious of family members, even though I chose my life...I am thrilled my little brother is doing so well financially, but I find the green envy monster poking his head out occassionally when I think about the house he was able to buy, compared to my Brady bunch special that we bought because it was so cheap....Will I ever get a new kitchen and floor(badly badly out of date and not in the best condition)....Will I ever be able to fly to everyplace we want to go, will I ever be able to take up expensive hobbies or buy the brand name cereals in the store?

So, maybe I decided to have my pity party today because I already had the cheese for the cold weather pity party!LOL!!

Am I the only one who gets selfish twinges about wanting more, even though you already know you have more than enough?

[simbarel]

I know what you're saying. My MoH and her fiance just moved into a big house...granted, they're renting it, but it still made me feel so remedial for my apartment-dwelling life. We really want a house, and put a bid in for one a few months back (2 bids, same house, both denied) but house prices in the area have skyrocketed in the past 4 years, and it's looking pretty grim. Luckily we're rent-controlled because apartment rentals have gone up with real estate...but the thing about that is that we're stuck in our apartment until we get it together and buy a house. I got myself back in school so I can get trained in something I might enjoy (paralegal) and more stable that pays better than writing and software testing. Getting into school gave me some hope..but the economy still scares me.

And then 3 weeks ago we rented Angela's Ashes, and I can't belieeeeeeve how much we have! I've seriously been on an upswing ever since I saw that movie. I'm proud of our 2-bedroom apartment and the area where we live. I'm also proud of my little Mazda Protege, and that I'll own it free and clear in a few months.

So...all's I can say is: Let's go rent Angela's Ashes for the big pity party! (or we could read the book...but I find the movie takes less time )

[disneyagogo]

Hmmm, I think that you are human to not be entirely happy about your living conditions. All of us have times when we get down about our situations.

Take my situation, my husband is deployed with the National Guard and has been out of the state since Nov. 2 and won't be back from Iraq until sometime March 2005 and won't be home for a couple weeks or months after that. Our financial situation is rosy and I have 3 trips planned to WDW to get through the months and we leave in 4 days for the Polynesian.

Still, I would do and give anything not to be worried about work and my husband. I have a great job that I enjoy mostly, but I want more time with my DS and less stress. I could quit, but my assistant left a couple of months ago and I haven't filled the position yet and feel obligated to my job. Having my husband gone magnifies the reasons why I want less stress.

I should be ecstatic about getting to stay anywhere I want at the World, but I would trade it in a heartbeat to have my husband back. So your pity party has another member if you'll let me join .

I hope your day gets better.

Take care,
Lynnette

[SarahJ]

I think everyone goes through periods of wanting more. Whether its more money, a better job, less stress, more time, etc.

DH and I are going through the home buying process right now. Our packet was just delivered to the lender yesterday. Talk about an eye opening experience. We've known that we have debts, mostly my credit cards from when I was a stupid college student. Its really forced us into a new way of living. We realized that we have many things that we just don't use or need anymore or that aren't practical now that we have a child. Those things are being sold off, donated and just plain gotten rid of.

I was able to take on some new responsibilities at work to increase my pay which is really helping. DH is working some side jobs and stepping up the work on his own business. That has made our financial picture a little easier to handle.

But what I've really gotten out of this the last few months is that somehow it always works out. We might have to compromise on some things but we make it work. The house we're buying is not our ideal home, but its a home. The yard is small, the garage is not DH's dream garage, the kitchen isn't as big as I'd like. But it will work and its a step in the right direction. Next time, maybe we'll be able to afford something a little closer to our dream.

So, I'll bring the popcorn and ice cream to the party.

[mrsmaup]

Lynette,

I will start praying for your dh. I have a list about a mile long of friends in either Iraq, or Kuwaitt; it stinks.

I understand totally about being the deployed wife; been there more times than I wish to remember!LOL!!

I think part of my pity party is just getting antsy about his retirement; wish it would come already and then dread not knowing what will happen next........As my fil would say: wouldnt be happy if they hung you w/a new rope!LOL!!

Part of the problem is that every time my husband has been deployed or TDY in teh past, I have compensated for my missing him and being lonely and worried, by buying unnecessary things.......... He has been gone often enough, that it is a fairly regular occurance..........

Okay, I will rent Angela's ashes and look back through my scrapbook from Turkey; I should perk right up..........

Or better yet, I will call my grandma and get her to remind me of what it was like to live in Texas during the depression..........

Again Lynette, praying for you husband; thank you both for your sacrafice for this country! I appreciate it and am proud of both of you!!

[Laura W.]

You wouldn't be human if you didn't have those thoughts from time to time. I think if we are really honest we will admit that we ALL feel like that. For one thing or another. The important thing to remember is that you really do appreciate the things you have and realize how lucky you are- that this feeling will pass. I'll tell you, this yucky weather doesn't help things does it? At least you have friends here to whom you can vent and make you feel better.
Laura

[Dumbo]

This is what I think:

They can have the big house, the fancy cars, the trips, the food and all the rest. Are they really happy? Do they have a mountain of debt? I know I wouldn't trade the little bit we have for all the fancy stuff. I stayed home with our 2 DSs. I wouldn't trade our lack of "stuff" for the experience of being with them and meeting all the wonderful kids they went to school with.

Oldest DS had a t-shirt that pretty much says it all: "He how dies with the most toys still dies."

Have a great day everyone!

[mrsmaup]

Thanks so much Dumbo. That is a real blessing to me today!!

[ProChristo]

Gee, Kristie, I agree that we all feel envious from time to time. Why else would God include "Thou shalt not covet..." in the Big 10??? He knows our sinfulness inside out.



Things were really tough when DH was still in Seminary. It was demanding coursework and I pretty much carried us financially, except for the first year we were married and he had an incredible ministry job. Of course that was the year he was suicidal, so you get the good with the bad, you know? I have no idea how we managed on my $8.50/hour I made back then, except that God must have been doing a big time fishes and loaves thing with our bank account!!! I wanted a house, (which we now have) I wanted to by non-generic food (haven't gotten there yet), I wanted to be a stay at home wife/mother (still working on that one!) but in the end I had to come to grips with the reality that is my life, and frankly, it ain't too bad.



Now I find my envy is for motherhood. We are now the last married couple in our church to not have kids, or have them on the way. That news was hard to take, this latest couple hasn't even been married a year yet. I wouldn't take away their happiness for anything, but that doesn't mean I'm not jealous of their blessing. I started some assigned reading for our adoption home study the other night, a book called "Dear Birthmother~A case for open adoption" which, BTW, has been a phenomenal read, and I got this big time guilt complex, thinking about all the prayers I've prayed for a child, and realizing that some other couple out there will go through immeasurable pain and heartache to give us a family. When I've been praying for a baby, have I been praying for another woman to experience such deep pain? For God to cause such deep pain? I guess the book made these birthmothers more real to me. Real women with real names and real loves and hopes and desires for their babies. I guess what I'm trying to get at here, is that in our lives, there are things we want more than anything, and either we believe things happen for a reason or we don't. Either God is in control, or He isn't. I believe, as I know you do too Kristie, that God is in control, and that every thing works out for the good of those who love Him, who are called according to His purpose. That's what the walk is all about. I've come to understand that adoption is a great redemptive illustration. Through adoption, God will take what is a really difficult situation, and turn it into something wonderful for both sets of parents. The letters I've been reading from birthmothers to the adoptive parents express such thankfullness and humility, it's been a tremendous blessing to read. I'm almost over the guilt complex, but it has changed the way I pray for our birthmom, who may not even be pregnant yet. Wierd to think about!



I don't know if this has been encoruaging, but that really was my intent. It's hard not knowing what the future brings, isn't it?