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Old 03-07-2014, 12:54 PM   #241
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Great introductions!!
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Old 03-07-2014, 02:34 PM   #242
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Nice intros.
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Old 03-07-2014, 05:55 PM   #243
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Great intros!
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Old 03-08-2014, 03:46 PM   #244
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Great cast! Your boys are growing so fast. Giants compared to your las TR
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Old 03-08-2014, 09:09 PM   #245
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Great cast!
Thanks!

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Great cast!!! And with some very handsome boys!!! . They are getting so tall!!!
Thank you very much! These boys are growing like crazy and they eat like that too.

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You have a beautiful family!
Aww! Thank you!

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Great cast of 'characters'!
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Great character introductions!
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Great cast of Characters!
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Great introductions!!
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Nice intros.
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Great intros!
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Great cast! Your boys are growing so fast. Giants compared to your las TR
Thanks! Yes, I feel so small now. It's like I'm shrinking.
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Old 03-09-2014, 06:03 PM   #246
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Very nice introductions! Your sons are very handsome
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Old 03-09-2014, 08:13 PM   #247
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Very nice introductions! Your sons are very handsome
Thanks!
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Old 03-11-2014, 01:40 PM   #248
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This is totally unrelated to my trip, so feel free to skip this post if you want. I just needed to vent.

First, a little backstory so you can fully understand the situation. A little more than two weeks ago, my sister had a minor operation. I went with her to the hospital the day of and stayed there as late as I could (till' I had to pick up the kids from school). Then for the next week, I went everyday to her house to be with her, help her, care for her. I'd go in the morning and stayed until her hubby got home from work at 1:30pm. I'd then go to the school to pick up my kids, get home, cook, do homework, study with them and take them to basketball practice.

She's been very uncomfortable, as the operation was in a very delicate spot and she's only gotten better this past week. Yesterday she went to follow-up with her doctor and lets say that when he checked her he kind of hurt her. In these couple of weeks she hasn't seen my kids but they've talked on the phone.

Anyways, half an hour I received a call from my mom. It started out as a normal call. She asked how I was and questioned me about a shirt AJ needs for an activity at school. (I had asked her yesterday if Dad had one I could borrow). Then the conversation started to change...

She asked if the kids had any exams tomorrow, as she knows they are booked almost every day. I asked her why and she said that if I could swing by my sister's house so that she could see the kids. That my sister was kind of down and that I hadn't taken them to visit her. I told her that it was true, that I hadn't gone to her house with them but that really I hadn't gone anywhere these past months. School is crazy! Well then she went for the kill...

She told me that I had taken time to go to Arben's niece's birthday on Saturday, that I could've easily went to my sister's house. I just sat there, dumbfounded, in silence with the phone in my ear. I told her that I couldn't believe she would say that to me. That ever since school started this semester I've been cooped up in my home, trying to get my kids to study to no avail. That this school year has been torture for me because my two youngest just don't want to do the work. And I refuse to let them and their grades sink. The only outing I have on weekends is to Church. And yes, I went out on Saturday; I went to Church first and then went to the birthday for two hours (it was at McDonalds). All the while thinking that my boys each had exams on Tuesday for which they weren't prepared yet.

At this point I was so upset I was in tears. I told her that she must think I have it easy because I'm a stay-at-home-mom, but nobody knows the struggles I'm having with Abniel and Adriel. To watch your kids, who used to be straight A students, start getting more B's and C's, not wanting to study, bringing incomplete work from school because he was talking or entertained in class. To say I'm stressed would be a understatement.

She apologized and asked me to try to understand her position. That she was just worried and stressed about my sister. That she wants us both to be ok and happy. I know she genuinely felt bad for making me upset.

I called Arben at work because I was so upset and crying and feeling like the worst human being in the world. When I told him what had happened, he was PISSED. I mean, he would've had my mother in front of him he would have said something in a not so nice tone. He did reassure me that I was a great mom and that he appreciated everything I did for him and our kids. And he also reminded me that my sister was well enough on Sunday to go out for a drive, she could've easily called to see what we were doing and maybe swing by. I tell you he was mad because he has seen situations in which my mom favors my sister and he doesn't like it. He hates that sometimes I'm treated different from her. But that's a whole other chapter.

Could I have done things differently, yes. Could I have taken an hour of any given day and taken the boys over, yes. But in the heat of the moment, when you're so involved in your daily routine, things just slip right past you. I am trying my best to juggle everything all at once. Sometimes, it's just so hard.

Sorry this was so long. And sorry for overwhelming you guys with my troubles. I just had to get this off my chest. Thanks for listening! (or in this case, reading)
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Old 03-11-2014, 01:58 PM   #249
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I am sorry that you were made to feel as though you had done something wrong. That is sad, and honestly it does seem as though it could have been avoided if your sister just simply asked for you to bring the boys by for a visit. It sounds as though you have gone above and beyond helping while she was recovering.

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Old 03-11-2014, 02:59 PM   #250
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If it's any consolation, my DMiL has treated me similarly. I know that she mainly thinks she is doing what is best for everyone, but the truth is she is just meddling (she calls it advising or suggesting). You are doing what needs to be done for your boys and that will pay off in the future. Sorry you've had this added to all you already carry.
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Old 03-11-2014, 03:10 PM   #251
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Old 03-11-2014, 05:17 PM   #252
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I'm so sorry you were made to feel as though you were in the wrong when you were actually overextending yourself to your sister. Frankly, I would not have thought of bringing active boys to visit a person recouperating from painful surgery unless the patient requested it. And how can she hold it against you that you went to your niece's birthday? You're doing the best you can to be a great mom, which is always going to be your first priority. I'm so glad that Arben immediately had your back and can see how hard you work for the family.
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Old 03-11-2014, 08:18 PM   #253
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Agree with what others have already said. Sorry you had I to deal with this when you've got so much pressure already. The one positive I see is that your sister missed seeing your boys (but better she had said something to you or dropped by in her drive).
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Old 03-12-2014, 01:11 PM   #254
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BIG HUGS...I am so sorry about this conversation. No one knows about another ones life when they don't walk in your shoes. Sadly sometimes family brings the worst out in people because they feel that since they are family they can say what they want.
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Old 03-12-2014, 01:57 PM   #255
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I am sorry that you were made to feel as though you had done something wrong. That is sad, and honestly it does seem as though it could have been avoided if your sister just simply asked for you to bring the boys by for a visit. It sounds as though you have gone above and beyond helping while she was recovering.

Thanks! I still feel as if I did something wrong. I was telling Arben last night that now I feel like my every move is being judged. Not a good feeling.

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If it's any consolation, my DMiL has treated me similarly. I know that she mainly thinks she is doing what is best for everyone, but the truth is she is just meddling (she calls it advising or suggesting). You are doing what needs to be done for your boys and that will pay off in the future. Sorry you've had this added to all you already carry.
Thanks for the pixies and kind words! You know something, I would expect this kind of situation between a mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. But to have it come from my own mother was really a shock.

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I'm so sorry you were made to feel as though you were in the wrong when you were actually overextending yourself to your sister. Frankly, I would not have thought of bringing active boys to visit a person recouperating from painful surgery unless the patient requested it. And how can she hold it against you that you went to your niece's birthday? You're doing the best you can to be a great mom, which is always going to be your first priority. I'm so glad that Arben immediately had your back and can see how hard you work for the family.
That's what I thought too. That first week, after the operation, was ugly. She was really uncomfortable and in much pain. I never thought of taking the boys to see her that way. Afterwards, life just kind of got in the way. Thanks for the kind words!

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Agree with what others have already said. Sorry you had I to deal with this when you've got so much pressure already. The one positive I see is that your sister missed seeing your boys (but better she had said something to you or dropped by in her drive).
I agree. Communication between my sister and me has never been 100%. We are 7 years apart and have always been at different stages in our life. She does confide in my mom and maybe she took it upon herself to try and remedy the situation. It actually ended up making it worse.

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BIG HUGS...I am so sorry about this conversation. No one knows about another ones life when they don't walk in your shoes. Sadly sometimes family brings the worst out in people because they feel that since they are family they can say what they want.
Thanks for that! I was telling Arben that if this was my own mom said and thought about me, I can't imagine what my in-laws think. Not that I care much, but still. People really don't know what goes on in your life. They just form an opinion based on what they see.
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