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Go Back   PassPorter - A Community of Walt Disney World, Disneyland, Disney Cruise Line, and General Travel Forums > PassPorter Villa: Sharing the Fun Together > The Family Room: Family and Friends
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Old 07-30-2002, 10:17 PM   #16
rescuesk
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Re: In law problems ~ solutions, ideas???

Ann,

I read your other posts but didn't reply at the time. I don't have too much advice...just some pixie dust for a smooth vacation.

One thing I did think of...I know you already have your AS ressies, but you may want to consider a "home away from home" resort (Villa, or Fort Wilderness). You could always tell MIL and SFIL that you want to be able to have a kitchen facility, etc for your three boys. This is also something to think about in the future, if they want to travel with you again.

Good luck with your decisions!

Sue
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Old 07-31-2002, 12:05 AM   #17
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Re: In law problems ~ solutions, ideas???

The more I think about it the more I want the 3 rooms... I'm going to try to convince DH to consider this.. I think AS will be too cramped!
DH wants to keep the rooms as they are & just lock the adjoining door...

Hidden Mickey- I really don't want to disapoint my kids by cancelling the trip & there is no way we could go without telling MIL. I can not tell my kids to lie to her & say we didn't go [img]graemlins/cry2.gif[/img] In the beginning I only invited HER as we have been to WDW with her & she was a blast but then she included her DH.. how could I tell her I didn't want him to come without hurting feelings & causing a big family mess!!!

Pat- No, I think if stepFIL pays he will be more likely to go off thinking "It's my money I can do as I please" If we pay he will feel obligated in some way ( & he hates that feeling.. he never allows us to pay for dinners at restaurants) so having him feel contrite might make him behave better.

One nice thing about this is we have something planned late every night she is there with us so we wont have much time in the rooms & like I said at the parks we are doing our thing & they can do theirs so I don't care about then.
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Old 07-31-2002, 12:11 AM   #18
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Re: In law problems ~ solutions, ideas???

What's the chances that the Magic will seep into every pore of his body and there will be no problems? Probably no chance, but it's wishful thinking. Do your kids sleep in the same bed at home? If not there is your excuse. You think they will sleep better if they have their own beds and you will need to get a third room.
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Old 07-31-2002, 12:39 AM   #19
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Re: In law problems ~ solutions, ideas???

How unfortunate that families even have to consider the possible impact of a situation like this...the numbers of reported (far less than the numbers of unreported) cases of abuse of children, adults and elderly say alot about society today [img]images/icons/frown.gif[/img] . As a social worker, I have to offer my opinion, and only my opinion!
There are a lot of good suggestions here and I'd like to offer another option. Go on vacation and enjoy yourself as if there weren't a concern that someone may act-up and sour everyone's trip. If your step-fil gives any indication of losing control in any way, confront him ---not about how he treats your mil specifically, but about what he is doing to your family. You have every right to protect your family in anyway necessary. Like others have mentioned, most abusers are control-freaks. They usually target one person; one who, for whatever reason, will allow the abusive behavior to continue by enabling. This man needs to know that you will not enable him to act like an ass, and that you are in control of your family and what they are exposed to, not him. He may respond better if you can make it clear that you are not trying to interfere (sp?) in his personal life or his marriage, but that you will not allow your family to be subjected to his behavior (and I use that term loosely, he is absolutely abusive to your mil, but the behavior in doing so is detrimental to your family). He obviously has no regard/respect for your mil, so addressing it as it relates to her is likely to get nowhere. But addressing it from your perspective, as a parent especially, puts it on a different playing field...one that he seems to know he cannot abuse on.
If he will not agree to take responsibility and act accordingly, separate from them for the remainder of the trip and enjoy yourself, knowing that you have taken control and set the boundaries between what is and is not acceptable for your own family.
Just my thoughts, no insult or offense intended toward anyone! BTW, 'you' can be either you or DH, whichever is most comfortable.
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Old 07-31-2002, 06:34 AM   #20
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Re: In law problems ~ solutions, ideas???

In Nov. 2001 we had 2 adjoining rooms books at ASS sports for 1 night. When we got there, our rooms were on opposite halls. So you might not get adjoining rooms after all!

I really hope your trip turns out alright. Please don't worry anymore about it! If he and your kids are so crazy about each other, he might be so caught up in the fun he forgets to be so mean!

I like the 3rd room idea too.

I will say a prayer for your trip & family!
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Old 07-31-2002, 09:30 AM   #21
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Re: In law problems ~ solutions, ideas???

Lisa-
Thank you for your advice! DH & I have already talked & we decided that he would tell his stepdad that he doesn't appreciate how he's acting in front of our kids & we wont tolerate the example he is showing to them especially my sons . We aren't going to mention anything about the way he treats MIL. She knew him for 25 years before they got together & knew how he treated his first wife (the same way he treats her, only first wife yelled back!) so she walked into this marraige knowing full well what he was like. Like I said previously she married for money.
I also liked your advice.. go & enjoy yourself & don't worry about a jerk! DH has been telling me this same thing since the incident happened& he has known his stepdad all his life so he knows him better than me...
Michelle- No, we are definitely getting 2 adjoining rooms.. When we booked we didn't have MIL name included ( & she wont be there for the entire time we are) & since we have such young children we are guaranteed adjoining rooms..
Like I said, I'm not going to worry about it & we will deal with the situation when/if it arises... Only 83 days until we are in the magic...
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Old 07-31-2002, 09:39 AM   #22
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Re: In law problems ~ solutions, ideas???

Glad to hear your DH is going to take a proactive approach toward your FIL. Hopefully that will be all it takes (at least for this trip) [img]images/icons/smile.gif[/img] . -HiddenMickey
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Old 07-31-2002, 10:22 PM   #23
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Re: In law problems ~ solutions, ideas???

you'll feel better about the situation and enjoy your trip more when you know that YOU have taken control of a potential problem! have fun!
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