Our friend's house burnt down and we don't know how to help:Updated with picture - PassPorter - A Community of Walt Disney World, Disneyland, Disney Cruise Line, and General Travel Forums
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Our friend's house burnt down and we don't know how to help:Updated with picture
We got a phone call last night that our friend's house burnt down to the ground yesterday. Fortunately they were away on vacation because it's a school break this week so they only lost possessions and not lives. We don't even know if they know about it yet; they weren't supposed to be back until Sunday. What a horrible thing to come home to. Anyway, we don't know what we should do to try to help them. All they have is what they had packed in their suitcases for their vacation. Eventually insurance will help them replace the necessities, but we want to help in the meantime.
Anybody who has been in their shoes have any advice about what they would appreciate?
Oh my goodness-what an awful thing to have happen to them!
Do they belong to any church that could be notified to take clothing donations for them as well as monetary? Do you have a version of the American Red Cross that helps out in disaster situations?
I'd gather up what I had that would fit and give it to them-offer them a couch to sleep on until they get situated. Have them over for meals or cook them something if they're staying @ a relative's.
We have been in this situation twice (one set of friends lost a house to fire, one sister-in-law lost a house to flash flooding). We took them to the local drug store and bought all the everyday necessities (toothbrushes, hair brushes, shampoo, etc.) that one needs to function daily. We also bought them basics for clothing (underwear, socks, pajamas, shoes, etc.). Keep in mind this was before gift cards, so taking them shopping worked best then. I suggest having someone go with them while shopping; as the shock of what has happened to them sometimes dampens the ability to think of all those everyday items one would need for basic "survival". Good luck to your friends, I do feel for them!
Donna - I had a good friend who's house burnt and they lost everything except the clothes on their backs. I know my friend was overwhelmed at first. Immediately they need a place to stay and basic clothes and personal items. Putting together a box with basic items is a great idea. Sox, underwear, toiletries, cleaning items are all needed immediately. I know financially my friend was OK because the insurance company picked up her alternate living expenses - first a hotel and then a rental house while her home was rebuilt. They also covered replacing much of what was lost, but she had to actually buy it all. I spent time shopping with her, stopped by with food and sometimes just to talk. I'm sending lots of pixies their way. It is such a hard experience to go through.
The house I grew up in burned to the ground-----it was a 2-family built by my great-great-great something grandfather---my parents still owned it but we were moving into another house (long story) so we did have someplace to live and we had our clothes, beds, etc. But even that was a dark, awful, lonely, horrible, heartbreaking, sad experience. So sorry for your friends, you could open your home to them so they don't have to go to an unhomey hotel. Or organize a benefit with your other friends? Something fun like bands or something---I realize that sounds like a big undertaking and maybe it's a bit soon, but it might give them something to look forward to---right now they're going to feel like something cut them off at the knee, and displaced. That is always our biggest nightmare, coming home from vacation to a gutted-out house. Your poor friends.
My SIL had this happen and, months later, the thing that upset her the most was the fact that they lost all of their family pictures and mementos.
When the dust settles and their basic needs are met, you might want to ask around all the neighbors and friends for copies of pictures of the family. Put together a scrapbook for them to replace a little of what was lost.
I agree with Eileen's suggestion. One thing that happened to us....my dad's friend went to the site to get the antique stained glass window that survived....and then he got in trouble! My parents couldn't deal with the heartache so they just sold the property, burnt house and all, and evidently the window was a noted part of the deal. The thought counted, but I don't want you to get in trouble.
My dad and step-mama's house burnt years ago - they are STILL recovering, both emotionally and financially! Everyone got out, so that's what really counts.
One of the toughest things to do for my dad was listing everything for insurance -
to be re-imbursed (and you're usually only given a small percentage of what you paid, unless you have wording that any items are valued at "Replacement" and not "Replacement value" - if your sofa is 10 yrs. old, they pay what it would cost to buy a 10 yr. old sofa, not a new one!!)
Anyway, to be re-imbursed for things, you have to know what you had. How many pairs of jeans, underwear, socks, glasses, cans of Lysol, pancake turners, rolls of TP, etc do YOU have? So, while Dad was trying to think it all out, I would make a list of EVERYTHING I used in a day, then call dad and go through the list - "Dad, did you have any glass measuring cups?" "Oh, yeah, I forgot those!" was a common conversation.
As suggested, the thing that is most missed are all of the photos. If there are family members that you know, call and suggest they get all they have together. Call the kids' schools and see if there are any copies of the school year-book for the years their kids have been there. Anything is a good help - and don't hesitate to offer specific things - the shock of such a horrible thing happening will make them unable to thing of what to ask someone for.
Invites to come eat dinner would also be good - they'll be starting a whole kitchen with NOTHING!
Just tell them how sorry you are for them.
Towels. First order of business for anyone I ever hear of whose home burns is to buy them a NICE set of towels (usually from JCP). They usually get donations of clothing, pots & pans, kitchen stuff, etc (usually used), but a nice fresh towel really helps give a moment of normalcy amidst the chaos. After that, just helping with the every day and, like Teresa said, reconstructing for the claim can be a huge help.
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Anyway, we don't know what we should do to try to help them. All they have is what they had packed in their suitcases for their vacation. Eventually insurance will help them replace the necessities, but we want to help in the meantime. 
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Caitlin, my BBB Princess, Dec '08
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