Forums Closed
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As of January 1, 2019, we have closed our forums. This is a decision we did not come to lightly, but it is necessary. The software our forums run on is just too out-of-date and it poses a significant security risk. The server software itself must be updated, and it cannot be without removing the forums.
So it is with a heavy heart that we say goodbye to our long-running forums. They came online in 2000 and brought together so many wonderful Disney fans. We had friendships form, careers launch, couples marry, children born ... all because of this amazing community.
Thank you to each of you who were a part of this community. You made it possible.
And a very special thank you to our Guides (moderators), past and present, who kept our forums a happy place to be. You are the glue that held everything together, and we are forever grateful to you. Thank you aliceinwdw, Caldercup, MrsM, WillCAD, Fortissimo, GingerJ, HiddenMickey, CRCrazy, Eeyoresmom, disneyknut, disneydani, Cam22, chezp, WDWfan, Luvsun, KMB733, rescuesk, OhToodles!, Colexis Mom, lfredsbo, HiddenMickey, DrDolphin, DopeyGirl, duck addict, Disneybine, PixieMichele, Sandra Bostwick, Eeyore Tattoo, DyanKJ130, Suzy Q'Disney, LilMarcieMouse, AllisonG, Belle*, Chrissi, Brant, DawnDenise, Crystalloubear, Disneymom9092, FanOfMickey, Goofy4Goofy, GoofyMom, Home4us123, iamgrumpy, ilovedisney247, Jennifer2003, Jenny Pooh, KrisLuvsDisney, Ladyt, Laughaholic88, LauraBelle Hime, Lilianna, LizardCop, Loobyoxlip, lukeandbrooksmom, marisag, michnash, MickeyMAC, OffKilter_Lynn, PamelaK, Poor_Eeyore, ripkensnana, RobDVC, SHEANA1226, Shell of the South, snoozin, Statelady01, Tara O'Hara, tigger22, Tink and Co., Tinkerbelz, WDWJAMBA, wdwlovers, Wendyismyname, whoSEZ, WildforWD, and WvuGrrrl. You made the magic.
We want to personally thank Sara Varney, who coordinated our community for many years (among so many other things she did for us), and Cheryl Pendry, our Message Board Manager who helped train our Guides, and Ginger Jabour, who helped us with the PassPorter-specific forums and Live! Guides. Thank you for your time, energy, and enthusiasm. You made it all happen.
There are other changes as well.
Why? Well, the world has changed. And change with it, we must. The lyrics to "We Go On" for IllumiNations say it best:
We go on to the joy and through the tears
We go on to discover new frontiers
Moving on with the current of the years.
We go on
Moving forward now as one
Moving on with a spirit born to run
Ever on with each rising sun.
To a new day, we go on.
It's time to move on and move forward.
PassPorter is a small business, and for many years it supported our family. But the world changed, print books took a backseat to the Internet, and for a long time now it has been unable to make ends meet. We've had to find new ways to support our family, which means new careers and less and less time available to devote to our first baby, PassPorter.
But eventually, we must move on and move forward. It is the right thing to do.
So we are retiring this newsletter, as we simply cannot keep up with it. Many thanks to Mouse Fan Travel who supported it all these years, to All Ears and MousePlanet who helped us with news, to our many article contributors, and -- most importantly -- to Sara Varney who edited our newsletter so wonderfully for years and years.
And we are no longer charging for the Live Guides. If you have a subscription, it's yours to keep for the lifetime of the Live Guides at no additional cost. The Live Guides will stay online, barring server issues and technical problems, for all of 2019.
That said, PassPorter is not going away. Most of the resources will remain online for as long as we can support them, and after that we will find ways to make whatever we can available. PassPorter means a great deal to us, and to many of you, and we will do our best to keep it alive in whatever way we can. Our server costs are high, and they'll need to come out of our pockets, so in the future you can expect some changes so we can bring those costs down.
Thank you, thank you, thank you for your amazing support over the years. Without you, there's no way us little guys could have made something like this happen and given the "big guys" a run for their money. PassPorter was consistently the #3 guidebook after the Unofficial and Official guides, which was really unheard of for such a small company to do. We ROCKED it thanks to you and your support and love!
If you miss us, you can still find some of us online. Sara started a new blog at DisneyParkPrincess.com -- I strongly urge you to visit and get on her mailing list. She IS the Disney park princess and knows Disney backward and forward. And I am blogging as well at JenniferMaker.com, which is a little craft blog I started a couple of years ago to make ends meet. You can see and hear me in my craft show at https://www.youtube.com/c/jennifermaker . Many PassPorter readers and fans are on Facebook, in groups they formed like the PassPorter Trip Reports and PassPorter Crafting Challenge (if you join, just let them know you read about it in the newsletter). And some of our most devoted community members started a forum of their own at Pixie Dust Lane and all are invited over.
So we encourage you to stay in touch with us and your fellow community members wherever works best for you!
Best wishes for a wonderful and magical new year!
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01-12-2006, 11:15 AM
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#1
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Community Rank: Trailblazer 
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Maine
Posts: 5,893
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School issues: Some great news! Update 7/18
I was wondering if any of you have experienced something similar to what we are going through with our daughter, and what you did in the situation, and what happened as a result. Also if any of you were like this in school.
My daughter, an honor student and a junior in high school has decided she doesn't care about grades anymore in some of her classes.
She is taking AP English, Honors Spanish, Honors US History, and getting Bs and Cs in most classes, but is doing poorly in science and FAILING math! Why? Not because she isn't smart enough, but because she doesn't do the homework or any assignments. Or if she does do them, they are late and thus marked down accordingly.
At parent-teacher conferences, all her teachers said she would be a straight A student if she would only do the work. She admits she is lazy.
We have asked her if she wants our help: talking to a counselor; getting a tutor; taking time management courses, dropping out of honor level, dropping the class, etc. Are you overwhelmed with the work load? Do you need help with homework? Nope, she wants none of it. She won't see the teachers after school for help because she says she doesn't need the help, she just doesn't care to do the work! [img]/ubb/images/graemlins/foreheadslap.gif[/img]
Rewards and punishments have no effect. We have restricted her to working weekends only, have removed Internet access from our home, offered her various rewards for an improved report card, etc. Nothing works.
She is a good kid. She is well liked by the teachers. She does not fool around in school, she pays attention and participates in class. She works 10 hours a week at McDonald's, they love her there and say she works very hard and is an outstanding employee. She calls us when she is going to be late, asks permission before she goes anywhere/does anything, etc. It's really just this one issue we have with her!
We talk to her all the time, tell her we love her no matter what. We are not on her about this every day, but she does know we are concerned, we don't agree with her decision, and we are here to help if she wants the help.
She says she still wants to go to college. We told her these poor grades are going to narrow the choices she has.
My husband thinks we have done everything we can, and that we need to let her fail, experience the consequences, and (hopefully) learn her life lesson.
I have stressed about what else I could do to help. But I am starting to think like my husband, maybe she is the type of person that needs to fail in order to learn a lesson. I sure could use some advice! Thanks for reading.
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01-12-2006, 11:35 AM
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#2
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Community Rank: Explorer 
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Illinois
Concierge Level: 1
Posts: 9,564
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Re: Need some advice from parents of teenagers (long)
Yes I have and know of others that have struggled with this issue (DS is now having the same issues with HIS DS who is a sophomore in HS). I know it's tough but unless you know of any other reasons for her attitude towards the work then I think your husband is correct. We all learn from our failures and mistakes. It's a hard thing to do though.
[img]/ubb/images/graemlins/fairy2.gif[/img] [img]/ubb/images/graemlins/fairy2.gif[/img] [img]/ubb/images/graemlins/fairy2.gif[/img] [img]/ubb/images/graemlins/fairy2.gif[/img] that things work out for you and your family!!!
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01-12-2006, 06:49 PM
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#3
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Community Rank: Legend 
Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: Indiana , USA
Concierge Level: 7
Posts: 26,527
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Re: Need some advice from parents of teenagers (long)
Okay: RADICAL IDEA: STOP!
It's what DD's counselor told us to do,and it worked.
Tell her that she is now in charge of her own grades, and that you don't even want to see a report card. if she fails, she will go to adult school until she finishes (no drop-outs in our family) YOU WILL NOT talk to her teachers, and the only meetings at school you will go to are those that she invites you to.
I know how harsh this sounds, and how hard it is to stop being interested in her grades, but she is old enough to decide: Does she want to go to college, and does she have a plan to leave your house after she turns 18 (or graduates school). Because, there aren't any free rides for lazy butted people in my house.
Sometimes these kids are so pressured to do everything they are told, they start letting their grades go as a way to gain control. Doesn't mean she wants to fail, just that she wants that choice. Give her back all her privileges and let her make the decision.
PS- this did work with Samantha, she went from Ds and Fs to As and Bs.
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01-12-2006, 11:48 AM
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#4
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Join Date: Feb 2000
Location: Chapel Hill, NC USA
Concierge Level: 6
Posts: 36,592
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Re: School issues: Need some advice from parents of teenagers (long)
One thought popped into my head...
What kind of kids does she hang out with? Do they take the same kinds of classes? Is she seen as the "smart" girl among the kids? Could she be trying to "impress" some boy who doesn't necessarily do well at school...and feels like she needs to be like him? Is she trying to play down the "smart" girl image for some other reason?
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01-12-2006, 12:07 PM
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#5
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Community Rank: Trailblazer
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Maine
Posts: 5,893
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Re: School issues: Need some advice from parents of teenagers (long)
[ QUOTE ]
What kind of kids does she hang out with? Do they take the same kinds of classes? Is she seen as the "smart" girl among the kids? Could she be trying to "impress" some boy who doesn't necessarily do well at school...and feels like she needs to be like him? Is she trying to play down the "smart" girl image for some other reason?
[/ QUOTE ]
Her friends are all honor students. Two friends are 5th and 10th in the senior class. She also has two friends who are doubling up on classes so they can graduate a year early. Her long-distance boyfriend (they met at camp) is a straight A student at a private academy. So it's not like she doesn't have some good peer role models. Hmmm . . . it doesn't explain while she continues to do well in her AP and honor level courses either . . . but definitely something to find out about.
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01-12-2006, 12:21 PM
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#6
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RED SOX NATION!!
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Connecticut
Concierge Level: 9
Posts: 136,854
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Re: School issues: Need some advice from parents of teenagers (long)
No advice, just tons of pixies for you and your DD [img]/ubb/images/graemlins/fairy2.gif[/img] [img]/ubb/images/graemlins/fairy2.gif[/img] [img]/ubb/images/graemlins/fairy2.gif[/img] [img]/ubb/images/graemlins/fairy2.gif[/img] [img]/ubb/images/graemlins/fairy2.gif[/img] [img]/ubb/images/graemlins/fairy2.gif[/img]
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01-12-2006, 12:31 PM
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#7
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Join Date: Feb 2000
Location: Chapel Hill, NC USA
Concierge Level: 6
Posts: 36,592
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Re: School issues: Need some advice from parents of teenagers (long)
Your answers make this even more curious. I too wonder what it is about the math and the other non-honors course that makes her not want to succeed in them. Has she expressed anything negative about the teachers or the courses themselves? (I had a terrible math teacher in 10th grade...I was getting Ds in her course and I always had made As and Bs in school. I just couldn't understand her and the way she taught stuff. My parents got me transferred to another class for second semester and I started getting Bs.)
I don't think I'd be able to just let it go like your DH thinks, either.
Other thoughts--
Does she have enough time to complete her homework for all classes, or is she choosing to use the time she has to do the homework for classes she "cares" about and letting the other classes slide?
Obviously she is in charge of her own homework time, but maybe you will have to "watch" her do her homework for a while. I'd ask the teachers in those problem courses to email you with their homework schedules (my son's teacher's have them online) and check up each night to see if she's done that work. It's sad that such a bright girl could disregard her grades so much.
I'm not sure if I'm much help (my kids are 12 and 10), but I do remember being a teen in high school and some of the pressures of being a "smart" kid.
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01-12-2006, 12:45 PM
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#8
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Community Rank: Trailblazer
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Chicago suburbs
Posts: 5,714
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Re: School issues: Need some advice from parents of teenagers (long)
Boy, I really feel for you. My kids are in middle school and my "perfect" son is beginning to say he doesn't care about his school work either. I have no idea what else you can do with a junior in high school. I'm afraid your husband might be right. Have you looked into the requirements for the colleges she might want to attend? Maybe if you can show some substantial proof that her grades will matter, she will rethink her self-destructive behavior. Maybe it is just a control thing- she is trying to assert her independence in one area where she has total control- her own grades. ?? Pixies to you and your family.
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01-12-2006, 01:21 PM
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#9
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Community Rank: Trekker 
Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: Columbus Ohio USA
Posts: 1,902
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Re: School issues: Need some advice from parents of teenagers (long)
So glad (I guess) to find out that this problem is not just ours. Our oldest son was in the gifted program at school, got straight A's in everything....except Health and Phys.Ed.
He failed those courses because he was just not interested in them. It played havoc with his grade point average (another reason why I don't think Phys.Ed. should be a graded subject- but I won't rant here about that). We could not convince him otherwise and it put a real damper on what was actually a very good High School career. When he graduated, his SAT scores were so high that all kinds of colleges were interested in him. But he said, "No. No more school" and he has stuck to it. He is 25 now and works doing computer stuff for two attorney's. HIs best friends have gone on to Grad. school at Harvard and Oxford.
My husband said the same thing, it's his life. Let him live it.
Suzie
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01-17-2006, 08:18 AM
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#10
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Community Rank: Trailblazer
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Maine
Posts: 5,893
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Re: School issues: Update Jan. 16
DH and I decided to try the "let her fail" course of action.
Let me tell you, it was very hard to keep my mouth shut! This week is midterms and I know she has not studied much (if at all). Yesterday she had the day off for MLK Day and I sent her sister to a friend's house so the house would be quiet and she could study. Well, she slept late, and then plopped herself in front of the TV.
I told her she couldn't watch TV, but nothing more.
I have no idea what is going to happen, which is a little scary. I'll let you know at the end of this month . . .
I also neglected to mention: her sister Evelyn (age 11, 6th grade) is getting straight As this year. Although Hayley is perhaps smarter than Evie is, Evie works much harder.
Hayley remarked at dinner the other night that it was "no fair" that Evie was getting such good marks. My DH said, "You would have straight As too if you worked as hard as Evie does." As my kids say, "BURN!"
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01-17-2006, 10:05 AM
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#11
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Community Rank: Explorer
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Atlanta, GA
Posts: 7,569
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Re: School issues: Update Jan. 16
Just a quick suggestion: There's a great book that I've found VERY helpful in dealing with all these school issues John Rosemond's "Ending the Homework Hassle". We've used it to good success with Lizzie several times. Although I'll have to admit that we are in the same boat with you at the moment about grades, studying, and the whole Middle High thing. We just got report cards from last term and she only got 2 B's in her gifted classes, but they could have been A's with a little more work. But she'll just have to suffer the consequences in the end. I do think we will be limiting the TV and computer if things don't improve. Good luck to use all.
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01-17-2006, 11:35 AM
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#12
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Living Seas wannabe
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Jacksonville, FL
Concierge Level: 6
Posts: 31,940
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Re: School issues: Update Jan. 16
continued [img]/ubb/images/graemlins/fairy2.gif[/img] [img]/ubb/images/graemlins/fairy2.gif[/img] [img]/ubb/images/graemlins/fairy2.gif[/img] [img]/ubb/images/graemlins/fairy2.gif[/img]
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01-30-2006, 10:09 AM
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#13
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Community Rank: Trailblazer
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Maine
Posts: 5,893
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Re: School issues: Update Jan. 30
Q2 grades
1 B
2 Cs
2 Ds
And those Ds were low Ds, she just passed both math and chemistry.
And today she has an in-school suspension for skipping school the Friday before midterms.
She failed her Spanish midterm and she got Cs and Ds on the rest.
Letting her fail is hard. Keeping my mouth shut is hard. She didn't even show us her report card, her teachers emailed us or called us with their concerns.
She just doesn't care . . .
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01-30-2006, 10:52 AM
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#14
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Community Rank: Wayfarer 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Illinois
Posts: 119
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Re: School issues: Update Jan. 30
[img]/ubb/images/graemlins/fairy2.gif[/img] [img]/ubb/images/graemlins/fairy2.gif[/img] [img]/ubb/images/graemlins/fairy2.gif[/img] [img]/ubb/images/graemlins/fairy2.gif[/img] [img]/ubb/images/graemlins/fairy2.gif[/img] [img]/ubb/images/graemlins/fairy2.gif[/img] [img]/ubb/images/graemlins/fairy2.gif[/img]
Good Luck. I wish I had some advice. That has to be terrible. I have 2 daughters that are 10 yoa and after reading your post I am scared to have to deal with this issue. So I just wanted to wish you well and hopefully you and your husband have the strength to deal with all of this!!
Gina
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01-30-2006, 11:58 AM
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#15
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Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Tulsa, OK
Concierge Level: 6
Posts: 21,627
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Re: School issues: Update Jan. 30
I wish I had words to help you but in a situation like this there are no words. I'm sending you a hug and some pixies that she will comes to her senses before the year is over and she has failed completely.... [img]/ubb/images/graemlins/grouphug.gif[/img] [img]/ubb/images/graemlins/grouphug.gif[/img] [img]/ubb/images/graemlins/fairy2.gif[/img] [img]/ubb/images/graemlins/fairy2.gif[/img] [img]/ubb/images/graemlins/fairy2.gif[/img] [img]/ubb/images/graemlins/fairy2.gif[/img] [img]/ubb/images/graemlins/fairy2.gif[/img] [img]/ubb/images/graemlins/fairy2.gif[/img]
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