Feeling down today...being single sticks! UPDATE...kinda
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RobinKay6573 · 06-16-2005, 11:02 AM

I am feeling a bit down today. I guess it is just one of those days. Recently I found out that my ex-husband got married last summer. He was a terrible man to me and treated me like property rather then a girlfriend/wife. Campus security and the cops knew us very well and so did our neighbors who called them on us. Every day we would argue about something until it climax shortly before he Thanksgiving 1994. The abuse was just emotional until the last month of our relationship. When it became physical I fought back and that is why he had enough and kicked me out...in Michigan where I had no family and WAY before there were battered woman's shelters. Even today over 10 years later his words echo in my head and I think of how he stripped almost everything from me…family, friends, schooling, hobbies…everything was about him. Yes it is good that it ended, great that I could get out and THANK GOD I didn’t have children with this man but it still upsets me that he can find a wife and happiness and I am still single. *sigh* Thank goodness he is back in Massachusettes so I never have to see him again!! Anyone live near Uxbridge? Okay…Robin pity party is over.

LSUtigerfan · 06-16-2005, 11:09 AM

Kudos to you for getting out of that situation, Robin! And,

don't think for a second that your ex has found marital bliss...he is just controlling another woman again. No one can truly be happy in that type of situation. Once an abuser, always an abuser. I've seen way too much abuse in my profession, and you should be proud of yourself! Set your standards high....seriously, make a list of what you want & don't want in a spouse, refer to it often....remind yourself that you deserve to be someone's "Belle!"

Smile, and try to have a GREAT day!

**chezp** · 06-16-2005, 11:36 AM

[ QUOTE ]

Kudos to you for getting out of that situation, Robin! And,

don't think for a second that your ex has found marital bliss...he is just controlling another woman again. No one can truly be happy in that type of situation. Once an abuser, always an abuser. I've seen way too much abuse in my profession, and you should be proud of yourself! Set your standards high....seriously, make a list of what you want & don't want in a spouse, refer to it often....remind yourself that you deserve to be someone's "Belle!"

Smile, and try to have a GREAT day!

[/ QUOTE ]

I think Lea summed it up. Your Prince Charming will come along one day - and when he does, he'll be someone who deserves someone as special as you Robin.

soccermomof2 · 06-16-2005, 12:01 PM

I am sorry that you are feeling so glum, but the bright side is that you are better off today than you were 10 years ago. There is someone out there for everyone, so hang in there. You may meet your Prince Charming in a place you would never expect.

Grammy Grumpy · 06-16-2005, 12:04 PM

Cheer up Robin, you've got lots of friends here. Sorry we can't be there in person when you need us!

TroianRae · 06-16-2005, 01:02 PM

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]

Kudos to you for getting out of that situation, Robin! And,

don't think for a second that your ex has found marital bliss...he is just controlling another woman again. No one can truly be happy in that type of situation. Once an abuser, always an abuser. I've seen way too much abuse in my profession, and you should be proud of yourself! Set your standards high....seriously, make a list of what you want & don't want in a spouse, refer to it often....remind yourself that you deserve to be someone's "Belle!"

Smile, and try to have a GREAT day!

[/ QUOTE ]

I think Lea summed it up. Your Prince Charming will come along one day - and when he does, he'll be someone who deserves someone as special as you Robin.

[/ QUOTE ]

pparm · 06-16-2005, 02:11 PM

Hope you're feeling better, soon!!

Paula

katspjs · 06-16-2005, 04:41 PM

[ QUOTE ]
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[ QUOTE ]

Kudos to you for getting out of that situation, Robin! And,

don't think for a second that your ex has found marital bliss...he is just controlling another woman again. No one can truly be happy in that type of situation. Once an abuser, always an abuser. I've seen way too much abuse in my profession, and you should be proud of yourself! Set your standards high....seriously, make a list of what you want & don't want in a spouse, refer to it often....remind yourself that you deserve to be someone's "Belle!"

Smile, and try to have a GREAT day!

[/ QUOTE ]

I think Lea summed it up. Your Prince Charming will come along one day - and when he does, he'll be someone who deserves someone as special as you Robin.

[/ QUOTE ]

Pooh1219 · 06-16-2005, 04:55 PM

I guess I'm in the minority here, but being single does NOT stink - it's just different. Maybe your Prince Charming will come along one day, and you'll live happily ever after. But if he doesn't, that's all right, too, because life is not only about meeting your prince. The most important thing is to keep things in perspective, and realize that you don't have to have someone else to complete you. You are complete all by yourself, and your life can be wonderful and fulfilling whether you meet your mate or you don't. I was in one very long relationship that was wonderful and one very long relationship that was much less than wonderful. Right now I'm by myself, but I'm not ALONE, nor am I lonely. You just have to make sure you realize your worth, enjoy your life and friends and family, and if someone special comes along, that's just the icing on the cake.

**Colexis Mom** · 06-16-2005, 08:18 PM

Pixies for you Robin

You're much better off, and from what you've told us, you've done very well

debsta922 · 06-16-2005, 08:44 PM

Robin, I'm just going to repeat what everyone else has said. Be thankful you are not in that relationship any longer. I left my first husband 7 years ago, but took the time after we seperated to really concentrate on learning who I was. It helped me become a stronger and independent person. Take the time for yourself, and don't stress out about being single... Mr right will probably show up when you least expect him too.

Tara O'Hara · 06-16-2005, 08:52 PM

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Pixies for you Robin

You're much better off, and from what you've told us, you've done very well

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That's exactly what I was going to say!

magic mickey · 06-16-2005, 09:58 PM

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Pixies for you Robin

You're much better off, and from what you've told us, you've done very well

[/ QUOTE ]

Marnie said it perfectly. Here's some extra

Hope tomorrow is a better day for you.

Tinkerbelly · 06-17-2005, 08:18 AM

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Kudos to you for getting out of that situation, Robin! And,

don't think for a second that your ex has found marital bliss...he is just controlling another woman again. No one can truly be happy in that type of situation. Once an abuser, always an abuser. I've seen way too much abuse in my profession, and you should be proud of yourself! Set your standards high....seriously, make a list of what you want & don't want in a spouse, refer to it often....remind yourself that you deserve to be someone's "Belle!"

Smile, and try to have a GREAT day!

[/ QUOTE ]

I think Lea summed it up. Your Prince Charming will come along one day - and when he does, he'll be someone who deserves someone as special as you Robin.

[/ QUOTE ]

I couldn't have said it better! You will meet Mr. Right. But, while your waiting focus on you and take care of you.

RobinKay6573 · 06-17-2005, 09:28 AM

Thanks guys! I don't know what I would do without you. I have been in counseling on and off for about 6 years. This time a year has always been very difficult for me (not sure why). Perhaps it has something do with schools being out and all the happy families I see outside living their lives knowing I go home every night to my kids which most people don't consider "real" kids.

My husband and I had all these plans when we were dating then engaged...house, kids, dog....picket fence...all that stuff. When I moved to Michigan with him that was the dream even though in reality the marriage was more of a status thing to him...a married grad student looks better on paper then a single grad student. Apparently a divorced grad student looks even better! :eyeroll: I remember him dragging me to all these cocktail parties where everyone spoke a foreign language except me (he was a grad student in Romance Languages). They would all start talking and I had no idea what any of them were saying...my ex made it a point to inform everyone that I wasn't "one of them" ...almost like they had to talk down to me and only speak English. Honestly I didn't care those parties were so boring I could have just napped in the corner. He finally stopped taking me...guess I was embarrassing :eyeroll:

As far as finding my Prince Charming. Who knows if that will happen? I have put my self out there and I talk to people. I do social things and I am hardly EVER home...working 3 jobs does that to a person. The best chance I have of meeting someone is at the baseball park (where I am several times a week). I highly doubt I will end up WITH a baseball player (seeing most are 10 years younger then me and they are looking for a more "fit" kind of girl). I have dated ball players before and they tend to be a bit immature for my taste. My boss from dog daycare is always telling me she “has to find me a man.” And she reiterates, “you are just a baby” She got married at 40 and had a child when she was 41. That was not what I had invisioned for myself when I was in my early 20s.

Thanks again...you guys are the greatest!!!

By the way I am feeling alittle better today. It will take a few days for this to pass...like I said this time of year has always been very difficult.