Parents! (vent) About This Page:

[2princessmom]

Well, I am a teacher by trade. I taught high school science for 8 years until I had my girls then have been at home. Well, our church has a mom's morning out program that has a preschool and the director has been asking me for the past couple of years to come and teach. I finally gave in for this year and am teaching one of the preK classes. Most of the children in the class are ones that I have known thru my daughter the last four years. THe kids are handful, full of energy and attitude. Which gets me to today or this week.

The other teacher and I decided to implement a star chart where after 6 stars they can choose a prize from the box. We had been telling the parents about it and showing them when they got a star and explained when they didn't. So on Wed. we had some children achieve six stars and handed out prizes. Since it was the first one I expected some confusion and tears and again needed explanation. It was an absolutely crazy day with more than normal hyperness and one girl was very upset b/c she realized that her friends wouldn't be at her school next year and just broke down which added to the confusion. Anyway, I guess there was an angry mob scene outside of the class where about 5 parents just went off for over an hour. Then decided to call in and complain not just about the stars but also my character and the other teacher. Other parents who witnessed the mob scene also called in. So today when we got to school totally unaware of all this started to get yelled at by parents and many wouldn't even talk to us or evil starred us. The director called me in and told me all that had transpired and I just lost it! I can handle defending policy or procedure especially if I believe in it however, I can't defend character issues and I shouldn't have too! These people have known me for almost 4 years and have seen me in all sorts of instances and were so excited that I was going to be the teacher. Now all of a sudden I am unapproachable, only talk about the negative, am not there for the kids and make sure to tell everyone when their child does something wrong! Ok, if you say so? I am just so upset and hurt! I went into this for the kids and I love teaching however, I got out of it for this exact reason! I don't need to put up with this.

I am trying not to make a decision out of emotion but it is hard! I also understand confusion about the stars. I should have put it in writing and didn't so I will explain it all in a letter. I am also trying to take the high road and it is hard. Once someone questions my character or integrity I have a hard time being around them. It also makes me sad that they even question it. What am I doing wrong that they would?

Anyway, I will stop. Thanks for listening!

[loobyoxlip]

Oh, Dianna, I am so sorry to hear this. It's hard going from a 'friend' or 'acquaintance' to a 'leader' or 'teacher' position. It happened with my now manager and I when she was promoted to manager - it's hard to be the same kind of friends we were before. to get you through this.

[katspjs]

[rescuesk]

I don't have any answers, just lots and lots of for you. People always say to me "I couldn't do what you do" but I always respond that what I do is a walk in the park compared to teachers!! You and all your fellow educators have my total respect!

[sarah_belle]

I had a similar experience last year during parent teacher conferences. One of the parents complained about the type of homework I assigned (it was a bizarre complaint...trust me!). She didn't think I should use the same text books everyday. It caught me completely off guard. Basically, she was complaining that the class was not challenging enough for her daughter, despite the fact that her daughter was barely keeping up with her work. *Sigh*

I felt terrible about her comments for weeks. I really worked hard for this class, including her daughter! The strange thing was, that when she returned the report card to me, albeit several weeks late, she made a note thanking me for my hard work and for the interest I took in her daughter.

I hope things work out for you. I think you are setting a very positive tone, rewarding your kids for their good behavior. I don't think you owe an explanation for a rewards system like that, and frankly, the response from the parents sounds over the top.

I know how emotion teaching is on a normal day, forget a day like you just had! If this is what you want to do, I hope you will be able to continue teaching the class. Good luck with your decision.

Sarah

[snoozy]

Frist off Dianna here's a big

I don't understand the unreasonable reaction of the parents. Almost every teacher I have ever worked with in what ever grade has some sort of a reward program going on in their classroom. Were these parents upset because their child did not receive a prize?

I have seen more then my share of parents go off on teacher's down through the years. Some were valid and some were just off the wall. Parents are the number one reason that have held me back from becoming a teacher myself. I went into adminstration instead. I still have to deal with hot tempered parents but, I'm usually the one they come to complain to first and then I just point them in the direction of the principal.

I'm sorry this has happened to you I think your star program is wonderful especially for the age group you are teaching. If you don't really need to work I wouldn't put up with the stress. Next time you have a parent complain about you tell them if they think they can do a better job its all theirs.

[GATechGal]

It sounds like you are doing a great job and star charts have been around FOREVER!! What planet are these parents from? Didn't THEY get stars when they were kids. Maybe your letter home will explain the program more fully to the dense parents in your class. Just a side note, as a parent, I really like to know when my kids are causing a ruckus so I can do something about it at home. I know not every parent wants that much information and would rather leave it to the teacher, but some behavior needs to be reported (not the little stuff, but melt downs might need to be). Good luck. Don't rush any decisions.

[Teresa]

I have lots of friends that are teachers, and I was a nanny for years. WE all used star charts!
The comment I am hearing more and more from teachers is that teaching is not worth it anymore. The kids used to have respect for the teacher. The parents also supported the teacher i.e.: "If Mrs. Andrews says you have been bad in class, then I believe her. You need to do what she asks and stop causing problems."

WE got in trouble at home if the teacher punished us. Kids now, the parents go to the school and want to know why the teacher is allowed to "be so mean" to their little darling.

Can you tell this is a sore point with me?
I found out this week that the pre-school director and teacher (same person) of the pre-school my kids went to has been forced out by just this problem. All because some mom thought her darling was special, and would never, never be bad!
BTW - I know that my kids lie, cheat, and steal (I hope only from each other) and that they usually are in the wrong when it comes to school issues.

[chezp]

Dianna, I can't offer you any words of wisdom, but I can offer you lots of and a I really things work out for you.

[LBAK]

Diana,
It is so hard not to be emotional in this. I am the director of a pre-school and also a pre-school teacher and the parents are totally out of line here. THEY need to grow up. You need to explain to them once again the theory behind behavior mod. and let them know that, yes little Johnny is disappointed that he didn't get his prize but that now he will work harder to obtain it. This is how life works and these parents are going to be in for a rude awakening when these children start kindergarten. Stick to your guns and make sure the director stands behind you. These parents need to know (and I know this will come as a shock to them) that their "darling" is not perfect. Keep up your good work. Try not to let it get to you. You are definitely doing the right thing here and you WILL make a difference in these childrens life! Hang in there. Sending lots of to you.

[DrDolphin]

No advice to offer - but lots of for you.

[2princessmom]

You guys are so great! THanks for making me feel better! I will let you know how it goes on Monday when I give them the letter and see if they start to talk to me again.

[Nick and Ryans Mom]

[MAria R]

[ QUOTE ]
You guys are so great! THanks for making me feel better! I will let you know how it goes on Monday when I give them the letter and see if they start to talk to me again.

[/ QUOTE ]

Hey this is my second year teaching and I understand exactly what you are saying. Parents can really make or break a classroom. I had very little support from many of my parents last year and being new I was unsure of everything. I made a lot of changes coming into this school year. Here are some of the things I do to ensure that I am not blamed, or etc.. for things that I can not or have not done. I document, document, document everything. Any little change I make in the room a send home a letter. I do everything to keep the parents informed so that they are not surprised by anything. Plus I use documentation to hold my students responsible so I don't catch the blame for bad grades or etc.. I hope this helps. Just be strong and remember why you are there and don't let the ignorance of others get you down.

[disneyqueenmum]

Sounds like you are trying to implement "positive" discipline. If the parents don't come around, tell them you will just have to go back to swatting behinds with a wooden spoon!