As of January 1, 2019, we have closed our forums. This is a decision we did not come to lightly, but it is necessary. The software our forums run on is just too out-of-date and it poses a significant security risk. The server software itself must be updated, and it cannot be without removing the forums.
So it is with a heavy heart that we say goodbye to our long-running forums. They came online in 2000 and brought together so many wonderful Disney fans. We had friendships form, careers launch, couples marry, children born ... all because of this amazing community.
Thank you to each of you who were a part of this community. You made it possible.
And a very special thank you to our Guides (moderators), past and present, who kept our forums a happy place to be. You are the glue that held everything together, and we are forever grateful to you. Thank you aliceinwdw, Caldercup, MrsM, WillCAD, Fortissimo, GingerJ, HiddenMickey, CRCrazy, Eeyoresmom, disneyknut, disneydani, Cam22, chezp, WDWfan, Luvsun, KMB733, rescuesk, OhToodles!, Colexis Mom, lfredsbo, HiddenMickey, DrDolphin, DopeyGirl, duck addict, Disneybine, PixieMichele, Sandra Bostwick, Eeyore Tattoo, DyanKJ130, Suzy Q'Disney, LilMarcieMouse, AllisonG, Belle*, Chrissi, Brant, DawnDenise, Crystalloubear, Disneymom9092, FanOfMickey, Goofy4Goofy, GoofyMom, Home4us123, iamgrumpy, ilovedisney247, Jennifer2003, Jenny Pooh, KrisLuvsDisney, Ladyt, Laughaholic88, LauraBelle Hime, Lilianna, LizardCop, Loobyoxlip, lukeandbrooksmom, marisag, michnash, MickeyMAC, OffKilter_Lynn, PamelaK, Poor_Eeyore, ripkensnana, RobDVC, SHEANA1226, Shell of the South, snoozin, Statelady01, Tara O'Hara, tigger22, Tink and Co., Tinkerbelz, WDWJAMBA, wdwlovers, Wendyismyname, whoSEZ, WildforWD, and WvuGrrrl. You made the magic.
We want to personally thank Sara Varney, who coordinated our community for many years (among so many other things she did for us), and Cheryl Pendry, our Message Board Manager who helped train our Guides, and Ginger Jabour, who helped us with the PassPorter-specific forums and Live! Guides. Thank you for your time, energy, and enthusiasm. You made it all happen.
There are other changes as well.
Why? Well, the world has changed. And change with it, we must. The lyrics to "We Go On" for IllumiNations say it best:
We go on to the joy and through the tears
We go on to discover new frontiers
Moving on with the current of the years.
We go on
Moving forward now as one
Moving on with a spirit born to run
Ever on with each rising sun.
To a new day, we go on.
It's time to move on and move forward.
PassPorter is a small business, and for many years it supported our family. But the world changed, print books took a backseat to the Internet, and for a long time now it has been unable to make ends meet. We've had to find new ways to support our family, which means new careers and less and less time available to devote to our first baby, PassPorter.
But eventually, we must move on and move forward. It is the right thing to do.
So we are retiring this newsletter, as we simply cannot keep up with it. Many thanks to Mouse Fan Travel who supported it all these years, to All Ears and MousePlanet who helped us with news, to our many article contributors, and -- most importantly -- to Sara Varney who edited our newsletter so wonderfully for years and years.
And we are no longer charging for the Live Guides. If you have a subscription, it's yours to keep for the lifetime of the Live Guides at no additional cost. The Live Guides will stay online, barring server issues and technical problems, for all of 2019.
That said, PassPorter is not going away. Most of the resources will remain online for as long as we can support them, and after that we will find ways to make whatever we can available. PassPorter means a great deal to us, and to many of you, and we will do our best to keep it alive in whatever way we can. Our server costs are high, and they'll need to come out of our pockets, so in the future you can expect some changes so we can bring those costs down.
Thank you, thank you, thank you for your amazing support over the years. Without you, there's no way us little guys could have made something like this happen and given the "big guys" a run for their money. PassPorter was consistently the #3 guidebook after the Unofficial and Official guides, which was really unheard of for such a small company to do. We ROCKED it thanks to you and your support and love!
If you miss us, you can still find some of us online. Sara started a new blog at DisneyParkPrincess.com -- I strongly urge you to visit and get on her mailing list. She IS the Disney park princess and knows Disney backward and forward. And I am blogging as well at JenniferMaker.com, which is a little craft blog I started a couple of years ago to make ends meet. You can see and hear me in my craft show at https://www.youtube.com/c/jennifermaker . Many PassPorter readers and fans are on Facebook, in groups they formed like the PassPorter Trip Reports and PassPorter Crafting Challenge (if you join, just let them know you read about it in the newsletter). And some of our most devoted community members started a forum of their own at Pixie Dust Lane and all are invited over.
So we encourage you to stay in touch with us and your fellow community members wherever works best for you!
Welcome! We're happy you've found the PassPorter Community -- the friendliest place to plan your vacation to Walt Disney World, Disney Cruise Line, Disneyland, and the world in general! You are now viewing the PassPorter Message Board Community as a guest, which gives you limited access. As our guest, feel free to browse our messages by selecting the forum you want to visit from the list below.
To post messages and ask questions, join our FREE community today and you'll get access to tools and resources not available to guests, such as our vacation countown timers, "living" avatars, private messaging system, database searches, downloads, and a special PassPorter discount code. Registration is fast, simple, and completely free. Just click the Join Our Community link.
If you think you've already joined, log in below now. If you don't remember your member name or password, please visit our Member Name and Password Recovery page. You are also welcome to contact us.
So as my title states...what to do with a 5 year old bully? He will be 6 in a few months. He is our neighbor and our son loves playing with him. Half the time they play well together but then the other half he acts like he hates my son, who has done nothing to him. We even asked the boy one day what had our son done to him and he said that our son had done nothing to him. It is crazy! I am almost to the point that I do not want him playing with him at all! He acts so mean, screaming hateful words and jumping up and down all toward my 4 year old son. He tells my son he can't come on his property. My son was riding his bike down the sidewalk and this other boy stopped him and made him turn around. (right in front of his own mother and us!) My husband went over and talked to the boy after that and told him not to treat our son that way if he wanted to be friends.
This boy is the youngest of 4 and I am sure this is the way he is treated at home, if not, where would he learn it? His dad told my dh that this boy acted like this is preschool. I am not sure if the parents have ever said anything to him. The parents act like, well, this is just the way it is. The problem will correct itself.
It seems they know he acts like this but they are not around to correct him EVER.
I have said things to him as has my dh but it is not our place to correct him, but I will not let him treat my son this way.
My son says that this boy is his best friend. I do not want him to have such a skewed view of friendship.
What do I do? This boy lives directly across the street from us. My son can not go outside without interacting with this boy.
I like the family and I like this little boy I JUST DO NOT LIKE his behavior! I am so tired of it!
So what should I do? Any advice will be helpful!
Thanks for reading,
Danielle
__________________
WDW Oct . 2012
Since Minnie's chair is gone, I had to find a new place to have our photo taken this past Oct. Not sure this will be the permanent place.
Registered Message Board Members save 30% off PassPorter guidebooks! When you register you'll have access to a discount coupon good for 30% off the list price of PassPorter books in our online store.
Have you tried talking to the the boys mom? Maybe if the two of you sat down and you explained what you have witnessed and your concerns, she might "see the light". It might prevent a bad situation from escalating to a horrible situation. I can just imagine this boy as a teenager making someone miserable. I feel for you and hope ya'll can find a solution.
I think talking to the boy's mom, as suggested above, is a good idea also.
Also, have a real sit-down talk with YOUR son about what it takes to be a good friend. Hopefully if this boy does not mend his ways, your son will soon learn that he (the other boy) is not a true friend and will find a new best friend.
__________________
MNSSHP 2015: DH (Bane), Me (Batgirl), Genie, and our friends
I think I would talk to your son about how a friend behaves. Then discuss respect for other people and how he should expect it from others. Practice what he should say the next time the little prince next door treats him badly. Obviously, the parents don't care about how their son is behaving, but you could try talking with the Mom. Chances are, if your school system is like ours, they have a no bullying policy, so soon the little dear is going to hear it from his teachers as well.
I hope things improve soon. If not, I hope your son can find a new best friend.
If it is ongoing; I would talk to the boys mother.... Kids get into arguments or even one kid may be in a bratty mood one day.... Things like that happening occasionally; I let go. But when it is happening day after day; I speak with the parents. It's important to not come across as "it's all your ds" (even if it actually is) or the parent just automatically goes into defense mode.... I always try to relay that I know my child does things also and go from there.....
And I correct other people's kids all the time in the neighborhood.... If their parent is not around and they are doing something that is dangerous or negatively affects other children; I speak up... I know all the neighbors well and they don't seem to mind that I get onto their kids..... So, I would continue to do that as well....
I would also talk with the mom and tell her how her son acts when she isn't
around. While you don't feel it's your place to correct him if he is bullying
your DS then it is up to you to say something. If it was my DD I would watch
the interaction and if the bullying starts again I would tell the kid that wasn't
the way friends treated each other and to leave my home.
Teach your DS to say hello/goodbye to this child but do not allow them to play together. When the other kid complains to his mother, she may approach you and you could explain the 'break' in allowing them to play together without being narky.
PassPorter Guide Community Rank: Legend Extraordinaire
Join Date: Feb 2000
Location: Chapel Hill, NC USA
Concierge Level: 6
Posts: 36,592
Post Thanks / Like
Probably not the route you want to go, but...
When I was about five years old I had a bully. He was about two years older than me. After taking it for a while I was advised by my dad to hit the kid next time he bothered me. So I did. Punched him in the face and he fell down and hit his head, started crying, and ran home. Next times I saw him he was trying his best to be nice to me. Never had a problem again.
I hope you can find something that works for you and your son!
Why CAN'T you correct him? You can't, of course, use corporal punishment, but you CAN tell him that his behavior is not acceptable to your family, and -- if he wants to continue to play with your son-- he'll have to change his behavior.
Period.
If kids don't learn this life lesson from their own family, they will have to learn it from society.
PassPorter Guide Community Rank: Legend Extraordinaire
Join Date: Feb 2000
Location: Chapel Hill, NC USA
Concierge Level: 6
Posts: 36,592
Post Thanks / Like
Quote:
Originally Posted by Caldercup
Why CAN'T you correct him? You can't, of course, use corporal punishment, but you CAN tell him that his behavior is not acceptable to your family, and -- if he wants to continue to play with your son-- he'll have to change his behavior.
Period.
If kids don't learn this life lesson from their own family, they will have to learn it from society.
"It takes a village."
You certainly can try to change behaviors in the children of others when it is necessary. We had boys bullying a neighbor child and I sent them home several times with a reprimand about their behavior.
I admire you for doing something as a parent and not letting this go. My mother did NOTHING when I was a kid and it was bad. So, talking to your child and letting him know that you are on his side is a great thing to do.
Great advice from everyone. Be active and don't let it rest.
We have a bully at school and as parents, after 6 yrs, we are tired of it, and will be getting together and goign to the school board if it isn't resolved in the school this fall. It is a terrible situation. Get it early..honestly, it won't get better. My hubby told my ds to do the same thing as Hidden Mickey suggested if it gets bad enough ( we are talking about defending himself and not carrying it beyond) and eventually, yrs down the road, it might have to happen.
I'd like to chime in here as the mom of a bully. My ds, who is 5, is a pretty good kid. Trust me, he has his moments and he gets along with everyone at school. However, I have a friend who has 4 kids, they are 10,8,5,&4. For the longest time, he would get along great with the 10 & 8 year old, but he was so darn mean to the 4&5 year olds. He would push them and hit them and I was literally at my wits end. I've known these kids mother since we were 7&8, so I had no problem whatsoever with her saying something to Stevie. Finally, I told her son, the 5 year old, the next time Stevie hits you, hit him back. Once he hit him back, that was the end of Stevie bullying him. However, Stevie is still pretty bad with the 4 year old. She is a very needy and kind of "in your face" little girl. Ilove her to death, and when it's just her and Stevie, they get along fine, but he is still mean to her when other kids are around. I've spoken to him numerous times, I've given him time outs, made him leave, nothing seems to work. I see what's going on, and I've tried everything. I hope it's just a phase, but if not, my friend knows I know what is going on and I am trying. We are both just trying to keep them away from each other for a while. Sadly, my son doesn't seem to care that he can't play with her, so keeping your son away from said neighbor might not do much to stop his bullying. I would do as other posters have said, speak to his mother, and if necessary, say something to the boy. There are a million kids out there, and the bully is the one that's going to end up friendless.
In study after study, the solution for a bully always comes from the one being bullied. The parents of either child can't help - you actually make it worse, because by going to the bully and saying "Stop hurting/being mean to/saying mean things to my son" you tell the bully - "My child can't stand up for himself, he's weak." And you give him, in a weird way, permission to continue to bully your son.
We dealt with a bully - twice. The first time, we tried to help. We took our DD (Kathryn) to counseling. We talked - a lot. We tried the 'talk to the bully and her parents, etc' method. It didn't work - the bullying got worse, to the point that we eventually sent Kathryn to another school.
Fast forward a few years, and our youngest DD was being bullied by a boy - we talked to her about how it's not acceptable, we tried the method of going through the school, etc. and nothing worked - again. Then, Lauren asked to take karate. SHE decided this was going to be her course of action. She trained for 6 months, and then, one day she warned Luke "Don't ever hurt me again or I'll hit you". He hurt her again, and she laid him out on the playground! He cried in front of the students, and decided Lauren was not the person to pick on.
DH and I were talking about this yesterday - and decided that allowing Lauren to solve it (giving her the tools, but allowing her to handle it on her own) did more for her self-confidence and self-worth than trying to solve Kathryn's bullying for her did.
My advice: teach your son that a good friend doesn't treat others like that, teach him to stand up for himself "You will not treat me like that - I'm going home", find other children for him to play with, and then - if he still wants to be friendly with the boy, let it go.
They're kids. They're going to argue and fight, and make up and play nicely - all in the course of a day, if not an hour! Honestly, I think people are way too involved in their kids' lives anyway. Think back to when you were a child: I know that my parents didn't interfere with my friends and I when we argued or when we were mean to each other, we solved our own issues. We learned to not be mean because then the other kids wouldn't play with us. We learned to be caring because we knew if we were, the others would play. We learned to play fair and share because if didn't, no-one played with us. We fought, oh yes we fought (there were 2 girls in the neighborhood and over 20 boys - my sister and I learned to fight very early on)! But we also played and loved and laughed. All without a single 'talking to' by an adult, and with no adult 'keeping an eye on things'.
About This Page: 
Like
Thank
Pixie Dust
Mary - not enough trips!
Hybrid Mode
