Could Use some pixies for 16 year old girl...(long) - PassPorter - A Community of Walt Disney World, Disneyland, Disney Cruise Line, and General Travel Forums
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Could Use some pixies for 16 year old girl...(long)
Sorry this is long... I will try to keep it as short as possible.
My family has known Ellen for her whole life. She is 16 almost 17 years old. Her dad and My DH used to be Business partners years ago, but we do NOT really KNOW HER well. The group of kids my youngest DS hangs around with includes Ellen, so they are friends, but just over the past couple of years. They are all good kids.
Her dad lives in TN (we live in MA). She is a situation where she can no longer live with her mom (too long and complicated to get into her but it is just NOT SAFE!). SHe would really like to stay here and finish out the school year. Her older sister took the "wrong path" and sadly is barely keeping her own head above water and is unable to help out. Ellen is doing things "right" but really needs a stable environment to keep on the right path. Her dad would like her to come and live with us and as much as I would like to take her in, the physical space in my house, as well as the ODD arrangements with work schedules makes it difficult if not impossible for me to say yes. I am heart broken over this as I am ALWAYS open to helping ANY CHILD in need! But she needs more than I am able to give at this point (physical space wise). We could take her in on a temporary basis, but that is not going to solve her long term problem. She needs permanent housing for the rest of this school year in our school district preferrably without getting social services involved. (She is not in physical danger from her mom, it is more neglect because of the mom's own health issues - please don't start lecturing me I KNOW! )
What we could REALLY use right now are some STRONG pixies that we can help her find a place to stay IN the school district for the rest of the year with out having to bounce her from friend to friend every week!!! Her dad is willing to provide all of her financial support, but she needs SO MUCH MORE THAN THAT!!! She needs a lot of EMOTIONAL support as well!!!
You are so kind to be trying to help this young girl. I really hope that someone will come forward and he able to take her in for the year- have you spoken to the principal and/or guidance office? Please keep us posted.
__________________
Suzanne, in Rochester,NY
Remember the Magic!
Picture is of DD,Pam, as Constance, in Gilbert and Sullivan's The Sorcerer
Wow this is tough. If her safety is in jeopardy and there is no family in her area maybe it would be best for her to go to her father. Yes, it's not fun to pick up and move schools etc, but her well being is worth more than the convenience of staying in the same school.
It is a HUGE commitment for someone to ask of you to take on their child that you barely know. I hope it all works out for this girl and she finds and keeps on the right path.
You have a good heart but taking in someone
else's child with issues is tough. I think talking with her school is a good idea
but if you don't want to get social services involved (which I feel they should
be) then the only solution would be to go live with dad.
As a foster mom I do understand your wanting to help. Good luck to you and
to her.
Some of the local churches here have families who are informal crisis homes. They are not licenses and do not recevie state renumeration. Can you call around and see if something like that is available?
Could you take her in if another family offered to supervise her when you are at work? I do court investigations on parenting matters and I always tell people physical space (so long as it's safe) is usually the least of my concerns.
The dad should get more involved. Even if someone were to take her in to finish this school year, what happens next year? It's tough to move, but that seems inevitable.
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we are looking at trying to let her stay with us for a while. short term solution would be to have her dad pay for a twin bed to put in my daughter's room and find some sort of solution for her clothing. Even though I don't know her very well, I just can't turn my back on her. I really feel like she and her sister got the short end of the stick when it came to parents. Even though they both "mean well" they both FELL SHORT when it comes to doing what is BEST FOR THE CHILDREN. Sending her to Tennesee wouldn't be in her best interest either. Having financial support from her dad would be better for her than anything else at this point. SIGH...
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