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Old 12-16-2008, 05:17 PM   #1
DisneyMom23Boys
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Who needs to watch soap operas when ...

I have a stupid brother-in-law!!

My sister and I are going to start writing a book on her SH [stands for either stupid (soon to be ex-) husband or sh*t head - take your pick]. This is my way of venting and entertaining all of my PP friends at the same time. There will be MANY chapters to hopefully keep all of you on the seat of your pants. It is also to let unfortunate others in similar situations know that you are not alone.
This guy has either no brains or is totally stupid (brainless, either way). So feel free to vent, as well, and we can support each other.

I have never really liked this guy and have been trying to tell my sister for the past many years, but, ya know ... love is blind. I had questions about him stealing, coming home from work early and leaving the children at the sitters several hours later until my sis picked them up on her way home from work, keeping a job for more than 6 months at a time, lying about jobs, questions of infidelity, ruining her credit, check fraud, etc., etc. This guy thinks that the world and everyone in it "owes" him everything. For what, who knows?? He's never done anything honest in his life we've found out. He doesn't want to work where he has to sweat a little or use a little elbow grease. He ALWAYS took off of work for his birthday instead of working for his family.

When my Mom and Dad left PA to retire in FL several years ago my Mom yelled from the car as they were headed out the driveway to my sister, "Do me a favor and get rid of that lazy a** bum of a husband." (or something to that fact - obviously my parents didn't like him much, either). My sister never forgot this and after me telling her to also consider getting a divorce she would remember Mom's words and stay with this sh just for spite and so she wouldn't have to hear, "I told you so!" from Mom.

Last year she actually kicked him out of the house, but that lasted for only a few days before she left him back in after he sent her roses.

This past September she called me on the phone in tears and I went over to talk to her (she lives next door). She has a daugher (almost 9) and a son (4). She said that she had had enough of the lies, etc. and after 4 years of honestly being in a horrible marriage, she was through with him.
September 21 she kicked him out of the house (they rent from my Dad - Mom has since passed away). SH had no money to even stay at a local motel! He couldn't find any relatives who would take him in (because he took advantage of everyone he met or knew), except for an aunt (to be referred to as AE). SH just couldn't get the hint that she did NOT want him there anymore. Our Dad came up to visit the next week and who was there to "welcome him with open arms"??? SH!! How in the world did he know to show up at that exact moment?? My sister, Dad's gf, and I left to get pizza for dinner while we left SH with Dad and children. We told Denise that she needed to tell SH that he would need to leave. She tried and he refused!! I was sooo thankful that my dh (my wonderful dear husband) came home and he had a little chat with SH, too. We even had to call the police again (oh, I guess I got ahead of myself, didn't I!!??) The police arrived and suggested that SH leave, because he was on our property and it would be the best. SH got sassy with the officer (not a good thing to do), but he finally left.

Back to calling the police again....

To Be Continued

Sorry, I can't tell you everything in one post! Where would the entertainment be in that, right?

I showed this to my sister and she gave permission to post this. The only thing that she would change would be SH to DA (As Jeff Dunham's friend Walter says, "Dum A**"!)
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Old 12-16-2008, 07:08 PM   #2
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Oh my!
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Old 12-16-2008, 07:16 PM   #3
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Wow. First Lori with the 'unusual' brother-in-law, now you. There are probably many others! It will be fascinating to see who's brother-in-law will get bragging rights when it's all said and done!
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Old 12-16-2008, 07:59 PM   #4
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I am beginning to think that most families have one. I am surprised my DSIL is still putting up with my brother.


for your sister.
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Old 12-17-2008, 12:14 AM   #5
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Wow. First Lori with the 'unusual' brother-in-law, now you. There are probably many others! It will be fascinating to see who's brother-in-law will get bragging rights when it's all said and done!
I was kinda wondering if he was related to Larry....

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Old 12-16-2008, 08:09 PM   #6
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I have 2 SILs I need to write about someday...in the meantime, HUGE doses for your sister. I had a BH (beavis & "BH") for an ex, who was a piece of work. I was lucky, I guess in a way, that he finally joined the Army b/c they sorta kept him in line, but it was bad news for too many years. I hope your DSis is able to get away and protect the kids from him. Sounds like a restraining order should be in the works...
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Old 12-16-2008, 09:10 PM   #7
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I had an SH, although I do like the Walter version too!
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Old 12-16-2008, 11:40 PM   #8
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You think your that only your family is crazy, until you marry someone and find out ALL families are crazy.
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Old 12-17-2008, 01:04 PM   #9
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You think your that only your family is crazy, until you marry someone and find out ALL families are crazy.
You got that right. I thought my family was nuts but my DSIL and I are convinced that our MIL is a bit loony!

for you sister.
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Old 12-17-2008, 01:50 PM   #10
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Deb,

Thanks for sharing with the update. I am glad to hear is away from the family for now and that you can all find out when he is released / arrested. I hope he is able to get the help he needs... he may even need medication. I hope that we all will be better able to recognize families in crisis this holiday season and in the stressful months / years soon to come.
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Old 12-17-2008, 01:45 AM   #11
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Old 12-17-2008, 05:20 AM   #12
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He sounds like an abuser. Not funny.
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Old 12-17-2008, 08:26 AM   #13
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He sounds like an abuser. Not funny.
I agree. Not sure about the "entertainment" value...but I do feel very bad for your sister.
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Old 12-17-2008, 08:32 AM   #14
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Old 12-17-2008, 09:03 AM   #15
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My dh isn't happy

ok, so I got persmission from my sister, but dh isn't happy about my posts, so I'm sorry to say that I'm going to have to stop with the specific details. (We'll let you know if and when we ever decide to write or publish our book, but probably not until all of this is done and over with).

The long and short of it is...

SH was found stalking my sister (even hiding out in the fields across the street from our homes, following her, etc.)

A PFA (Protection From Abuse) was awarded and the judge said that SH was not to come near her for 3 years. This PFA was violated 3 separate times - stalking (1 night in jail), sent a package to her home (8 nights), and tried to break into the house (until further notice). He has never physically harmed my sister or her children, but mentally, yes. My sister is a very strong person through all of this.

After SH left we found many stolen items from most every job he worked for (quarts of Hess oil, a freezer full of Schwann's products, caulking guns, nails, generator, etc., etc. ~ although no charges were ever filed for these stolen items). My dh even saw him steal something from his current job 2 weeks ago (SH drove to the back of the grocery store to the loading dock, opened up his trunk and put something in ~ later we found out that it was all kinds of meats ~ SH was working in the deli).

When SH was in jail the second time we found out about a program in PA called PA Savin PCCD: PA SAVIN Inmate Release Notification

This program allowed us to register our phone numbers to let us know when SH was released from jail. We didn't realize that when SH was on the run from the police for a week for the 3rd violation that we'd receive a call from PA Savin saying that SH was in custody. We are still unsure how he was finally arrested, but we do know that it was for some kind of traffic violation and his outstanding arrest warrant would be flagged. It is a great program for anyone who is a victim of crime. My sister can sleep peacefully knowing exactly where SH is presently. We are praying that he will receive psychiatric counseling. We were even concerned that he might take his own life and my sister was releived. Even though her SH has done some really stupid things, she is hopeful that he will change his ways to finally be a good dad that he never was.

My neice (almost 9) is strong like her mom and she understands that daddy did bad things and that as adults the police disciplines bad adults. I think the biggest thing right now is peace of mind that he isn't out there just watching.

Thank you all for your prayers and we pray for those of you who may be in similar or worse situations.

Have a Magical Day

Deb
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