As of January 1, 2019, we have closed our forums. This is a decision we did not come to lightly, but it is necessary. The software our forums run on is just too out-of-date and it poses a significant security risk. The server software itself must be updated, and it cannot be without removing the forums.
So it is with a heavy heart that we say goodbye to our long-running forums. They came online in 2000 and brought together so many wonderful Disney fans. We had friendships form, careers launch, couples marry, children born ... all because of this amazing community.
Thank you to each of you who were a part of this community. You made it possible.
And a very special thank you to our Guides (moderators), past and present, who kept our forums a happy place to be. You are the glue that held everything together, and we are forever grateful to you. Thank you aliceinwdw, Caldercup, MrsM, WillCAD, Fortissimo, GingerJ, HiddenMickey, CRCrazy, Eeyoresmom, disneyknut, disneydani, Cam22, chezp, WDWfan, Luvsun, KMB733, rescuesk, OhToodles!, Colexis Mom, lfredsbo, HiddenMickey, DrDolphin, DopeyGirl, duck addict, Disneybine, PixieMichele, Sandra Bostwick, Eeyore Tattoo, DyanKJ130, Suzy Q'Disney, LilMarcieMouse, AllisonG, Belle*, Chrissi, Brant, DawnDenise, Crystalloubear, Disneymom9092, FanOfMickey, Goofy4Goofy, GoofyMom, Home4us123, iamgrumpy, ilovedisney247, Jennifer2003, Jenny Pooh, KrisLuvsDisney, Ladyt, Laughaholic88, LauraBelle Hime, Lilianna, LizardCop, Loobyoxlip, lukeandbrooksmom, marisag, michnash, MickeyMAC, OffKilter_Lynn, PamelaK, Poor_Eeyore, ripkensnana, RobDVC, SHEANA1226, Shell of the South, snoozin, Statelady01, Tara O'Hara, tigger22, Tink and Co., Tinkerbelz, WDWJAMBA, wdwlovers, Wendyismyname, whoSEZ, WildforWD, and WvuGrrrl. You made the magic.
We want to personally thank Sara Varney, who coordinated our community for many years (among so many other things she did for us), and Cheryl Pendry, our Message Board Manager who helped train our Guides, and Ginger Jabour, who helped us with the PassPorter-specific forums and Live! Guides. Thank you for your time, energy, and enthusiasm. You made it all happen.
There are other changes as well.
Why? Well, the world has changed. And change with it, we must. The lyrics to "We Go On" for IllumiNations say it best:
We go on to the joy and through the tears
We go on to discover new frontiers
Moving on with the current of the years.
We go on
Moving forward now as one
Moving on with a spirit born to run
Ever on with each rising sun.
To a new day, we go on.
It's time to move on and move forward.
PassPorter is a small business, and for many years it supported our family. But the world changed, print books took a backseat to the Internet, and for a long time now it has been unable to make ends meet. We've had to find new ways to support our family, which means new careers and less and less time available to devote to our first baby, PassPorter.
But eventually, we must move on and move forward. It is the right thing to do.
So we are retiring this newsletter, as we simply cannot keep up with it. Many thanks to Mouse Fan Travel who supported it all these years, to All Ears and MousePlanet who helped us with news, to our many article contributors, and -- most importantly -- to Sara Varney who edited our newsletter so wonderfully for years and years.
And we are no longer charging for the Live Guides. If you have a subscription, it's yours to keep for the lifetime of the Live Guides at no additional cost. The Live Guides will stay online, barring server issues and technical problems, for all of 2019.
That said, PassPorter is not going away. Most of the resources will remain online for as long as we can support them, and after that we will find ways to make whatever we can available. PassPorter means a great deal to us, and to many of you, and we will do our best to keep it alive in whatever way we can. Our server costs are high, and they'll need to come out of our pockets, so in the future you can expect some changes so we can bring those costs down.
Thank you, thank you, thank you for your amazing support over the years. Without you, there's no way us little guys could have made something like this happen and given the "big guys" a run for their money. PassPorter was consistently the #3 guidebook after the Unofficial and Official guides, which was really unheard of for such a small company to do. We ROCKED it thanks to you and your support and love!
If you miss us, you can still find some of us online. Sara started a new blog at DisneyParkPrincess.com -- I strongly urge you to visit and get on her mailing list. She IS the Disney park princess and knows Disney backward and forward. And I am blogging as well at JenniferMaker.com, which is a little craft blog I started a couple of years ago to make ends meet. You can see and hear me in my craft show at https://www.youtube.com/c/jennifermaker . Many PassPorter readers and fans are on Facebook, in groups they formed like the PassPorter Trip Reports and PassPorter Crafting Challenge (if you join, just let them know you read about it in the newsletter). And some of our most devoted community members started a forum of their own at Pixie Dust Lane and all are invited over.
So we encourage you to stay in touch with us and your fellow community members wherever works best for you!
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I have a question I really need to bounce off some people who can be pretty objective...
Let me put this in as general terms as possible for now. As a parent, what do you do/say when you see your adult child (let's say early twenties, so not a lot of experience under the belt) making some really big mistakes that may have the potential of affecting lots of other people.
In other words, in your opinion, you believe your kid is going to make a big mistake.
Do you talk to them about it?
Share your opinions (which may or may not be valid)?
Trust that your kid can handle their own life and just be supportive?
Say, "What the heck - it's their life. Let them clean up their own mess." ?
I would really like to talk to my son about some decisions he is formulating right now. I would like to offer another point-of-view, but I don't want to interfere at the same time. Yet I feel like a bad parent if I don't offer some insight.
How do you handle your adult children's experiences? When you were a young adult, how much guidnace did you want from your parents?
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Sit him down, ask him to explain what it is you're concerned about. "I know you're planning to do X, can you tell me why and what your objective is?"
Then, tell him your concerns, and where, in your experience this could lead.
Then, and this is the most important part: Tell him something along the lines of: "Now that I've expressed my concerns, I will step back and let you make your own decisions. And - no matter what happens, I'm always here for you, and I will always love you."
It is harder to do than it is to think. And, you know young adults - they think they have all of the answers and often think we're over-reacting. Just know that you can't fix it all for him, and shouldn't.
Good luck.
Sit him down, ask him to explain what it is you're concerned about. "I know you're planning to do X, can you tell me why and what your objective is?"
Then, tell him your concerns, and where, in your experience this could lead.
Then, and this is the most important part: Tell him something along the lines of: "Now that I've expressed my concerns, I will step back and let you make your own decisions. And - no matter what happens, I'm always here for you, and I will always love you."
It is harder to do than it is to think. And, you know young adults - they think they have all of the answers and often think we're over-reacting. Just know that you can't fix it all for him, and shouldn't.
Good luck.
I totally agree with this. This way you can get your opinion and concerns out there, but then lay the responsibility for the actions where they belong, at your son's feet.
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Myself, I don't have adult children but I think about how my parents reacted when I was a 20 -something and how they helped me (even if I didn't want the help or guidance then, but thankful now!).
Sit your son down and let him know just how much you love him and respect him as an adult.... offer your wisdom without judgement, and remind him that we all make decisions (not mistakes) in life that may seem like a good idea at the time, but hind sight is always 20/20. Ask him his point of view on this subject and why he wants to take this path. Listen to what he has to say with an open mind. If the action he is planning to take is something that would effect lives in a negative way, then perhaps point out your concerns, again, without judgement, but with the all knowing eye of a parent. Maybe he doesn't know the impact of his decisions and how it could effect so many and the advice you give could open his eyes. If he chooses to listen is up to him, but at least you have given your advice and your love.
Sit him down, ask him to explain what it is you're concerned about. "I know you're planning to do X, can you tell me why and what your objective is?"
Then, tell him your concerns, and where, in your experience this could lead.
Then, and this is the most important part: Tell him something along the lines of: "Now that I've expressed my concerns, I will step back and let you make your own decisions. And - no matter what happens, I'm always here for you, and I will always love you."
It is harder to do than it is to think. And, you know young adults - they think they have all of the answers and often think we're over-reacting. Just know that you can't fix it all for him, and shouldn't.
Good luck.
Sit him down, ask him to explain what it is you're concerned about. "I know you're planning to do X, can you tell me why and what your objective is?"
Then, tell him your concerns, and where, in your experience this could lead.
Then, and this is the most important part: Tell him something along the lines of: "Now that I've expressed my concerns, I will step back and let you make your own decisions. And - no matter what happens, I'm always here for you, and I will always love you."
It is harder to do than it is to think. And, you know young adults - they think they have all of the answers and often think we're over-reacting. Just know that you can't fix it all for him, and shouldn't.
Good luck.
This is very well thought out and said!! I just hope that when my DS is in his early 20s and maybe not making the best decisions, I can remember this and handle it this well. As a parent we always want to protect our children, but we can't do this forever!
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DH has 20 something kids (adopted from his previous marriage) and as easy as
it would be to say, "Your doing something stupid and this is what you should do",
sometimes you have to let them figure it out even if it means they will fall.
What DH does (I try to stay out of it as stepmom) is if it's possibly illegal or will
hurt someone else, he will say what he thinks. If it doesn't, then he lets them figure
out their mistakes. Yes it's hard and even harder not to say, "I told you so".
DH has 20 something kids (adopted from his previous marriage) and as easy as
it would be to say, "Your doing something stupid and this is what you should do",
sometimes you have to let them figure it out even if it means they will fall.
What DH does (I try to stay out of it as stepmom) is if it's possibly illegal or will
hurt someone else, he will say what he thinks. If it doesn't, then he lets them figure
out their mistakes. Yes it's hard and even harder not to say, "I told you so".
Good luck!
This is exactly my sitution! If it will hurt someone or if it is illegal, DH would say something. Otherwise, he would wait for them to bring it up and then give his opinion. And it is so hard to not say "I told you so". Now that DH is gone, I try to stay out of it all together. One step will tell me what he is doing but has made it clear he does not want to hear what I think. The other step I never see so it is not an issue.
Sorry if I am late to this party, but I kind of wish I was directed / pushed a bit more than I was. I feel I did not get enough direction, but I guess my parents must have received enough feedback on my capabilities to let me make my on mistakes along the way. An adult has "to make his own bed and lie in it". So, you have to let them fail. But, being supportive is different than cleaning up their mess for them. So make sure he understands that if it was you, would ______. I would also invite him to get the opinions of other mature people that he knows you don't infulence directly. Basically, a second opinion. Hope that helps, as i have not BTDT (as yet).
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When I was in my 20's, I made mistakes. I made a lot of mistakes. Mistakes that I regret kind of mistakes. And in my house, my mistakes were the big pink elephant in the room that no one wanted to discuss. I imagine that the reason why the mistakes were made was the actual subject everyone wanted to avoid, but I was in pain and didn't know how to heal myself and no one would speak to me about it, so I made mistakes to make it clear (unconsciously) to my family that I was in distress and needed help. And no one helped. It was devastating. Not just for me, because I've been able to pull myself out of that rut, but as a consequence, my relationship with my parents and siblings has suffered. I can't count on them to listen to me, support me, or pull me up by the bootstraps when I need it. So the lesson I learned from this, which I'm putting to use with my children (even though they are very young) is to talk. You might not know the reasons why your child is going to make the mistake: the mistake could be a big cry for help. The best thing you can do I think is to tell your child exactly what you told us: you love them, you don't want to interfere, but you see plainly a big wreck coming, and it is your duty as a loving parents to communicate and understand before the wreck happens. If your child, even as an adult, was standing in the way of a racing car wouldn't you push them out of the way? Its our instinct as parents to help what is important is HOW you help. And I think you've got the right idea.
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Its a tough one! My DD is twenty and sometimes she has the most hair brained of schemes. Ususally we talk around them, but I don`t actually discourage her, as often she goes off the idea and I don`t have to intervene. I`m always concerned that my opposition to something actually encourages her - even though she`s a very good kid.
Very good luck to you.
So the lesson I learned from this, which I'm putting to use with my children (even though they are very young) is to talk. You might not know the reasons why your child is going to make the mistake: the mistake could be a big cry for help. The best thing you can do I think is to tell your child exactly what you told us: you love them, you don't want to interfere, but you see plainly a big wreck coming, and it is your duty as a loving parents to communicate and understand before the wreck happens. If your child, even as an adult, was standing in the way of a racing car wouldn't you push them out of the way? Its our instinct as parents to help what is important is HOW you help. And I think you've got the right idea.
I agree! At least put it out there that you'd like to share your point of view and let them know your love is unconditional.
PassPorter's Free-Book to Walt Disney World It’s hard to believe anything is free at Walt Disney World; but there are actually a number of things you can get or do for little to no cost. This e-book documents over 200 free or cheap tips to do before you go and after you arrive. You could save a considerable amount of money following these tips. Perhaps more importantly; you can discover overlooked attractions and little-known details most people whiz by on their way to spend money. Click here to see free sample pages from the e-book! Get this popular e-book free of extra charges when you join the PassPorter's Club for as little as $4.95. A club pass includes access to all our other e-books; e-worksheets; super-size photos; and more! This e-book is also available for separate purchase in the PassPorter Online Store for just $5.95.
Seriously, good advice from all of you. I thought it was interesting that you all told me the same thing as my 18 yr. old DD - who told me, "Mom, you're going to have to point out a few things to him, even if he gets angry about it."
For now, I will watch and wait. Things may blow over on their own. If not, we will definitely discuss the matter - and then it's up to him.
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I totally agree with this. This way you can get your opinion and concerns out there, but then lay the responsibility for the actions where they belong, at your son's feet.
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