attn parents of TEENS, do you know what "Facebook" is? About This Page:

[MsODancr]

my 14 y.o. daughter wants to sign up, but I won't let her til I have gotten the opinion of other parents and know about it...

I have forbidden her to use myspace, and this just seems like another version of it, but she claims it is safe...

anyone???

thanks bunches in advance....

[Disney_Scarlett]

I'm not a teenager, but I'm on Facebook. I graduated from college last year and it's something that was very popular to use at my school. Even a lot of my professors had Facebook pages. Now that I'm out of school, I've found it useful and fun to use, being able to connect with people I work with and am meeting through my job, other friends, etc. I really like it and have never felt unsafe about using it, as I don't post very personal information on it, and the only people that can view my page are my approved friends.

I have an interesting article comparing MySpace and Facebook that I would gladly forward you if you'd like to PM me your email address. It's kind of long to post on here. It's meant to compare the socio-economic profiles of MySpace and Facebook users (I know, a real page turner --- the place where I work is/was considering setting up a MySpace or Facebook page for our office for students to use to learn more about us, and we wanted to know what our demographics are), but it also gives a pretty good outline of the differences between the sites.

I don't have a MySpace page, but for me (an adult), it's less about safety and more about Facebook is aesthetically pleasing to me, and more of my friends use it. Until recently, you had to have an ".edu" email address to register, so it was only open to college students for the most part, but now it's open to high school students and pretty much anyone, I believe. However, there are a lot of security settings that prevent random people from viewing and accessing your information and I think Facebook monitors their site much more closely than MySpace. I'm not a social-networking-tool expert, especially as to what's good for teenagers, but again, I can forward you that article and it might would help you decide.

[Teresa]

I don't know much about either MySpace or FaceBook. I'm an adult student in a mostly teen/young twenties college, though. These are both discussed a lot by the kids I'm in class with. Mostly, it's about what so-and-so posted on someone else's site. Or, what this or that person said in their page. Never does it seem complimentary.
I don't allow my kids to have these pages. They have their friends' e-mail and IM addresses, and phone numbers. Who else do they need to know and talk to? Who needs to know anything about them that they can't learn just by talking to my kids?
Just my opinions.

[koalamom]

My DD18 Tigger_Lizard has a myspace and just recently signed onto facebook as she is in college now and several of her friends are "on". She really likes facebook and has found several friends that she has not heard from in a few years. I will get her to post a bit later today when she gets back home.

[DyanKJ130]

I don't know much about Facebook, but I decided to allow DS to have a MySpace page last year. There are certain rules & conditions for him to have a page. It must be set to private, I must have his password at all times and he must not complain that I check out his 'stuff' as often as I would like (once a day....once a week...whatever). He hasn't complained and it has been working out great.

Hope this helps!!

[wvugrrrl]

Facebook used to be only for college students. You had to have a college email address in order to use it (".edu"). While on the college page, you could look at "profiles" of people that went to your university, but if you wanted to access another person from a different university, you had to get them to approve you as a friend first.
Then they opened Facebook up to High Schools students. Instead of having to register with a school email address, you have to pick what HS you attend and your membership is based on such. The safe part of this is that only people from your HS can see your profile (so you don't have to worry about pedophiles, or innapropriate comments from college students), and if, for example, I wanted to "befriend" my sister, she would have to approve me first.
The reality is, the internet is only as safe as your supervision. So if you're paying attention to what your kids are doing on Myspace or Facebook, there's no reason as to why it shouldn't be a fun, interesting way to socially network. IMHO, kids are in no more danger on these sites as any other website on the internet, Passporter included. It's all based on being proactive as a parent.

[stretch2864]

DD started using both Facebook and MySpace when she was a junior or senior in high school. Facebook especially helped her make friends at the first college that she went to. I think with anything online, you have to be cautious~whether you are 14 or 40. DD restricts her MySpace account so that it is private. That means that only people that she has listed as friends can look at her MySpace page. If your 14 yo DD is responsible, you might consider letting her have a MYSpace page; but have her make it private so that not just anyone can look at it. That way she could still converse with her friends online. I think it would be hard to say "No" when her friends are allowed to use it. What kids can't have is what they most want. It would be better to allow her a little bit of freedom which you can still monitor; instead of banning her from it entirely. Of course you know your DD best, so what you decide is what you think is best for her. Good luck!

[jpod523]

everything above is true. i like facebook, but i don't know if she should get one at 14. maybe only if you could see it whenever you wanted to. facebook and myspace are notorious for stalkers and stuff like that, so less information on the web is better. one thing i hate about facebook is people posting pictures of parties and drinking. do these people realize that employers look at these social networking sites?

[COMinnie]

I'm a 17yo, and I just got a Facebook this summer as a senior in HS. I have never had a Myspace- Facebook is WAY more regulated as far as who you can be friends with, and I just never felt comfortable with Myspace. The big difference for me (and for my mom, who wouldn't let me have a Myspace even if I had wanted one) is that I have to approve people to be my friends before they can see my profile, pictures, and leave comments on my page. If I don't know the person, I don't accept their "friend request."

If you decide to let your daughter have one, I would be near her when she sets it up- that way, you two can discuss the privacy options (IE, whether she wants a public profile where anyone in her HS can see her page, or a completely private one) and also what she allows people to see in her profile. For example, you can add phone numbers and your address, neither of which I allow people to see on my page.

But now that I've said all this, I can't really tell you one way or another what's best for your daughter. The only thing you can do is get all the information you can and then make sure your daughter is honest with you about these sites.

Oh, and about her age- I don't think she's too young to have a Facebook page. She's a freshman in high school, which is when (at least I think) the whole social networking thing becomes more popular; my 14yo sister has many more friends than I do who are her age.

[Tigger_Lizard]

Sorry for the lateish reply. Mom (koalamom) told me about it earlier, but I was doing something else and forgot to skip over here. ANYWAY, as for my response to the first post:

MySpace - IMHO a piece of crap. It's really not safe and extremely confusing. Generally not very organized AT ALL. And I really don't like it. I have a profile, but I'm NEVER on because I keep getting junk in my message folder there.

Facebook - Oh my word! I LOVE FACEBOOK!!! I just joined the week before school and if you're in college, you can be in your college group and find others that go to your college or see where old friends are going now (what I use it for, mostly). I've been getting some good information on groups I'm in away from the computer (ie. the Commuter Students at UofM have their own "group" and we were notified about a recent pizza party via Facebook instead of email). You can send messages to friends, hug them, throw a sheep at them, poke them, sign their "wall", view their pictures, and so much more. As long as you're careful with your personal information (ie. address, phone, etc.), I find Facebook great! I also personally think it's safer than MySpace. The people that get in trouble are the people that give away ALL their information. But that's what parents are for, right? Okay, I'm rambling.

If you have questions about Facebook or MySpace or whatever, feel free to PM me.

[Chrissi]

I use MySpace to keep up with friends who have spread out all over the country and to help my friends keep an eye on their teenagers who have MySpace accounts. I have a couple of friends whose kids have accounts and the deal is - they have to have their profile, photos, and blog set to private. All friend requests and posted photos have to be pre-approved by a parent, and their parents added some of their own friends to the kids friends list to help keep tabs on their pages and bulletins. We're like extra watchdogs for our friends' teenagers. We have caught them sharing personal info (phone numbers and such), and blew the whistle on 'em.

Which reminds me - I noticed one friend's daughter had changed her settings to public. I need to call her mom.

MySpace is more easily accessible, but if you lay down the rules, it can be safe. And it doesn't hurt to have trusted friends (godparents, aunts, uncles, old sitters, etc.) check in on her page once in a while. Personally, I think 14 is too young to need a MySpace or Facebook page. What does she need to network for? Has she lost touch with a friend from preschool?

I know nothing about Facebook - a little after my time college-wise.

[Diz]

I know this is the "thing" to do...post on facebook or myspace. DS#1 Luke says basically what everyone else has stated - it is risky and you have to monitor it daily! It is also so important that it be private not public.

I have found it interesting that employers are now looking at myspace/facebook pages when considering to hire. I have one friend whose daughter was told that she was not being hired because of her myspace page. I keep hearing this more and more. Here's one story I just recently read:

MySpace Photo Costs Teacher Education Degree - Offbeat

Here's another where the person mentions employers looking at blogs/web pages, etc.:

Job applicants' online musings get hard look - The Boston Globe

If you did a search, you'd find a lot more articles/blogs like this one. And it doesn't just effect adults. My friend's daughter was 16.

[stonewall]

My DD just turned 16 and has had an account on both sites for quite a while(MySpace since age 14 & FaceBook at 15)- although she now uses FaceBook for almost everything. The thing is, she has made it so that she can restrict who can actually see her whole profile ( without permission, they can only see her name), and then she can restrict it even further so that even someone who is a "friend" can't have access to her entire page ( but, quite sensibly, she tells me that if you wouldn't allow someone to see your whole site then why would you even bother to give them limited access! ).
My younger DS set up a site on MySpace when he was only 12 (he did it while he was at his father's house) and when I found out about it, I contacted the board administrator's, telling them that he was under age and they responded within the hour and promptly removed his page!
These sites make it possible for her to keep in touch with kids that she met at camp, 2/3 of the way across the country, as well as with her best friend whose family spends part of each year far, far away, and even with her older brother in Seattle! She does not like to use the phone( ) and prefers to spend a few minutes here and there catching up via the computer. She'll walk by the computer and notice that her boyfriend (just started college, and like DD, a year ahead in school) has "Written something on her wall!" or that a friend who has moved to another state has written just to say "hi", and she'll smile for a half hour afterwards!
I have taught her never to put anything in writing that she would not want everyone to see, because, unlike a conversation, which is over and done with, words are there for posterity When she goes to college in just 2 years, I am not going to be able to be there to look over her shoulder so I can only hope that the lessons she has learned at home will carry over. They have to grow up some time and I'd rather that she take some of those giant steps while I'm here to provide assistance.

[HiddenMickey]

Our kids (12 and 14) are not allowed to do any kind of online thing that identifies them in any way (so definitely no Facebook or MySpace). AIM is the only thing I allow and even then, I want to know anyone that they "talk" to. No unidentified people.

[DisneyFanAnn]

I use facebook (particularly at work since I'm at a university) but not myspace so I can't really give a comparison but I do like the privacy filters on facebook.

Good luck with your decision