As of January 1, 2019, we have closed our forums. This is a decision we did not come to lightly, but it is necessary. The software our forums run on is just too out-of-date and it poses a significant security risk. The server software itself must be updated, and it cannot be without removing the forums.
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There are other changes as well.
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My DS was invited to a kindergarten classmate's sixth birthday party yesterday. I have only met this boy's Mom once at a class party. Which leads me to my question, when you don't know the parents of your child's friend, do you stay at the party or are you suppose to leave?? I thought of asking the Mom if she needed any help, but I'm just not sure what you're suppose to do! When I was a kid, I remember my friend's parents just dropping them off and picking them up later.
If you don't feel comfortable with leaving your child alone, there is no problem asking them if you can lend a hand - I'm sure that most parents would appreciate the extra help!
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I would drop the child off and leave. If I invited kids to a party, and one of the parents, that I didn't know, stayed, I would feel like I had to entertain the parent and the child. I didn't invite the parent, I invited the kid. If you don't feel comfortable leaving the child at the party, decline the invitation. Or maybe before the party, invite the child to your house with the parent and invite the parent in for coffee while the kids play.
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Last edited by Cheriemek; 04-19-2007 at 07:58 PM..
I would drop the child off and leave. If I invited kids to a party, and one of the parents, that I didn't know, stayed, I would feel like I had to entertain the parent and the child. I didn't invite the parent, I invited the kid. If you don't feel comfortable leaving the child at the party, decline the invitation. Or maybe before the party, invite the child to your house with the parent and invite the parent in for coffee while the kids play.
Well, what should I do?I'm not asking in an argumentative or mean spirited way, but I'm having such a hard time with this. My child has to have epi-pens with him at all times due to a peanut allergy. I don't think the birthday child's parents want the responsibility of keeping an eye on him at all times, and giving him a shot if he has a contact reaction to something in the birthday cake or (my worst nightmare) cut up peanut butter and jelly sandwiches put out for the kids(he brings his own treats and cupcake). If he doesn't get the epi-pen within minutes of a reaction, he could die (depending on the severity of the reaction, but he has been anaphylactic in the past). Should I decline all birthday party invitations. I'm just asking because I really don't have a choice to leave, and I'm always afraid the parents feel the way you described. I never expect to be entertained. And, our situation isn't that rare. Aidan is one of 2 in his class that are Peanut allergic, and he was one of 2 in his class at pre-school as well.
In answer to the original question, my son is 6yo, and I stay. Luckily most parties around here aren't at houses, they're at bowling alleys or bounce arounds, chuck e cheese-- places like that, and my staying is no big deal. The one we had this year that was at a house--- the parent and I were pretty friendly, so I know she didn't mind my staying, I tried to help with the other kids.
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Dina
Last edited by Happymommy; 04-21-2007 at 12:24 PM..
My child has to have epi-pens with him at all times due to a peanut allergy. I don't think the birthday child's parents want the responsibility of keeping an eye on him at all times, and giving him a shot if he has a contact reaction to something in the birthday cake or (my worst nightmare) cut up peanut butter and jelly sandwiches put out for the kids(he brings his own treats and cupcake). If he doesn't get the epi-pen within minutes of a reaction, he could die (depending on the severity of the reaction, but he has been anaphylactic in the past).
Dina - I forgot about your son's peanut allergy. That is a different situation. Bring your son and explain that because of the allergy, you'd like to sick around. If a mom told me that, I'd be happy to have her stay, and relieved that I wouldn't have to be so vigilent myself.
Dina - I forgot about your son's peanut allergy. That is a different situation. Bring your son and explain that because of the allergy, you'd like to sick around. If a mom told me that, I'd be happy to have her stay, and relieved that I wouldn't have to be so vigilent myself.
That makes me feel so much better-- THANKS. It's so hard, because I would probably leave. At the last party, at the house--- I felt like such a pain staying (there was one other who stayed, but that was because her son has some behavior issues, and hits--- so she wanted to be there to make sure he wasn't misbehaving). Well there was a family party during the kids party. The other mom started eating the food etc. I just couldn't do that (it was offered)--- Luckily the mom has always been really friendly to me, but I still felt a little weird being there with all of the family. We just got an invitation yesterday to a party, but luckily it's at a gym, but I'm still going to have to call and explain our situation and why I have to stick around. I feel like such a pain.
I started leaving DD at about that age. But there were only 4 girls in her kindergarten class besides her, so we knew everyone pretty well. If you're not comfortable leaving him, then I'd ask to stay and help out
Since you don't know the parents, I would either (1) call and ask if she'd like some help (you'd get a chance to talk with her) or (2) when you get there, hang around for a bit (or longer depending on your comfort level) and if you feel like you need to stay, tell her you're staying to help. It might not be the most polite thing to do, but I think it's the most tactful way of handling it -- she's probably not going to kick you out at that point if you really feel like you should not leave your son.
As a mom, I plan for parents to stay at a party no matter how well we know the child. Kids only parties are pretty rare. Maybe rollerskating parties when you turn 13, your parents won't stay, but younger than that, I think parents are expected to stay and welcome to help out.
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I agree with Chrissi. I always welcome parents to stay at my parties. And at that age, I stayed at many a party with my children. So, yes, offer to help out and I'm sure they'll take you up on it.
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I use to leave Kelsey at parties even toward the end of daycare age. We didn't always know the parents well because you really only saw them occasionally at drop off and pick up unless there was an event at school. Unless you know something that makes you feel uncomfortable about the family in which case you should just decline the invite all together I think dropping off would be fine.
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