Family problems~ I am near tears! About This Page:

[disneyknut]

Let me start this post by quoting a plaque I saw today at Kennywood Park ( I should have bought it)

The difference between inlaws & outlaws is that outlaws are wanted!!

<font size="2" face="Comic Sans MS, Arial">As I wrote in my previous post about my stepFIL & him being a party pooper on our upcoming Disney trip..
Well, today was a HORRIBLE day & I just don't know what to do.
MIL wanted to go to Kennywood Amusement park today & we all went.. Everything was going along wonderful... stepFIL was even riding a lot of the rides I would never expect ( for you Pittsburghers he went on The Exterminator among others ) & I kept saying to MIL & DH " Wow, Dick is really doing great, he is trying so many new things" & DH & MIL agreed.
Well, DH & DS got in line to go on Phantoms Revenge ( A pretty wild Roller Coaster) & the rest of us chickens decided to wait..StepFIL & other DS had to go to the bathroom & proceeded to walk to what they thought was the closest one. I said to MIL " There's a bathroom around the corner" Well, MIL gets all flustered & starts running after stepFIL ( like he's 2YO) she does'nt catch up to them so she decides to go to the bathroom herself.
Okay.. DD & I are talking with a friend we met there & stepFIL comes up to me in a huff screaming " Where's Linda??" (MIL) I said "she went looking for you guys at the bathroom" He then looses it & SCREAMS "I told her to stay where she was & not leave!!" & in a tizzy fit takes off to find MIL.. My friend looks at me like stepFIL lost his mind & I was humiliated by his scene. I say goodbye & by the time I catch up to MIL & stepFIL he is SCREAMING at her that if he tells her to stay somewhere she better not leave & she is an A**, ( among other nasty words which I didn't appreciate in front of my children) he's tired of her just leaving & she better start listening..he is never doing anything with her or going anywhere with her yada yada yada...
Well people were really staring ( I am not exaggerating he was SCREAMING at the top of his lungs!!) & I felt VERY uncomfortable ( not to mention embarassed for us & MIL) so I took my kids to get an ice cream & wait for DH & DS. Meet up with DH & we get back to MIL & stepFIL & he is STILL yelling..
DH wants to go eat dinner & we walk into a little cafteria type restaurant to see the menu & stepFIL says that it's too loud he doesn't want to eat there.. DH has now HAD it & tells us that WE ( our family- the 5 of us) ARE eating there & MIL & stepFIL can do what they want!! ( Yeah Jim!!! way to stand up for yourself!) we order our food & get a table & after a couple of minutes MIL comes & sits by us & instead of being mad at her DH she is apologetic "Oh, when Dick gets tired he gets cranky!" We left the park right after dinner as a storm was headed their way & EVERY ride in the park was shut down ( I guess they are taking extraordinary precautions after the bad storm in May)
Well, StepFIL is still not speaking to MIL & she keeps trying to talk to him & baby him & he is totally ignoring her..He now has gone to bed!
Here's what's bothering me.. We have adjoining rooms at Disney & If he pulls a stunt like today we will be stuck in the room listening to him rant & rave...
This is one instance where telling MIL that we were embarassed by him will do NO good.. she will defend him & then turn it around " You get mad at Jim & yell too!"
A bit of FYI... MIL married this man for his $$$$.. He is a multi-millionaire & lets her buy ANYTHING she wants but I'm sorry NO amount of money is worth being humiliated!!!
What do we do??? I am really thinking of cancelling this trip ( & I'll probably break my kids hearts, not to mention really make DH mad!!)
WHY OH WHY DID I ASK HER TO COME ON THIS TRIP??????
You know the old saying "leave & learn" well, I think I'm learning a hard lesson..
Sorry to go on & on guys but I am sitting here with tears streaming down my face thinking of a ruined ( or VERY uncomfortable) Disney trip... Thanks for letting me vent!!! [img]graemlins/cry2.gif[/img] The one good thing that came of this is DH made us do what WE wanted & not cater to stepfIL.. that is a plus going into the trip.. We will do what we want & to heck with them!!!

[LilMarcieMouse]

Why don't you see if you can change rooms At WDW?,If something like this happens you can go your ouwn way and do not have to hear it while in yopur room. Thats what I would do if it were me. Sending you happy dust to help your mood.Hope you feel beeter.

[luvnwdwgal]

Don't cancel your trip or let them ruin it for you!
Are you sure you can't sit down with MIL and talk to her? Are you positive they even want to go, maybe they are only going because you asked them and they don't want you to feel bad by saying no? As I mentioned before...you guys do your thing and let them handle themselves. Just because MIL lets her husband treat her like that doesn't mean you have to put up with it! I would at least say something about him acting like that in front of the kids. I would not put up with that!

[DebiDebiDebi]

First of all, let me say this; relatives are why God gave us friends... [img]images/icons/wink.gif[/img]

When we went to WDW with my folks, they stayed in the Contemporary, and we stayed at the Poly. That way we had time to ourselves. We also would split up durring the day, and met up for meals, as we figured out pretty quickly we moved at a lot faster pace than my folks do. My girls stayed the night at Poppa & Gramma's hotel one night, (after getting the OK from the Contemorary staff). We all had a blast, and it worked well. Good luck, and I hope it all works out well!

[ 07-25-2002, 09:36 PM: Message edited by: DebiDebiDebi ]

[pflamingo]

Wow. If I was your DH, I'd be concerned about my mom being in such an abusive relationship. He doesn't have to hit her for it to be considered abuse. Just b/c she married him for the wrong reasons doesn't mean she has to stay in it. That said, there's probably not a whole lot you can do about that part. I just had to give my 2 cents on it.

Okay, here's an idea. It's sneaky, but what the heck. Call or fax your resort, and arrange to have non-adjoining, non-adjacent rooms. Maybe even on opposite sides of the resort (or different buildings, depending on where you're staying). If you don't think you can tell your MIL & stepFIL why you don't want to be near them, you can always say that they couldn't give you the adjoining rooms. Okay, I know, it's a lie, and I don't condone lying, but I think you're right to be concerned about having your kids exposed to this kind of behavior, so maybe it's a justifiable lie.

Do not let them ruin your vacation. StepFIL sounds like a control freak, and you don't need to let him control your life or your vacation. If they don't like it, too bad. That's a relationship that needs some serious therapy, and you need to do whatever you can to keep your kids away from their sick behavior.

Good Luck!

[AmndaSarek]

Your stepFIL sounds like a CONTROL freak. I really feel for your MIL, control freaks can be hard to live with ... they are usually pretty insecure people underneath and have a hard time ever really relaxing.
Maybe you can do a room switch instead of doing adjoining rooms at WDW. I think you should also think about letting them have some alone time ... maybe encourage them to take one of the behind the scenes tours or play some golf or shopping at Disney Downtown.
Good luck! Wish I had some more helpful suggestions. [img]images/icons/frown.gif[/img]