Why don't husbands listen? - UPDATED 7/21 Post #13 - PassPorter - A Community of Walt Disney World, Disneyland, Disney Cruise Line, and General Travel Forums
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Why don't husbands listen? - UPDATED 7/21 Post #13
I got a brand new point and shoot camera about 3 weeks ago and the only feature I don't like about it is the lens cap. It's one of these you just put it on and if you look at it wrong. it pops off. My other cameras always had an automatic lens cap or it had one that "locks" into place (you know the kind, you press the little tabs and it releases). I looked into getting a new replacement cap but I have no idea what size to get because it's one of the P&S with a retractable lens (the outer one is really big, the inner one much smaller). Lenny, on the other hand, found a whole "kit" - a UV filter, some sort of adapter and the "locking" lens cap. So far I've found only 3 reviews for it. One said it didn't fit his camera - which wasn't even a model listed - one said it fit fine and a third said the lens fell right off (I don't know if it's the filter or if it was indeed the lens itself). So based on the lack of info out there (especially at the Fuji site which is the camera brand) I told Lenny I didn't want it. It's a brand new camera and I don't want to screw it up. My very easy, very inexpensive solution to keeping the lens cap in place? Throw a rubber band around the camera and voila, it keeps the cap on and it's easy to move the rubber band to take off the cap when need be. So what does Lenny do last night when I'm at work? He orders the kit I told him I didn't want . And I know only because I checked the credit card statement when I was doing bills this morning and I saw the purchase on there. And of course he didn't mention it - he'll use the excuse "you were at work and I forget to tell you when you got home" (can you tell I've heard it before?). Then, in the next week, all the hours I work are when Lenny is home which means I now have to hide my new camera. I can see him getting this kit and attempting to put it on himself when I'm at work and screwing it up. Why can't husbands listen? Do we speak a foreign language they just don't understand or do they simply not understand the word "no"? If I wanted the cap/filter kit, I would have ordered it the first time we saw it. I'm just not comfortable with the lack of information and his lack of ability. Lenny may know a lot about things from getting information but he can't use a camera. I trust Abby more with cameras and no knowledge of them than I do with him because he touches stuff and then has absolutely no clue what he did. Then I'm left to try and figure it out. Grrr...I just don't need the frustration. And it's not even the first time he's done it. A month or so ago, he ordered a rechargeable battery pack for my old camera so we could stop buying the lithiums. He totally ignored the fact it said for Olympus cameras. I own a Canon. We got the package, I opened it up and he didn't believe me when I said it didn't fit. "It should fit, I don't care it's a different type. It still takes two AA batteries." He tried it himself, they wouldn't fit and then he comes out with "I'll just modify it so it does fit." So yeah, I can see something happening and not having a camera for our Disney trip. It's been a week and I'm really not in the mood for his lack of listening ability. I know he thinks he's doing something nice but usually it doesn't work out. He only remembers the "I did this for you" and forgets the "yeah, but it wasn't right."
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Hide the camera! Can you cancel the order?
I know what he's doing; men have an innate need to fix things for their women. I truly think it's a biological need to care for us. Unfortunately, sounds as if Lenny doesn't quite know when to stop. Hope you come up with a solution Lenny will understand, since he doesn't seem to process "Leave my camera alone"
Definitely hide the camera or better yet put it in your car so it's with you.
And I believe it is a genetic defect that men possess that causes them to turn off listening & reading skills when we ask them to do/not do something. Not sure why I write a list if you don't follow it - common statement here.
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I think there are plenty of men who listen. It sounds like Lenny has learned he can do what he wants without respecting your opinion. Is there a way he can pay for the kit out of his money, not yours or family funds. Is there something he may want that you can say no to-you spent the money on that worthless lens kit. I know it sounds like treating him like a chald, but if he acts like one, what can you do.
I would also make sure I don't share a problem with him-he sounds like he feels he needs to fix things for you.
Definitely hide the camera or take it with you. My husband certainly has selective hearing and DD confirms that her hubby does as well. I truly think it is in their genes!
First thing that I tell my students when they get an instrument is do not give it to your father to fix!
Every year a trumpet player will get the mouthpiece stuck from dropping it on the floor. I tell the kids do not let your father or anyone else take a tool and try to pull the mouthpiece out because they will damage the lead pipe (where the mouthpiece goes into the trumpet). Every year I will have at least one student who comes in with a trumpet that has a lead pipe that looks like a corkscrew because dad tried to pull the mouthpiece with a wrench.
Well the kit that I didn't want came in the mail yesterday. All I can say is mark the date on the calendar. The kit was what he had ordered but the way it was represented online - and the way Lenny was trying to explain it to me with what the pictures showed - was not how it actually worked . Between the pictures and Lenny, it looked like the adapter was suppose to slide into place but with the way the camera is built, there is no room to slide anything anywhere. When we got it, it isn't meant to slide anywhere - it screws in. And on my new camera, I have two sets of threads - one in the biggest opening and one in the smallest opening where the lens actually is. Needless to say, I was actually wrong. I didn't think it would work at all but it does. The filter then screws into the adapter and then the lens cap can clip onto either the filter or the adapter. We put the adapter on and it fits nicely - not too loose and not too tight (unless I tighten it too much) and the lens cap works great. I looked up some stuff last night and between that and playing with it, I'm not sure how much I'll actually use the filter though. I want good pictures and with the filter, I read - and experienced (on purpose) - that sometimes I can get reflections in the photo. I like to take (flashless) pictures on the rides but I don't know how the ride lighting will affect them with the filter. I also don't want to be putting the filter on and taking it off all day long - something will most likely drop and break if I do (some days my fingers just don't like to work). Using it (or not) will be a time will tell type of thing but in the meantime, as I said, the "results" were not at all what I was expecting. This is definitely a time I will hear about in the years to come "remember the filter kit I got for you? It worked, didn't it?" I so hate when I'm wrong
On another note, not only did Lenny order me this, he ordered me a shoulder strap, a hand grip and a boot. I have no idea what I'm going to do with the boot (give it to him someplace where it hurts ). The hand grip I am excited for as that I know will be a help for me. The shoulder strap I'm not 100% sure about yet though. Yesterday when I was playing with the camera, the strap was bothering my neck but I don't know if it was because of the bigger camera, the cheap neck strap it came with, the heat we had or a combination of all three so the thought of the shoulder strap was very appealing. Will it hang comfortably or where the camera won't get whacked all the time (I'm always walking into things) or will it irritate my neck in other ways are all questions that will be answered once we get it.
I keep giving Lenny a hard time though. I said to him "what, is this to prevent me from getting a Disney themed one on vacation?" He said no but if I have a brand new camera strap, I doubt I'm going to replace it with another brand new one. Knowing Lenny though, he'll have us hitting the camera store first to check them out. That's what he did a few years ago when he saw someone else with a Disney camera strap. He saw it and wanted one for me. He can be so frustrating at times but then he goes and does something nice for me. How can I stay mad at him? I guess I can't, can I.
Darlene,
It sounds like Lenny can be a pain at times, but it also sounds like this time he tried to do something nice for you. However, clumsy you may have thought it was, make sure you also appreciate it and tell him. My ex would never had done that. (He would have told me to take care of it myself)
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- one said it fit fine and a third said the lens fell right off (I don't know if it's the filter or if it was indeed the lens itself). So based on the lack of info out there (especially at the Fuji site which is the camera brand) I told Lenny I didn't want it. It's a brand new camera and I don't want to screw it up. My very easy, very inexpensive solution to keeping the lens cap in place? Throw a rubber band around the camera and voila, it keeps the cap on and it's easy to move the rubber band to take off the cap when need be. So what does Lenny do last night when I'm at work? He orders the kit I told him I didn't want 
. And I know only because I checked the credit card statement when I was doing bills this morning and I saw the purchase on there. And of course he didn't mention it - he'll use the excuse "you were at work and I forget to tell you when you got home" (can you tell I've heard it before?). Then, in the next week, all the hours I work are when Lenny is home which means I now have to hide my new camera. I can see him getting this kit and attempting to put it on himself when I'm at work and screwing it up. Why can't husbands listen? Do we speak a foreign language they just don't understand or do they simply not understand the word "no"? If I wanted the cap/filter kit, I would have ordered it the first time we saw it. I'm just not comfortable with the lack of information and his lack of ability. Lenny may know a lot about things from getting information but he can't use a camera. I trust Abby more with cameras and no knowledge of them than I do with him because he touches stuff and then has absolutely no clue what he did. Then I'm left to try and figure it out. Grrr...I just don't need the frustration. And it's not even the first time he's done it. A month or so ago, he ordered a rechargeable battery pack for my old camera so we could stop buying the lithiums. He totally ignored the fact it said for Olympus cameras. I own a Canon. We got the package, I opened it up and he didn't believe me when I said it didn't fit. "It should fit, I don't care it's a different type. It still takes two AA batteries." He tried it himself, they wouldn't fit and then he comes out with "I'll just modify it so it does fit." 
So yeah, I can see something happening and not having a camera for our Disney trip. It's been a week and I'm really not in the mood for his lack of listening ability. I know he thinks he's doing something nice but usually it doesn't work out. He only remembers the "I did this for you" and forgets the "yeah, but it wasn't right." 
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Our last WDW trip as a family 
. Between the pictures and Lenny, it looked like the adapter was suppose to slide into place but with the way the camera is built, there is no room to slide anything anywhere. When we got it, it isn't meant to slide anywhere - it screws in. And on my new camera, I have two sets of threads - one in the biggest opening and one in the smallest opening where the lens actually is. Needless to say, I was actually wrong. I didn't think it would work at all but it does. The filter then screws into the adapter and then the lens cap can clip onto either the filter or the adapter. We put the adapter on and it fits nicely - not too loose and not too tight (unless I tighten it too much) and the lens cap works great. I looked up some stuff last night and between that and playing with it, I'm not sure how much I'll actually use the filter though. I want good pictures and with the filter, I read - and experienced (on purpose) - that sometimes I can get reflections in the photo. I like to take (flashless) pictures on the rides but I don't know how the ride lighting will affect them with the filter. I also don't want to be putting the filter on and taking it off all day long - something will most likely drop and break if I do (some days my fingers just don't like to work). Using it (or not) will be a time will tell type of thing but in the meantime, as I said, the "results" were not at all what I was expecting. This is definitely a time I will hear about in the years to come "remember the filter kit I got for you? It worked, didn't it?" I so hate when I'm wrong 
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