What a worm...SIL needs pixies (and if I'm asking for HER, it's gotta be bad!) LONG! - PassPorter - A Community of Walt Disney World, Disneyland, Disney Cruise Line, and General Travel Forums
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What a worm...SIL needs pixies (and if I'm asking for HER, it's gotta be bad!) LONG!
DH's sister is a few fries short of a happy meal to start with. She has been a real piece of work her whole life. She finally met someone online a few years ago and they got married. He was from Orlando (good thing, I thought!) His Dad was a Southern Baptist preacher (another good thing, I thought) His Dad also worked on the Canada/GB pavilions at Epcot (WOW!). They all came to Ohio for the "wedding" (civil ceremony, the church ceremony was in Orlando) and his parents were wonderful people, but he was a smarmy slug. He refused to acknowledge when I spoke to him and only conversed with DH (who hates "visiting", so THAT was interesting... ) He reminded me of Wormtongue in Lord of the Rings. A woman mustn't speak unless spoken to, must wear dresses, long hair, etc.
SIL got preggers right away and I sent them a TON of clothes, baby to pre-school b/c they were poor as Job's turkey, about to file bankruptcy. Come to find out, it was b/c they were deeply in credit card debt from giving to missionaries. I understand giving, but going into debt??? Some of what I sent had Pooh or Mickey on it and I was later chastised by my MIL *not* to send them those types of things anymore...they had BURNED THEM (NEW clothes). When I asked why they didn't just donate them, I was told they couldn't "propogate the evil". BIL used to work for Disney, BTW, but quit b/c of "them hiring gays." They had a second child when the 1st was 10.5 months old.
OK, so SIL is seriously not all together there (FIL calls her a "bump on a log") and here she is trying to raise basically twins. BIL refuses to do ANYTHING around the house, it's 'woman's work' (including mowing the lawn, something SIL has never even attempted). He comes home and berates her for all the things she hasn't done. She literally puts the kids in their bedroom, shuts the door, and leaves them to do housework, even when they were little babies. They are like dolls to her. CPS won't do anything b/c they are fed, clothed, and sheltered and there are much worse problems to deal with.
The churches they've been going to (and leaving) are getting progressively more and more closed-minded. The most recent was a white supremecist/independent baptist where the preacher was just downright offensive about women. I couldn't believe what was coming out of his mouth on their website. BTW, you can't swim in the Atlantic b/c there might be someone of the opposite gender somewhere else touching the water... They also send *us* tracts (and hand them out to the Amish and Mennonites south of us...) and our "holiday card" with the requisite snowman on it always has some kind of scripture in it telling us we're gonna burn. Quoted from the "1611 King James" (which, my Dad has a facsimile copy of and I'm going to copy some of it to send to them, just to show that they aren't really using the 1611 like they think they are...) That one wasn't strict enough, so they are in the market for an even more restrictive one. They drove to TN last week to visit a church, so decided to head north to visit my in-laws for a week and catch another service on the way back home.
While they were at my in-laws, I guess there was a huge fight with him accusing my MIL of "interfering" in their marriage b/c she tells SIL she can wear her hair however she likes and wear whatever clothes she likes. Then he started in on MIL about her wearing pants and short hair and how she isn't "right with God". There was a shouting match, but no one kicked the creep to the curb like I would have. It's a good thing I was 1,000 miles away, I'm tellin' ya! He also refused to eat the food my MIL prepared (on a fixed budget) and sent SIL out everyday for fast food and bottled water (we do have city water at our houses, better than the stinky stuff in Orlando!) FIL said it was good the weather was nice b/c he stayed outside most of the time.
Anyway, SIL is clearly being mentally abused and what's more, there are 2 little boys who are growing up seeing that it's OK to dish out and that a woman will take it. Please send her pixies that she can get off the log and DO something to get away from this creep. He's been divorced once, although that was not his fault, of course, even though his ex got everything in the settlement...and with his current religious state, I can't see him getting another one. I don't know him that well, obviously, but he strikes me as the kind who could do harm to protect his soul, if you KWIM. I really can't stand SIL, but I really can't stand to see her in this situation, either.
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Yikes... this is truly frightening. I am concerned for her safety and that of her children. You might want to call Soc Services yourself and see if you can't find out if emotional damage can get them out there. If nothing else, hopefully they'll ask your SIL if she feels safe in her home, and maybe she'll slip up and answer truthfully that she's not.
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Honestly what good are pixies going to do? Seems like the situation is WAY beyond pixies. I am going to bite my tongue...I wanted to say alot more but I won't.
Maybe you should just cut yourself off from them...it is obvious that you are not going to be able to "help" them. If the kids aren't being physically abused a doubt CPS would do anything.
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Robin Twitter name: @NKsDogwalker Find me on FB: robinkay6573@yahoo.com 38th Birthday with Mom, Dad and friends 2011 Next Trip: Cruise on Jewel of the Seas for Christmas 2012
WOW! Is there anyone in the family (or maybe very close friends) who could try to talk some sense into her (w/o him around)? She needs to wake up!
I had a boyfriend whose family was somewhat like this. They had 4 children and they would spend around $50-60/week on groceries and then write out a check to the church for almost $200!! They were constantly getting calls from bill collectors, mortgage company, etc. and she (the mom) kept writing out those checks to the church. I have no problem with tithing or giving (I work for non-profit, so philanthropy is very important to me and DH) but I don't feel that the intention is to give more than what you spend to feed and clothe your family - or to end up bankrupt from credit card debt!
Wow! That is getting much worse than when you sent them the clothes. Those poor little boys, watching their mother being treated like that, and learning that it's okay.
But, honestly - she's letting it happen. It'll take something drastic for her to get the gumption up to leave him - and she probably never will, since she's no doubt being told that she'll go to **you know where** if she does.
I'll be thinking of her, and hoping that she comes to her senses.
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The more I think about it the madder I get. She has a fairly low IQ and has never done very well thinking for herself. She went from her mother doing everything for her (including cleaning her glasses, packing her lunch) to married with children and a "husband" telling her what she could and couldn't do. The most I've ever heard was when he announced they would not celebrate Christmas (understand that Christmas was VERY important to my DH's family, it was the only holiday they really celebrated and the only day they could pretty much count on FIL being there and not being drunk). She insisted that she still be allowed to send cards and decorate some, hence the snowman EVERYTHING, and the tracts/scriptures in each card..
I've talked to CPS in FL and there is nothing they can do. I asked if they could look into her being abused as a special needs individual, but, again, nothing they can do I understand they have a heavy burden and I don't blame them at all. I just wish I could motivate her in-laws and my in-laws to stage an intervention before it gets bad, but they all say they are too old and too tired to argue with him.
It's really unfortunate that she is in this situation. There are some men out in the world that just know what to say and do to get a woman to fall for them and lose their self esteem too in the process.
If she is a special needs person, is there anything the police can do? What truly is upsetting to me is the fact that this guy has brain washed her and for whatever reason she fails to see the control and abuse. Church is a wonderful thing, but this guy is pushing the extreme. Now there are two boys that are going to think the way he treats mom is the way women are suppose to be treated.
Honestly, the best you can hope for is that he never hurts you SIL or the boys and that she is as safe as can be where she is. There are always going to be extremist in the world and nothing anyone says or does will ever change them. Just hang in there and know that if she ever does make her way out from there, that you will be there to do what ever it might be that you can do. You have tried all you can. You obviously are a person that doesn't give up and that is great!! I'm that way too. But this might just be the one time you need to just trust that the right course will happen.
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) He reminded me of Wormtongue in Lord of the Rings. A woman mustn't speak unless spoken to, must wear dresses, long hair, etc. 
I understand giving, but going into debt??? Some of what I sent had Pooh or Mickey on it and I was later chastised by my MIL *not* to send them those types of things anymore...they had BURNED THEM (NEW clothes). When I asked why they didn't just donate them, I was told they couldn't "propogate the evil". BIL used to work for Disney, BTW, but quit b/c of "them hiring gays." They had a second child when the 1st was 10.5 months old.
They also send *us* tracts (and hand them out to the Amish and Mennonites south of us...) and our "holiday card" with the requisite snowman on it always has some kind of scripture in it telling us we're gonna burn. Quoted from the "1611 King James" (which, my Dad has a facsimile copy of and I'm going to copy some of it to send to them, just to show that they aren't really using the 1611 like they think they are...) That one wasn't strict enough, so they are in the market for an even more restrictive one. They drove to TN last week to visit a church, so decided to head north to visit my in-laws for a week and catch another service on the way back home. 
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