The saying you can't really understand someone until you've walked a mile in their shoes is never so powerful until you find yourself misunderstood. I find that this happens most while in transition, when old circles of people keep spinning in their familiar, habitual orbits and you begin spinning off into something new.

Have you ever put on transitional shoes, and found yourself walking a few miles on your own?

Well, sometimes you just have to shake the dust off your feet and keep going. Last night I had another understanding-fest with the Sisterhood of the Transitioning Shoes.

We are a group of women, all on the move, dedicated to making smart choices and learning from each other's mistakes. We are brought together from all walks of life by our belief that the future holds promise and hope, and we are never going to give up.

You can find transitioning groups all over. They are in trade schools and colleges. They are in 12 step programs and therapy groups. They may be learning how to cook, how to manage money, or how to run a business. They might be hoping to recover from the loss of a loved one. They might be a circle of Military spouses or shell-shocked troops. Maybe they've just received a dire diagnosis or had a serious injury. They may be recovering from a lay-off, a failed marriage, or domestic violence. They may be learning to calm a cranky baby, understand a child with autism, or live with a mentally ill family member.

There are countless ways to transition into something healthier, but one thing is certain from what I've seen. If you find a group that is walking in the same shoes, you'll have a much happier journey.

I love all my Sisterhoods of the Transitioning Shoes, and I have to say there are many of them in my life. And you know the best part...they love me too!

We love not having to defend choices or positions. We love the voice of experience that we can only find from those who've seen the same scenery and read the same maps. We love the comfort of empathy.

Joining a transition circle does not mean that you have to walk away from old circles completely, but many old circles rely on keeping things the same, and if you shake things up, they might not be able to handle the upheaval.

The scenario of old circles closing ranks when you step out into something different is, unfortunately, a common one. If that happens, though, lace up your transitioning shoes and see if you can't find a circle with the same shoes as you.

Those old circles may open up for you one day, or they may be closed forever. Some of the old crew may find themselves closed out later for shaking things up, and they may join you.

In any event, from my experience, there is a transitioning group for just about anything, and, if you keep searching, you never have to walk alone.